the crack files:
Suzi sPEAKS
Just an average girl looking for her dream gig. Hit me up at: [email protected]
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I love the word liaison. It sounds fancy—like me.  Reservation & Guest Experience Agent THE GUILD Full-Time: From $15/hour Full Job Description: Our goal...to craft incredible experiences for people that love to explore while enjoying the comforts of home. The Guild offers the comfort and convenience of a high-end apartment with the personalized service of a boutique hotel. We believe traveling in comfort is more than someone making your bed while you’re out or delivering room service while you’re in. It’s feeling at ease. Relaxed. Your role: The Guest Experience Central Team is a high volume inbound contact center environment going above and beyond to provide Guild guests with a step-above world class experience. A successful agent must display both strong communication skills with computer literacy and exceptional guest service abilities to assist the guest beyond the transactional experience to a transformational guest experience. Our agents are empowered to own the guest relationship to maintain industry leading NPS of 80+. You will be responsible for (mostly) inbound contacts via text, phone, email, etc, and possess the ability to work through multiple systems to assist guests quickly, and with quality. What you’ll do: Handle inbound guest contacts across multiple channels and tools (phone, email, sms, chat), primarily responsible for making reservations and answering guest questions. Effectively communicate with guests to exceed their expectations with your guidance, knowledge, patience, and issue resolution Assist guests at each step of the customer journey to ensure a streamlined, positive experience resulting in promoters and repeat bookings Treat our guests as friends first to make every stay perfect and offer up your city knowledge at every opportunity (suggest authentic city favorites, foods, and hot spots) Identify and take action on/make suggestions for guests based on your research into their reservation or inquiries Suzi’s Cover Letter:Dear Secret Agents, This job is my heart: quality customer experiences! Like, I totally do that now. I mean, I don’t schedule cool vacays anywhere for people, but I do create a getaway, fantasy world for them. It will be nice to travel outside the mind for once. And who doesn’t love a vacation? I’m all about making sure the customer is happy from start to finish. I never leave my phone clients hanging. I want to know that I’ve fulfilled their desires and that there is always a happy ending? Isn’t that what it’s all about? The cherry on top? Plus, being a comfort woman is kinda in my blood. There was that thing in history where the Japanese made other Asian women sex workers for their men. But this is obvs more positive because I’m choosing to do it. Here to Please, Suzi Entertaining is in my blood like soy sauce! Mobile DJ Part-time: $16-$40/hour Full Job Description: Love music and people? Then this may be your dream job! Michigan top-rated mobile DJ & MC entertainment service is looking for someone to infuse high energy and excitement into each and every event. Get paid to work and have fun at the same time! Learn more about our company here: www.stealthdjs.com Who we're looking for: Must be located in southeastern Michigan, preferably west of I-275. Reliable transportation is required. Must be available on all or most weekends. Excellent communication skills are a must. You must be a very reliable, energetic and outgoing person with a great personality. Preferred but not required: Vast music knowledge, dance skills, experience in public speaking and/or the ability to lift at least 40 pounds. What you'll be doing: The job of an MC / Crowd Motivator / DJ Assistant is to perform the duties of MC (master of ceremonies) for bar/bat mitzvahs, weddings, parties and school dances. You will be talking on a microphone in front of a crowd, provide high energy enthusiasm while motivating and encouraging people to dance, take requests, lead group/specialty dances, coordinate details with clients and other event vendors, host games, set up/take down equipment, load/unload equipment, take photos of guests and help the DJ with any other tasks. If you meet all of these requirements, you just may become a member of Stealth DJ's. Get paid to work and have fun at the same time! Training will be provided. After training, pay starts at 20% of total event contract price, which is equivalent to $16-$40 per hour. Your work schedule will vary greatly throughout the year. It will be depend on demand. This emcee job is ideal for anyone interested in fine arts, communications, media arts, broadcasting, television, radio, entertainment, music, dance, theatre or any other public speaking occupation. Also great for an up and coming entertainer, dance instructor, radio dj, radio disc jockey or radio personality. Suzi's Cover Letter:Dear