the crack files:
Suzi sPEAKS
Just an average girl looking for her dream gig. Hit me up at: [email protected]
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I love old people! They smell like pudding. Public Speaker Singrly by Tony Vaudeville Talent – Seattle, WA $30 - $40 an hour/Part-time, contract Tony Vaudeville Talent is a talent agency specializing in providing arts engagement activities for seniors in retirement communities. We are seeking new talent to add to our roster. Working with us is a great way to market your talents without paying for advertising or profiles on sites like C’List or G’Masters. We handle photos, video, and promotion. You just show up on time and deliver a really great show! Actor/Reader: Part-time reader sought for weekly group work with seniors in memory care, assisted living, nursing care and independent living settings. Candidate must possess a strong interest in working with people who are living with dementia and related conditions and be able to adapt the service to meet the individuals involved in the program To be considered candidate must be: A talented voice actor able to perform dramatic readings of short stories and novels Able to imaginatively use music and foley techniques to create an engaging performance. Suzi's Cover Letter:Dear Old Time Lovers, I was really close to my gramps. He was the only one who really understood me. I vented a lot to him about my stupid tramp sister. Maybe this is why I’ve always loved older men… I used to volunteer at nursing homes and visit with the old folks. They just needed someone to talk to. I left there after confusion over that one day when I showed up in a bikini. Mr. Pappas said I reminded him of his wife, and how pretty she was, and how they used to swim a lot together. So, I just wanted to make him happy. You know? I don’t regret what I did… I’d do it again. #ElderLivesMatter Jell-O and Juice Boxes, Suzi I’m a total Trekkie! Host/Khans KoachGenghis Grill – Reno, NV $9 - $12/hour – Part-time As the Host/Hostess, you must make the Fan feel welcome. You are the first person to greet the Fan when they arrive. You should provide a cheery greeting and make each and every Fan feel "special." For some, it will be their first time visiting Genghis Grill so it is up to you to make them feel at ease. A Fan may have had a hard day at work; and now wants to relax; a Fan may be celebrating a special occasion or it may be a family that just wants to enjoy a good meal. Whatever the reason, you are the Host/Hostess who sets the tone for the Fans’ visit. You can answer any and all questions and fulfill their needs. You must keep your energy level and enthusiasm up. You are the first person a Fan sees so greet the Fan with a welcoming smile. The Fan’s first impression of our restaurant is you. All incoming Fans must receive a friendly, sincere greeting while the door is held open for them (If time allows). As the Host/Hostess, you are also the last person the Fan will come in contact with. When the Fan leaves, open the door for them, thank them for choosing Genghis Grill, and invite them to return. Provide the Fan with a good last impression of our restaurant. Our Hosts/Hostesses are successful because of TEAMWORK. In order for a team to function effectively, it must be guided by certain basic principles. The information, instructions, and philosophies in this manual are the basic principles to which you will be expected to adhere. Suzi's Cover Letter:Dear Genhghis Gangstas, I’m such a Trekkie, and working here would combine two of my loves—Star Trek and food! The Wrath of Khan is my favorite of the Star Trek movie. Ricardo Montalban was a bad, bad, boy—but so dreamy! Plus, I’ve been a hostess before. I’m really good. But I got fired from my last hostess gig because I was too friendly. Whatevs. Beam Me Up Scotty, Suzi Anything with beer is so fun! Brewery Events Coordinator Baxter Brewing Company – Lewiston, ME Baxter Brewing Company is looking for a versatile Events Coordinator to organize and execute events that will make an impact on target audiences. We want to see enthusiastic candidates with fresh ideas and the organizational skills required to help us reach new audiences as well as create deeper loyalty among Baxter fans. We’re seeking someone who is a natural-born people person and an incredible communicator. You throw parties people can’t stop talking about. You find interesting people, picture-perfect places and create clever details with ease. You’re happiest with a run-of-show clipboard, juggling both the big picture and the most granular details. You ensure events are successful, paying attention to budget and time constraints. RESPONSIBILITIES Create and execute concepts for marketing and PR events in the field and at the brewery, which includes a wide variety of charitable and experiential events/festivals, from pre-planning to day-of execution. Partner with Brand Managers on developing compelling event concepts, marketing strategies, creative materials, props and promotional items. Collaborate with the Pub team on developing marketing events at the brewery to increase visits, sales and customer engagement. QUALIFICATIONS One to three years of previous professional experience