• Home
  • Shop
  • Funformation
  • Conley's Corner
  • O. D. F.
  • Gen CW
  • Thoughts of Mom
  • About
  • Contact
  • Wise Archives
    • The Wise Files/Shame Nation
    • Wise Archives/Suzi Speaks
    • Wise Archives/Eats n Sips
    • Wise Archives/Sounds
    • Wise Archives/Style
    • Wise Archives /Wellness
    • Wise Archives/ETC.
CRACK WISE MAG

the crack files:
​Suzi sPEAKS

Just an average girl looking for her dream gig. Hit me up at: [email protected]

    JOIN THE FUNFORMATION MOVEMENT! 

    ​And don't worry. We won't spam you or sell your info. We don't have that kind of time... or motivation. 
Subscribe to Newsletter

Wag the Dog

8/9/2022

 
Picture
This week's job app​:

THE JOB:

Dog Walker

Picture

THE LETTER:

Picture

THE RESPONSE:

Picture

Chi-nay

1/25/2022

 
Picture
This week's job app​:

THE JOB:

China Fellowship Role

Picture

THE LETTER:

Picture

THE RESPONSE:

Picture

Dracarys

11/30/2021

 
Call me Daenerys!
Picture

THE LETTER:

Picture

THE JOB:

​Droga5 - Associate Producer, Film

Accenture – New York, NY

Full Job Description
Who we are
Droga5, part of Accenture Interactive, is a creative agency with offices in New York, London and Tokyo. From integrated communications and experience innovation to business design, Droga5 exists to build and sustain the most influential brands of the 21st century through creativity. Droga5 was founded in 2006 and has been recognized as Agency of the Year more than 25 times and was named both Ad Age and Adweek’s Agency of the Decade (2010–2019). Visit Droga5.com or @droga5 on all social platforms to get to know us better.

Job Summary
The Associate Producer, Film provides comprehensive and effective support for the Film Production team throughout all stages of the production process while learning from colleagues and over time beginning to take on increased responsibility for some projects.

Job Responsibilities
Research and study previous film productions to develop a thorough understanding of industry and film terminology, techniques, equipment, and process.

Support the production process gaining ownership opportunities by demonstrating control of every assigned project, both internal facing projects as well as external / public facing executions.

Manage day-to-day communications activities including scheduling, reporting, billing, meeting arrangements, etc.

Interrogate and grow knowledge of the agency production, initiatives, and capabilities as well as overall industry best practices in general.

Increase knowledge of production partners, rates, and schedules.

Increase learning and experience by attending any bookings the Producer deems relevant.

Forge a close relationship with assigned team members striving to become a trusted creative ally and production confidant.

Take comprehensive notes during pre-production meetings to circulate to all relevant parties.
​

Party On

11/23/2021

 
Suzi = Party. Duh!
Picture

THE LETTER:

Picture

THE JOB:

​Calling All Birthday Party Musicians & Musical Performers in LA!

CuratedCare.Com - Los Angeles, CA
$20 - $60 an hour - Full-time, Part-time

Full Job Description
Calling all musicians and singers for at-home piano, guitar, and voice lessons, music-infused babysitting gigs & birthday party musician gigs!

Curatedcare.com connects "Kid Experts" with fams for child care gigs for help with one-off babysitting (date nights) part-time babysitting (afterschool pick up), temporary full time gigs (summer travel gigs) and everything in between.

We're an invite-only marketplace where you can create your profile, set your schedule and rate and scoop up requests from fams as they fit what you are seeking. If you are super cool human with experience in camp counseling, classrooms, tutoring, arts and crafts, sports, performance, etc this is a fit for you!

Check out our instagram and facebook pages to get a feel for the platform, and head to Curatedcare.com to learn more! If interested, send us a recent resume, we look forward to hearing from YOU!
​

Extra, Extra!