Party Animals, If I had been alive in the 70s, I would’ve totally been a disco whore—let’s party! I mean, I know how to have a good time, and that means others will have a good time. That’s why I’m always invited to parties, because I am the life of the party. In fact, people invite me to boring stuff like funerals because I always find a way to bring the fun—even in death. Some old dudes have even said I bring their old wood to life. Isn’t that so sweet? I’m a natural emcee. I used to have a show on my high school radio station. I called my show Asian Invasion. It was popular. Let’s Get This Party Started, Suzi P.S. Did I mention that I want my rap name to be Wonton Wrappa? Get it? Cuz I’m Asian… I have a very creative mind! Escape Game Attendant Inland Empire Escape Rooms - Riverside, CA Part-Time: $13-$15/hour Full Job Description: Inland Empire Escape Rooms in Riverside is Hiring! At our Game Center Guests schedule their 60 minute game to get locked into our themed rooms. Players must solve puzzles and find clues and manipulate objects if they have any hopes of escape before time runs out. Visit us on YELP to get an idea of what we expect for customer service. We are hiring for the Game Master position. Key responsibilities include: Greet our guests Present tips for success and rules Give the "backstory" to the unique scenario they will be playing Monitor the in-room cameras to track players’ progress Provide "in character" interaction with the players Debrief the players following the game Reset the room for our next group Also expect to do light cleaning, phone answering, and other tasks needed to provide our guests with an exceedingly great experience. Customer service is super important, as our business relies on word-of-mouth and getting great reviews across social media channels. Our GMs must have: A friendly warm personality Ability to get in character based upon scenario to run games The ability to work on their own and use their initiative As well as the ability to harmoniously work with others Confident technical skills to perform simple repairs, replace bulbs and fuses etc. Confident voice, able to command attention and speak clearly Suzi’s Cover Letter: Dear Role Players, This job so speaks to me. Seriously. I’m an actress already. And role playing is totally what I’m all about. I can make any client feel like they’re the sexiest, hottest dude in the world. And they think they’re spending some chat time with the sexiest, hottest chick in the world (I am hot)—even when I’m wearing my period panties and shoving ice cream in my face. My point is, I’ve got a fertile mind. I can come up with stories so quickly. Another of my fantasy jobs is tabloid reporter, cuz all that stuff is fakey fake. And in school, I always got good grades for my creative writing. My one teacher said I was detached from reality, and I’m all like: “Yeah. Right? Cool.” Masked and Whipped, Suzi I’m good with charts and stuff. Vaccine Scheduling WFH Gig Live Reps Call Center/Remote Full Job Description Live Reps Call Center is hiring for a vaccine scheduling project. Do you qualify for the Rapid Response Team? All shifts, 7 days a week, short or long term available… your choice. You must commit to completing all shifts you request. Must have a strong internet connection. Must have a quality PC i3 CPU or Better with 4GB OF RAM minimum and good computer system knowledge. No tablets, Mac’s, etc… must be a PC. You will need to pass a Standard Criminal Background check Knowledge of Microsoft Office and Excel a plus. Voice Over IP dialer experience helpful, but training is available. Must have a place to work in your home without disruptions or background noise. Job Types: Contracted Project - 9 months with 2, 6 month extensions possible Payment Rate: $10 to $12 per hour Suzi’s Cover Letter: Dear Flow Charters, I am totally 100% behind this. I know some people are all scared of getting vaccinated, but if you’ve had a couple of one night stands, you’ve been pricked with worse! Let’s get pricked! Since I’m Asian, I’m really good at organizing stuff. And these skills have been really helpful in my current not-real career of phone actress. I have a schedule of when each client needs my attention, what they like and don’t like, and any other notes. It’s important to be on top of things (that’s what he said), so I know I’ll be a natural fit for this job. Stickin’ and Winnin’, Suzi This is right up my… alley. Assistant Boudoir Photographer Milk and Honey Boudoir - Akron, OH Job Type: Part-time/Contract $50-$150/hour Responsibilities of Contractor include but are not limited to the following: taking pictures of details, and people holding and/or carrying lighting and other equipment directing & artistically posing people independently capturing moments of the day attending to other photography-related details promoting "Milk & Honey" on social media (Facebook, Instagram, etc.) This Job Is Ideal for Someone Who Is: Dependable -- more reliable