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​Suzi sPEAKS

Just an average girl looking for her dream gig. Hit me up at: [email protected]

    JOIN THE FUNFORMATION MOVEMENT! 

    ​And don't worry. We won't spam you or sell your info. We don't have that kind of time... or motivation. 
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Queenche

10/27/2020

 
​I’m the expert on all things brunch!

Quiche Interpreter

Linguistica International – Tuscaloosa, AL
Remote/Contract

Full Job Description
At Linguistica International, we meet any type of language service needs, including telephone-based interpretation, on-site interpretation, and written translation. Our services are available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year and our qualified professional interpreters cover over 350 languages and dialects.

Responsibilities:
Receive client-calls and answer in a professional manner

Render correct concepts and meanings between requested language and English, upholding correct rules of grammar, clarity, and tone, from one language into another

Provide clear and accurate renditions with no additions or omissions

Employ good customer service and clear enunciation, pronunciation, pleasant and professional voice as well as polite forms of expression

Remain calm during emergency calls

Ensure access to the Internet for work-related to electronic communication

Follows client’s instructions, manage the flow of the call and avoid taking over the call, as well as avoids having side conversations with the limited English speaker

Qualifications:
Native, or near-native, fluency in requested language and English

Ability to explain cultural concepts to avoid miscommunication, and to act as a cultural broker

Ability to concentrate, stay detached from the conversation and remain neutral and objective at all times while following the client’s instructions closely

Excellent listening, retention and note-taking skills to maintain a high level of accuracy
​
Knowledge of industry-specific terminology; on-going study of glossaries and training materials including scripts provided by our clients

​Suzi’s Cover Letter:

Dear Quichers,

My pops said there was this belief once that “real men don’t eat quiche”. Like, why? Quiche is so yummy. In fact, I’ve made it my mission since childhood to make delicious quiches and get my pops to eat them – which he did—and he LOVES THEM. And he’s a real man. So, winning!

My favorite quiche is this sausage hashbrown quiche that I like to serve with biscuits. I make an awesome green chile quiche that I serve with hot sausage and salsa. I love mini, crust-less quiches.

I am a pro! So, I can identify any quiche you need me to.

Eggs in a Pie Crust,
Suzi


Check Me

10/20/2020

 
​I used to be a checkers champ!

Checker

Watco Companies – Texas

Are you looking for a career in a fast-paced environment in the most exciting industry in the world where the opportunities for growth and learning are endless?

If your answer is yes, then come be a part of the Watco team!

Not only do we offer industry leading benefits, competitive pay, vacation and 401k, we also have a top of the line training program, Watco University, to educate our team members and help them to grow their career to the next level.

Description:
Discusses the next day’s workload with the company department manager to place the labor order for drivers.

Informs of number of drivers needed.

Dispatches Mule Drivers according to work flow.

Manages logistics for all per diem cargo orders to expedite load or delivery.

Assesses export cut offs for cargo to meet ship out deadlines.

Manages all warehouse clerks to monitor production.

Communicates via 2-way radio with drivers, clerks, warehouse personnel, security guards and warehouse manager to coordinate logistics of warehouse.
Inspects all containers to verify that they are in good condition for turn in. Reports damages to maintenance department.

Receives and enters production documentation from clerks.
​
Required Safety Gear must be worn at all times to include: Safety vest, steeled-toe shoes, and hard hats must be worn on terminal or in yard.

​Suzi’s Cover Letter:

Dear Double Jumpers,

Who doesn’t love checkers? You may think you’re good, but I’m the champion. In fact, I won a regional checkers competition when I was 10. I have the trophy if you want to see it some time. I prefer the red checkers, but I can win with the black ones, too.
​
I think it’s really cool that you want a uniform for your checkers people. I think there should be a professional checkers team with uniforms and it should be an Olympic sport. Maybe we could lead the way. I can design the uniforms! So many ideas…

Checkered Mates,
Suzi


Creamed

10/13/2020

 
​Me and Homer Simpson love the same thing—donuts!

​Donut Tour Guide

Underground Donut Tour – Chicago, IL
Part-time/$25 an hour

Underground Donut Tour is Hiring!
Are you a people person who loves donuts? Do you love showing off your city? Are you looking for a low stress job that feels like you're just hanging out with friends? If so, you might be right for this position.