11/16/2021

 
Do I know celebs or what?!?
Picture

THE LETTER:

Picture

THE JOB:

​Celebrity Insider Reporter

Gematria Entertainment/ Bringer of Light 42 Records
​

Full Job Description
We have a very successful talk Show- "The Sherard Show" ( Available on IHeart Radio, Comcast NBC, and of course YouTube )that is becoming more popular each day and also Pure Essence TV Network- both based out of Hollywood, California. ( Pure Essence TV is available on Roku, Apple, Amazon and all IOS and Android devices). We are seeking a traveling reporter that will cover events, release parties etc- all over the world- for the benefit of content for our show and TV network.
​

Balls

11/9/2021

 
Football is life!
Picture

THE LETTER:

Picture

THE JOB:

​US Football Data Reporter

Scout Live Network - Fort Worth, TX
Temporarily remote
From $35 an hour

Full Job Description
On behalf of one of the world's leading suppliers of sport-related live data, we are looking for a US Football Data Reporter in Fort Worth (Texas).
Your job is to attend local sports events gathering real-time data with your smartphone and dedicated mobile application.
​
As a Freelancer, you work in a total autonomy. You can join us at any time.
An advanced knowledge of American Football rules is required.
Complete a free online training and then a short interview to validate your skills.
 

Driven

10/26/2021

 
Suzi take the wheel!
Picture

THE LETTER:

Picture

THE JOB:

Motor Vehicle Representative

California Public Utilities Commission –Tulane County, CA
Full-time, Part-time: $18.55 - $26.89/hour

Job Description and Duties:
Want to get started in state service? Motor Vehicle Representative is an entry-level position to state service. The State of California offers its employees generous benefits that may include CalPERS retirement and retirement savings plans (401k and 457), health and dental insurance, and access to long-term disability and long-term care insurance. The Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) offers career opportunity and growth for customer service champions seeking to make a difference in state service. Serving as the first impression for government service takes a special individual – are you the one?

The DMV is responsible for licensing drivers, registering vehicles, securing identities, and regulating the motor vehicle industry. If you are looking for a rewarding career in public service and want to make an impact improving the safety and environment of California communities, the DMV invites you to apply for the Motor Vehicle Representative position.

We are looking for motivated and enthusiastic candidates who are experienced in delivering stellar face-to-face customer service with a positive, can-do attitude for a fast-paced public contact position. The duties of the position include: cashiering, data entry, the ability to provide verbal, written, and technical assistance pertaining to the licensing of drivers, issuance of identification cards, vehicle registration, and occupational licenses, in a courteous and efficient manner.

Dependability and punctuality are essential.

To be considered for this job vacancy, applicants must indicate the Job Control/Code (JC) number and position number(s) in the “EXAMINATION(S) OR JOB TITLE(S) FOR WHICH YOU ARE APPLYING” box of the Examination/Employment Application (STD. 678), and submit all items listed under Required Application Documents below by the Final Filing Date. Employment history information must be submitted on the Examination/Employment Application (STD. 678); attaching a resume shall not be sufficient for the purposes of providing employment history. Failure to indicate required information on the STD. 678 or submit all items by the Final Filing Date may result in elimination from the recruitment process.
​

Live Better

9/28/2021

 
Makin’ people happy!
​

Picture

THE LETTER:

Picture

THE JOB:

Walmart Delivery Driver-- Payson, AZ
Up to $30 an hour - Full-time, Part-time, Contract

Full Job Description
Join Walmart and deliver groceries with the Spark Driver App. A new program working to deliver to customers in your area

DRIVER PERKS:
Select and choose the hours you want to work
Paid weekly: Sign up for direct deposit
Be YOUR own boss
Easy and convenient pickup and dropoff instructions
Drivers keep 100% of tips earned

HOW IT WORKS:
Deliveries available every day, 7 am to 7 pm
Pick up prepackaged orders from Walmart stores
Promptly deliver groceries to customer locations
Pick delivery slots on the Spark Driver App
Know how much you'll make before accepting any order.
​
REQUIREMENTS:
Smartphone
Must be 18 years or older
Valid driver's license & acceptable driving record
Consent to a background check
Authorized to work in the United States

Niner Niner

9/21/2021

 
Helicopters are neato!
​

Picture

THE LETTER:

Picture

THE JOB:

Ground Crew
Paradise Helicopters-- Hilo, HI
Full Job Description
Are you looking for a fun and fast-paced work environment? Join Paradise Helicopters, Hawaii's premier helicopter tour company.

Searching for hardworking, detail-oriented individuals wanting to join our team. As a Ground Crew employee, your role includes a priority focus on Customer Service and Safety. A desire to provide a "raving fans experience" is required. The right candidate will be able to elevate company standards, raise awareness of safety, provide excellent customer service and a desire to exceed guest expectations.

We are an award-winning, veteran-owned company widely recognized for our industry-leading safety certifications and our passion for providing our guests with an amazing experience. Our extraordinary tours and exclusive charters immerse guests in the awe-inspiring natural beauty, history, and culture of Hawai'i.