than spontaneous People-oriented -- enjoys interacting with people and working on group projects Adaptable/flexible -- enjoys doing work that requires frequent shifts in direction Innovative -- prefers working in unconventional ways or on tasks that require creativity Suzi’s Cover Letter:Dear Bedroom Beauties, OMG! I do bedroom pictures all the time. I mean, I have pro lighting and the best outfits. That’s really helped my own business grow. So, I would take that knowledge and help you all out. I feel so comfortable in the bedroom, and I want to learn more about picture stuff. I comfortable around all kinds of people, and I can bring out the best in anyone. Some people are shy, but once they hear me talk—they’re like pudding in my hands. Thought I usually only entertain on the phone, there are times when I will meet in person with a client. Sometimes they have picture fantasies, and I help them out. So fulfilling. Lights, Camera, Coochie, Suzi I love to show and tell! Personalities/Characters/Tour Guides Massage Chair Bus Tours, LLC - Dallas, TX Job Type: PT $17-$20/hour plus tips If you have charm, charisma, energy, a good driving record and enjoy people loving you for taking them on a tour of the city in a high-end massage chair, then apply for this job! If you do not have any stage, acting, singing, entertaining performance, please do not apply for this job. Your job is to entertain 6 people on a tour with your performance background. Pay: $34 a tour - (1.5 - 2 hrs) TIPS!!!! TIPS!!! TIPS!!!! TIPS!!!! TIPS!!!! Being a tour guide means building a relationship with your guests and taking them on a journey...when you do this in the right way… the tips can be amazing!!! Most of the facts given during the tour are from a voice recorded tablet so there is very little memorizing of a script involved. You need to be comfortable driving a 6 passenger, 22' long, E-450 Shuttle Bus. We offer two types of tours and we will be needing three drivers to cover various shifts. You will be wearing a purple tailed tuxedo. IT IS HIGHLY IMPORTANT YOU SEND YOUR RESUME WITH A NICE COVER LETTER (A FEW SENTENCES) AS TO WHY YOU WOULD BE A GOOD FIT FOR THIS JOB. WE CALL PEOPLE WHO SEND COVER LETTERS ABOVE OTHERS AS THEY WANT THE JOB MORE. Suzi’s Cover Letter: Dear Journeymen, My grams used to go on bus tours all the time for some old lady fun. Sometimes, she’d take me. So. Much. Fun. All the old men would give me candy and money. Maybe that’s why I have a special place in my heart for my clients that are older. Anywho, my favorite thing to do is to make people feel welcome. I was voted Most Likely to Be an Escort in high school because I love to show people around. But I don’t know why that didn’t make the yearbook… Plus, Journey is my favorite band! Don’t Stop Believing that I’m the right person for the job. Don’t let us go our Separate Ways without interviewing me, first. I will welcome the opportunity with Open Arms. Don’t let the Lights go down without hiring the best—me! Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’, Suzi I can see myself on stage, and not in a stripper way. Historical Performer Plimoth Patuxet – Plymouth, MA Job Type: Full-time Full-time and part-time positions available in this new position for our new Museum Theatre program. Historical Performers portray 17th-century people in timed, scripted or semi-scripted, immersive productions that will be performed multiple times a day. Aspects of this production will include but are not limited to scripted scenarios, plays, hands-on activities, and storytelling. The Historical Performer must have a talent for as well as experience in performance and improvisation while being comfortable interacting with a diverse audience of all ages. The Historical Performer must be able to take cues from a director, memorize lines and blocking, and improve their performance based on feedback. They also must learn and retain a foundational amount of 17th-century historical information. The production will be built upon historical research and a foundational script. There will be situations where the Historical Performer must improvise with audience members. Some of the blocking and script will be devised through the rehearsal process. Participate in additional acting performances/shows including but not limited to 1 person shows, scripted dining experiences and online performances for schools and other groups. Maintain proper use and care of props, costumes and scenic design. Wear and use voice amplification devices. Provide a friendly and welcoming presence for all guests and coworkers throughout the Museum. Adhere to the policies of Plimoth Patuxet Museums as outlined in the Museum Employee manual and current job description. Other duties as assigned This outline description focuses on the primary duties of the position. It is not designed nor intended to include all duties and responsibilities inherent in satisfactory performance of the position. Management reserves the right to