the crack files:
Suzi sPEAKS
Just an average girl looking for her dream gig. Hit me up at: [email protected]
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I have been dreaming of my wedding since birth! Bridal Stylist Brandi’s Bridal Galleria – New Glarus, WI 54574 $11.50 - $13.40 an hour – Part-time Join Wisconsin’s fastest growing, trendy, award winning bridal salon! Winning "Wisconsin's Best" for 13 years running means offering service, selection, and an experience for our bride that is second to none! As one of the Midwest's largest, independently-owned bridal salons, Brandi's Bridal Galleria, Etc. is seeking energetic, hard-working people who love to sell fashion-forward bridal apparel and enjoy a fun, teamwork environment. Immediate positions: full-time, part-time, and/or weekend only. Multiple positions available. We are very flexible with student class schedules. Weekend availability is a must. Brandi's offers a great opportunity for personal growth, experience, and professional skill building. Great new things are happening at Brandi's gorgeous 12,000 sq. ft, “state of the art” bridal salon. Come be a part of the team that is changing the face of bridal forever. Brandisbridal.com Responsibilities: Guide the bride in selecting the perfect bridal gown and accessories by applying your knowledge of bridal apparel Assist bridal parties in selection of their wedding apparel from bridesmaids, moms, Prom dresses, tuxedos. Floor product merchandising to keep our cutting-edge trends presented well. Product preparation including pressing and pricing of merchandise. Work as a Team Player to ensure each customer receives the best service possible. Engage the customer in creating a fun and memorable experience. Resolve a customer’s challenging situation and frustration with clear direction, confidence, and kindness. Any other activities deemed necessary by management: i.e. cleaning, inventory. Suzi’s Cover Letter: Dear Brides-to-Be Helpers, I’m obsessed with Say Yes to The Dress and Four Weddings. And even Bridezillas! Like, I want to get married a lot so I can wear a jillion dresses. I love brides and think every chick is perfect and beautiful on their special day—even the fat ones. Who could think a bride is ugly? Well, maybe my sister. Because she has an ugly soul. And no dude is stupid enough to marry her. She’s just a depository—if you know what I mean. Happy Tears & Happy Tiaras, Suzi P.S. And I would truly love to move to Wisconsin because I love cheese! I can be in charge and stuff! Head of Audience, USA News Corp – New York, NY Job Description: Title Head of Audience, US Department The Sun Online Reports to Director of Audience The Sun - biggest newsbrand and News Website of The Year in the UK - is launching in the US, with ambitious plans for growth. We need an experienced Head of Audience to run our US audience operation. Purpose of role You’ll be responsible for spearheading our audience growth strategy - leading a growing team of audience editors, building relationships with distribution partners, and working with the editor to ensure we’re writing about the right things and developing strategies to grow our loyal and engaged audiences and brand. Your team’s work will include posting to social media, growing social accounts, giving editorial SEO advice, content and event planning, and audience analytics. You’ll lead them in ensuring they beat all of our traffic targets with a mix of your own creative thinking, ambition and getting your hands dirty. Suzi's Cover Letter:Dear Nielsens, I am all about leadership. So being in charge of an audience is right up my alley. I was in drama in high school, and I totally always had the audience in the palm of my hand. I was going to go to NYC for acting, but my sister got pregnant with her third child from her 4th boyfriend, and she needed help. So… I’m great with social media. And I think sex sells, so look for lots of pics of me in my bikini. And I’m a good writer, to. Like, I almost wrote Twilight. The Sun Shines Here, Suzi I am so creative. Like, so... Freelancer Jewelry Designer Elite GNY - New York, NY Contract Jewelry and Watch Designer $25/hour We are looking for a Freelance Jewelry & Watch designer for top fashion company in New York City. This individual will be responsible for assisting in technical designing for the jewelry team. Responsibilities: Develop and execute product designs that achieve overall product strategy. Participate in research and development of seasonal trends. Ensure designs meet merchant line plans, assortment strategies and overall creative direction. Prepare and finalize technical drawings of proposed product to be used for production. Adhere to design calendar and deadlines. Suzi's Cover Letter: Dear Jewel Rulers, I have so many ideas about jewelry. I used to make my own bracelets in school. All the cool girls wore my stuff. We had a little group of fashionistas led by yours truly. My big idea is crowns. We need to wear crowns more often. Not just for weddings and bachelorette parties, and pageants, but like, all the time! I would design a Grocery Shopping Crown, a Football Sunday Crown-- even Going-to-the-Gyno Crown! And, just so you know-- crowns are for dudes, too. Any age can wear one. Can you imagine the cute baby crowns!?!?! Here are some of my totally cool designs:  Forever Royal, Suzi I can read books on Thai food and make money!?!?! Thai Novel Proofreaders Nyoi Bo – New York, NY Contract Our well-established novel translation company is looking for Proofreaders (fluent in Thai and English) to proofread top English novels that had been translated into Thai, catering to readers all over the world. We have more than 400 talented freelancers working with us and scouting for more. This is a long-term position for suitable candidates. Requirements: Previous proofreading, editing experience preferred but not required and willing to be trained You need to be fluent in Thai and English Suzi’s Cover Letter: Dear Pad Thai-ers, Asian Cuisine is da bomb! But I do love some Thai food in particular. It’s unique. I could get down on some Pa-Nang Curry Beef, or some Lo-Mein. Or anything coconut. And to be able to read about it, and cater Thai food to readers all over the world!?!? International Suzi! Pho Sure I’m Your Gurr, Suzi |
AuthorI'm just your average girl who wants a kick-ass life and... love! If I could be a superhero, that would be AWESOME! I'm currently a "phone actress" looking for a really cool career. Don't get me wrong-- I love giving a hand to dudes who need someone to chat with. Everybody needs somebody! But, my parents keep telling me I need a respectable job. Sigh. Archives
August 2022
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