Paradise Helicopters is continuously expanding its operations and seeking qualified candidates who would like to join the Paradise team. As a locally owned company, we are community-minded and donate time and products to the local community. At the same time we are also excited about sharing the beauty of our islands and making dreams come true for our guests from all over the world. If you are looking for an occupation that includes working in a team environment while directly dealing with guests, Paradise Helicopters may have the perfect job opening for you.
 
 Responsibilities and Duties include but are not limited to:
Ensuring high levels of customer satisfaction through excellent customer service
Loading and unloading passengers from the helicopters
Deliver FAA Safety Briefings
Occasionally driving a van to escort guests
Remain knowledgeable on products offered and discuss available options
Collect payments
Control internal and external telephone/radio calls
Calculating accurate fuel amounts
Flight tracking/following
Team player

Color Me Bad

9/14/2021

 
I’m a butting artist!
​

Picture

THE LETTER:

Picture

THE JOB:

Illustrator for Coloring Books
Fritzen Publishing LLC
$30 an hour - Part-time, remote

Full Job Description
We are searching for an illustrator to make line-art for coloring books.

About Us
Our company publishes coloring books for grownups with a variety of themes (eg. animals, flowers, patterns, fantasy). View our existing coloring books - https://JadeSummer.com.

Education
Having a college degree in art is not required, but preferred. We need someone with a strong foundation and comprehensive understanding of art.

Experience
You must have at least 5 years experience as a professional illustrator. Experience making coloring books is not required, but appreciated.
​
Our ideal candidate would be the following:
Talented - Able to create incredible line-art which is irresistible to customers.
Trustworthy - Never plagiarize or infringe on the copyrights of other artists.
Creative - Able to make original artwork and not only "recycle" ideas.
Passionate - Empowering customers to be artists is more than just a job.
Flexible - Work independently and collaboratively.
Tech Savvy - Proficient with artist software, such as Adobe Creative Suite.

<<Previous

    Author

    I'm just your average girl who wants a kick-ass life and... love! If I could be a superhero, that would be AWESOME! I'm currently a "phone actress" looking for a really cool career. Don't get me wrong-- I love giving a hand to dudes who need someone to chat with. Everybody needs somebody! But, my parents keep telling me I need a respectable job.  Sigh.