revise this job description from time to time as needed. Fluent in English. Have a firm understanding of immersive theatre, improvisation, and the theatrical process Able to deliver an engaging, consistent performance multiple times a day Able to perform in an outdoor environment for an extended period of time Able to read and memorize lines, take stage directions, and improve performance based on feedback from director Able to problem-solve while interacting with guests during performance Able to learn and complete 17th-century demonstrations and activities Able to learn and perform a 17th-century dialect Able to learn and perform period music and dances. Flexible, resilient and growth mindset Have an engaging and creative personality with excellent interpersonal skills. A positive, can-do attitude and sense of humor is essential Reliability, dependability and punctuality Fluency in English, strong verbal skills, and ability to communicate clearly and engagingly with guests and colleagues. Ability to work independently, without direct supervision. Must be able to read and understand a variety of historical and educational sources. Suzi’s Cover Letter: Dear Historical Hotties, The stage has always been my calling. I was the lead in a Christmas play when I was 8-years-old. I played Mary. It was an advent guard production. I mean, it wasn’t supposed to be that way, but I guess people got all upset when I kissed Joseph. How else is a baby supposed to show up? I had to show love, right? From there, I was in a high school musical. Which was my last because I don’t think musicals are for me. I’m more of a pure drama type. And I did really well in history class. Like, Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1792. And that Game of Thrones happened after the Civil War. And Lord of the Rings was the time of the disciples. Cool stuff. Where’s My Spotlight, Suzi I’m yummy. I like yummy things… So, perfect! Tasty Talent ResidentBuzzFeed – Los Angeles, CA Salary :$18 an hour/PT Full Job Description Tasty's Talent Residency is a program for aspiring on-camera personalities, TikTok/Reel-ers and YouTubers with a passion for viral storytelling and content creation. This entry-level opportunity is perfect for someone looking to kickstart a career in the entertainment, food media, acting, comedy, TikTok-er, digital creator or influencer space as an on-camera talent/content Creator driving personal and BuzzFeed social growth. As a BuzzFeed Resident, you'll work with innovators in the talent space and forge your own relationships with TikTok, Reels, YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitch audiences! The Residency is an entry-level, part-time, $18/hour, 3-9 month-long program, approximately 3 days/20 hours per week, launching in early March!Our screening process opens now, and selected candidates will be asked to self-tape followed by a video call interview, and finally, a remote screen test with our Casting and Talent Teams. Suzi’s Cover Letter:Dear Buzzers, If ever I was meant to be something, it is this. I was meant to be exposed to the masses. That’s why I did those movies. I mean, you gotta start somewhere. And, I’m really good on the socials. That’s one way I’ve been able to generate so many more phone clients. But I feel my life should mean so much more. And that’s why TikTok fame is my destiny. Seriously. TikTok is Chinese, and I’m Asian. See? Plus the camera loves me. And I want to influence people in a positive way, like: Stay away from creepers, know that you’re awesome, and that you should pet cats more. Daughter of Destiny, Suzi Let me grab my whip! Role Players Oak Grove Technologies Fort Jackson, SC Overview: Where creative minds gather…. Average need not apply…. Oak Grove is anything but your typical government contractor. We pride ourselves on our outside-the-box approach to solving customer challenges. We are seeking ‘A Team’ players to continue writing our success story. We are a smaller mid-size company that is growing, profitable, forward thinking and always ready to tackle the next challenging situation our clients face. We have repeat customers because they trust us. Who are they? Sometimes the Government, sometimes the Military, sometimes the commercial world but ALWAYS happy and satisfied. We're focused on providing the best end-to-end training solutions available—and we need the best the industry has to offer. Why? Oak Grove’s readiness training has a stellar international reputation for excellence, we team with top universities to advance cultural development programs, and our award-winning eLearning solutions and training programs outshine the competition. Your work will be challenging and your performance will be recognized and rewarded. Our entrepreneurial-minded team thrives in a fast-paced, fun environment where there are always opportunities to learn something new. We attribute 10+ years of success to the quality of our amazing team, our energetic leadership, and our