in special event planning and management. A love of craft beer and an understanding of brewing and beer styles is strongly preferred. Ability to work both independently and as part of a team, as situations demand. Suzi’s Cover Letter:Dear Good Yeast Supporters, If I was never meant for something, it’s me and brew! (Get it? Instead of me and you, me and brew?) I have always been the go-to person to plan parties amongst my peeps. I’m so great with people and getting them together! I love crowds and I love beer! Like, I can win any drinking contest hands-down… and not puke! My best party was Beerfest ’15. OMG! The whole block was down. We had a 100-yard beer dash. Barrel Roll—how far can you roll in a barrel. BeerButt—smash a can of beer between your butt cheeks, then someone drinks it. And, we had a thing for charity: “Cans 4 Cans”. Donate money for breast cancer awareness and get a can of beer! Bonus: only one person got hurt at our party. Hops-ing to Meet You Soon, Suzi Christmas and boats!?!?! I can't contain my excitement!!!! Christmas Ship DeckhandsArgosy Cruises – Seattle, WA This is a seasonal position with an expected last day worked of January 5th 2020. Position Summary: A Deckhand at Argosy Cruises is responsible for tasks ranging from furthering the vessel to providing extraordinary guest service to guests on board. The primary duty of a deckhand is to assist the Captain in monitoring the vessel and ensure the safety of guests while onboard Argosy vessels and docks. In addition to the safety sensitive duties, deckhands participate in bartending, cocktailing, and cleaning of the vessel. Essential Job Functions: Responsible for following the directions of the Captain with regard to the safety and security of the vessel Responsible for following and executing Hospitality Standards in order to provide an extraordinary guest experience Responsible for following the Open-Close books for every shift to prepare the vessel for daily operations Responsible for selling food, beverage, and gift shop items to guests Job Requirements and Qualifications: Ability to speak, read and write in clear English Ability to competently perform basic math functions- add, subtract, multiply and divide Pass a DOT drug test from the United States Coast Guard Physical Requirements: Lift 25 pounds Step down from a slow-moving platform, with a 3-foot step Climb over barriers 3 ½ feet high Suzi's Cover Letter:Dear North Pole-ers, Do you know who much I love Christmas? Like, a whole super lot! I am a total Christmas chick! I have been since I was little. I have the best decorations and the best outfits ever! And, I love boats. That helps. I have so many ideas: We could light up the boat in red and green. We could have random mistletoe stations. When the boat is a rockin’… Santa and his naughty elves cabaret show! A giant stocking slide! Don’t you just love these!?!?! No Coal in Our Stockings, Suzi P.S. I don’t like Dippin’ Dots, so I’ll totally pass that test. I love artichokes. They’re so yummy! Casino Board PersonArtichoke Joe’s – San Bruno, CA Casino Board Person Do you have a positive attitude and excellent communication skills? Are you goal oriented and Customer Service driven? Are you looking for an exciting opportunity with career advancement? This job is for those who are serious about a long term Casino Career within a stable growing environment! Artichoke Joe’s Casino has been around for over a century. We take pride in providing an enjoyable gaming experience for all our patrons and a positive teamwork driven environment for our employees. We welcome all individuals with a friendly outgoing personality to join our team. More importantly, someone who understands what it takes to keep customers coming back. Job Duties/Qualifications Greet and provide services to customers with a smile. Consistently exhibit an upbeat and positive attitude. Work with Floorman and Chip Sellers to identify and fill open seats efficiently. With the use of a microphone, call players for open seats and new games, in an understandable, properly modulated voice. Answer customer questions about casino facilities. Provide information to customers about special events and promotions currently being offered. This job starts at $20/hour plus tips!! We offer a competitive benefits package including Medical, Dental, Vision and Life Insurance as well as vacation and sick Pay. Suzi’s Cover Letter: Dear Fellow ‘Chokers, So, gambling and artichokes? What a winning combination! See what I did there? I’m great at hosting stuff. I’m the life of the party. And, I’m the queen of strip poker. I always have my clothes on at the end of the night. Suckas! And, I have the best spin-artichoke dip recipe. I would love to make it and hand out samples while people are playing! Chips (poker) & Dips, Suzi |
AuthorI'm just your average girl who wants a kick-ass life and... love! If I could be a superhero, that would be AWESOME! I'm currently a "phone actress" looking for a really cool career. Don't get me wrong-- I love giving a hand to dudes who need someone to chat with. Everybody needs somebody! But, my parents keep telling me I need a respectable job. Sigh. Archives
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