    Archives

    August 2022
    July 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018

    Categories

    All
    Acting
    Action
    Actor For Live Science Shows
    Ad Astra
    Advice
    Africa
    American Cruise Lines
    Animation
    Art
    Aspen Skiing Company
    Associate Producer
    Astrology
    Astrology Writer
    Babysitting
    Bad Babysitting
    Baseball
    Bay Colony Railroad Corp
    BDM
    Beauty Advisor
    Bedroom Photo Shoot
    Bestbet
    Bilingual
    Bingo Caller
    Bird In Hand
    Birds
    Blake Street House
    Blowjob
    Bookkeeping
    Boudoir Photographer
    Brand Ambassador
    Budder's
    BuzzFeed
    Cake
    California Water Service
    Candles
    Capgemini
    Career
    Career Advice
    Career Opportunities
    Career Opporunities
    Careers
    Career Tips
    Cartoon Character
    Celebrity Reporter
    Cemetery Sex
    Chauffer
    Checker
    Children's Scriptwriter
    Children's Storyteller
    China
    Chuj Translator
    Church Choir
    Church Singing
    Club Dj
    Coachella
    Columbia Services
    Computer Design
    Conductor
    Confused
    Content Creator
    Country Club Life
    Cover Letter
    Cover Letter Writing
    COVID-19
    Crack Wise
    Crayons
    Cream Sticks
    Crimson Interactive
    Cruise Director
    Curatedcare.com
    Curator
    Curator Of Asian Art
    Customer Service
    Dance
    Dancing
    Dbet
    Delivery Drivers
    Demo Singer
    Denver Art Museum
    Disc Jockey
    Discovery Education
    Doggie Style
    Dog Walker
    Donuts
    Dotdash
    Doughnuts
    Driving
    Droga5
    Editor
    Elite Daily
    Employment
    Employment Opportunities
    Escape Room Attendant
    Event DJ
    Eye Care
    Eye Care Center
    Facial Expressions
    Fairytale Event Productions
    Farm Broadcaster
    Farm Life
    Fellowship
    Festival Clothing
    Festival Fashion
    Festival Life
    Film Making
    Financial Planning
    Fitness Coach
    Floral Design
    Floral Designer
    Floral Design Jobs
    Flowers
    Flute
    Football Data
    Fragrance Associate
    Freedom Financial Network
    Fritzen Publishing
    Funformation
    Game Night
    Game Of Thrones
    Game Playing
    Getting Out Of Debt
    Ghost Tour
    Girl ExtraOrdinaire
    Grass
    Gratitude Officer
    Ground Crew
    Guest Relations
    Hair Stylists
    Halloween Scare Actor
    Handjob
    Handjobs
    Haunted Tours
    Hawaii
    Helicopters
    Hip Hop Music
    Historical Performer
    Hong Kong At Faneuil Hall
    Hospitality Industry
    Hot Dog Eating Contest
    IEDM.com
    IHeart
    Illustrator
    Independent Media Institute
    Influencer
    Ingenuity Live Inc.
    Inland Empire Escape Rooms
    Innercity Weightlifting
    Job
    Job Advice
    Job Hunt
    Job Hunting
    Job Openings
    Jobs
    Job Search
    Job Searh
    Job Tips
    Kathy Vogel
    Kid Experts
    Laura Makenna Photography
    Lesbians
    Life Goals
    Lifeguard
    Linguista International
    Looking For Work
    Los Angeles Country Club
    Mad Scientists
    Marketing
    Marriage Helper
    Massage Chair Bus Tours
    Massage Therapist
    Meteorologist
    Meter Maid
    Meter Reader
    Milk And Honey Boudoir
    Millenial Life
    Millennial Challenges
    Millennial Life
    Millennials
    Misunderstood
    Mobile DJ
    Models
    Money Matters
    Motor Vehicle Representative
    Music
    Music Teacher
    Need A Job
    NEST New York
    Nickelodeon
    Oak Grove Technologies
    On-camera Personality
    Optical
    Orchestra
    Order Filler
    Paradise Helicopters
    Park Ranger
    Party Host
    Pearl Necklace
    Perfume
    Pet Sitting
    P.F. Candle Co
    Phone Actress
    Phone Sex
    Physicians' Answering Service
    Private Driver
    Professional
    Pube Style
    Publicist
    Publicity
    Quiche
    Radio
    Rappers
    Rave Life
    Remote Work
    Research
    Reservation Agent
    Resume
    Resume Advice
    Resume Help
    Resume Tips
    Retreat Assistant
    Rich People
    Rio And The Rockabiliy Revival
    Rockabilly Singers
    Role Playing
    Rural Life
    Saitre
    Satire
    Seaman
    Semen
    SendThanksNow
    Sensei Wellness
    Sheep
    Silverspun Theater
    Singing
    Ski Lift Attendant
    SmashNet
    Social Media Manager
    Sofi Stadium
    Spa
    Sports Reporter
    Spying
    Stage
    Story Teller
    Subject Matter Expert
    Surveillance
    Suzi
    Talent Manager
    Theater
    THE GUILD
    The Kash Agency
    The Scotts Miracle-gro Company
    The Sherard Show
    TikTok
    Toto
    Tour Guide
    Tractors
    Train
    Train Crew
    Translator
    Trivia Host
    Trombone
    Tulips
    Twerk
    Twilio
    Unemployment
    Use Good China To Get What You Want
    Vaccine Scheduler
    Valleyfair
    Video Girl
    Video Hoe
    Visionworks
    Voice Work
    Walmart
    Water Park Ranger
    Web Design
    Wedding Cake Baker
    Wedding Photographer
    Weightlifting
    Wildlife Technician
    Work
    Work Life
    Writing

    RSS Feed

         JOIN THE FUNFORMATION                      MOVEMENT!
    And don't worry. We won't spam you or sell your info. We don't have that kind of time... or motivation. 

Subscribe to Newsletter

Get Crack. Wise. 

Tired of bad news? Yes. Wanna make that pink thing between your ears happy? Yes. Then make sure www.crackwisemag.com is a part of your daily life. 

Reach Out and Touch Us:

  • Home
  • Shop
  • Funformation
  • Conley's Corner
  • O. D. F.
  • Gen CW
  • Thoughts of Mom
  • About
  • Contact
  • Wise Archives
    • The Wise Files/Shame Nation
    • Wise Archives/Suzi Speaks
    • Wise Archives/Eats n Sips
    • Wise Archives/Sounds
    • Wise Archives/Style
    • Wise Archives /Wellness
    • Wise Archives/ETC.