The Underground Donut Tour is currently hiring in Chicago. In business for over 5 years, the Underground Donut Tour is quickly becoming one of the country’s most popular food tours (Chicago, Philadelphia, New York, Portland and Seattle). A two hour walking food tour that stops at several of the best donut shops in downtown Chicago.

In order to apply for this position, you should be:
Self-motivated and ready to try new things

A friendly, jovial person with a positive attitude

Able to meet, greet, and speak in front of groups with ease

An excellent communicator who can clearly enunciate and project your voice

Able to think on your feet and adapt to different situations quickly and easily

Able to keep a groups attention and entertain/educate them with fun facts about the tour and your city

Able to interact with various types of people and personalities with ease

Able to work weekends, and potentially Thursday or Friday as needed

Able to follow a specific routine/path to ensure consistency and quality of the tour experience

Able to present yourself in a positive, well-groomed manner to project an enjoyable, family friendly brand for the Underground Donut Tour

Comfortable standing and walking for 2+ hours while leading the tour

Legally authorized to work in the US

Additional items that are preferred, but not required:
You work in tourism, hospitality, theater, entertainment, comedy, or a related industry

You have easy access to your own transportation or public transportation, so you can pick up tours on short notice
​
You have some knowledge about donuts, pastries, confections, or other desserts

​Suzi’s Cover Letter:

Dear Donutters,

Do I love donuts or what!?!? I eat them. I make them. I buy them… and there isn’t a cream stick I won’t shove in my mouth. The donut, too! I’m really good with people, and I when I was little, I pretended to be one of the girls on The Price Is Right that looks all bangin’ and knows how to show off the products. It’s like it’s meant to be!

Plus, all that walking around will burn off the calories eating all those yummy donuts. So this is a fitness thing and a food thing, which is fantastic!

P.S. One time I made a doughkini—a bikini made from donuts—for a party. Let’s just say it was a hit!
Glazed and Confused,
Suzi


Matrix Claus

10/6/2020

 
​OMG! Christmas is the bestest holiday ever!

​Digital Santa Claus

Santa Calls – Phoenix, AZ
Contract/$75 an hour

Full Job Description
This year Christmas will be different, and the magic of the Santa and North Pole is making its debut over the internet. With malls closed around the nation, Santa's (work) home is in quarantine. It's a good thing Santa's nifty elves hammered away on the mobile application, Santa Calls. By using Facetime, and Zoom technology children all over the nation will still be able to talk to a real, live Santa Claus.

Join our team and help us make children smile and feel the magic of Christmas. We are dedicated to giving every child an opportunity to believe this Christmas.

Requirements:
Pass Background Check
Good communication skills
Positive attitude, warm smile, welcoming voice
Must enjoy interacting with children and families
Real Beard, Excellent personal hygiene
Ability to sit for long periods of time
Full Santa outfit
 
By contracting with the Santa Calls team you will be paid on a per-call basis working only part-time. You will represent the company as Santa from the North Pole.

Your duties will be to manage a call queue list and make Facetime, or Zoom calls to families and children for 2-minutes. During the call, you will be required to gather key information from the child, such as name and what they want for Christmas.
​
It is important to make this experience magical for the child. Not all children are very talkative, you must be able to adapt to adversity. Have readily available books, jingles, or stories to tell.

​Suzi’s Cover Letter:

Dear North Polers,

Christmas is my favoritest holiday! Like, I want to have Christmas stuff all year, but I don’t feel like being shamed about it, so…

I always wanted to be Santa Claus, because Santa brings so much joy into the world! And, I think anyone can be Santa—even a chick—because it’s about your heart. It’s not about race or gender. And, I think Santa needs to recognize adults, too. I’ve dressed up as Santa many times for video chats with my male clients. They were very pleased with my fishnets and leather boots and red lingerie. Imagine how I could inspire others? So many North Poles, so little time…

Spreading legs and love,
Suzi


    Author

    I'm just your average girl who wants a kick-ass life and... love! If I could be a superhero, that would be AWESOME! I'm currently a "phone actress" looking for a really cool career. Don't get me wrong-- I love giving a hand to dudes who need someone to chat with. Everybody needs somebody! But, my parents keep telling me I need a respectable job.  Sigh.

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