commitment to excellence and customer happiness. We are proud to be a leading Service-Disabled Veteran-Owned Small Business becoming a mid-size company. We are headquartered in Raleigh, NC as well as an office in the National Capital Region. Responsibilities: Oak Grove Technologies is looking to hire Role Players in Fort Jackson, SC. A Role Player must ‘live’ the part and freely adapt the character in response to how the student reacts to a situation. It is impromptu acting ‘in role’ as the training situations develop. Shall observe student activities and provide oral and written feedback Shall attend a briefing prior to the execution of each training event, and an after action review at the conclusion of each training event, and daily in/out briefings. Act out assigned roles as enemy persons or civilian non-combatants in accordance with assigned scenarios. At times, role players may be required to perform numerous roles or other roles in support of the exercise depending on exercise requirements (i.e. a role player may be required to play an enemy combatant as well as the role of a civilian on the battlefield [COB]); simulate combat activity by exhibiting behaviors appropriate to the role and by firing blank ammunition; or perform rudimentary light infantry tactics. Suzi’s Cover Letter: Dear Thespians, I was meant to do this. For realz. So many reasons! First of all, politicians have been my best phone clients. That one County Councilman sure loves butt stuff! He called me a lot! I saw that you need members for your A Team, which is perfect, because I was in a Cinemax-type after-hours movie called “The Ahhh Team.” I know what it takes to be on top! And the role playing is what my phone job is all about. Stepping into a part to make the client happy. Isn’t that what it’s all about? Star of Phone and Bone, Suzi I have a great eye for talent! Talent Manager THE KASH AGENCY Salary: Up to $7,000 a month Full Job Description We are looking for an experienced talent managers within the entertainment industry to manage talent and development of deals. We work primarily within the space of TikTok. With a huge presence in the music industry, TikTok has developed some very unique business avenues for emerging TikTok Stars. In this position you will work extensively with brands, record labels, talent agents, & talents from across a variety of Nichès. We service the music industry heavily. Producing over 100 videos a month for music industry artists & executives, our creators make sure their fans never get bored on the App. This job is ideal for people looking to enter into the entertainment industry and or work this field as extra endeavor. This job also has a extremely high potential to very much be a full-time job. We close 20-30 deals a month and generate 10-20 leads a day ranging from Brands to Labels interested in our services. With such consistency in our flow of business it makes the process of acquiring deals as a manager almost inconsequential and or seamless. Responsibilities Oversee the day-to-day business affairs of the talent/artist Advise and counsel talent concerning professional matters, long-term plans and personal decisions which may affect their career. Effectively close deals for the talent. Utilizing entertainment industry relationships to help further talents career Project manage event-related campaigns including but not limited to vendor and freelancer management Build strong relationships with strategic event organizers in the region Partner with other agencies to develop media plans and performance driven creative solutions that result in effective, breakthrough communication around our monetization products/solution Build marketing Campaigns for record labels (Both independent and mainstream labels) & Top brands such as (Bang Energy, Monster, Fashionova, Ethika, Etc.) Skills Proven work experience as a talent manager Track record in designing and executing successful business plans Familiarity with traditional and modern entertainment industry business practices Excellent communication and leadership skills Ability to plan, multi-task and manage time effectively Strong writing and record keeping ability for emails and keeping track of deals Good computer and database skills Pay: Up to $7,000.00 per month Suzi’s Cover Letter: Dear Star Watchers, There was a time when my sister wanted to be a model, so I managed her career. Which flopped. But that’s not my fault. She decided to pump out 4 kids from 3 different dads and got fat af. Anywho, I had to deal with her bitchy ways and managed not to kill her, so I can deal with any kind of diva. Plus, I love music and I once had a couple of rap songs out. The videos did well. We were all in bikinis rappin’ and having some drinks, and the sun was out. I’ve always been a part of the entertainment business, so why not be a boss bitch? Managing is Everything, Suzi |
AuthorI'm just your average girl who wants a kick-ass life and... love! If I could be a superhero, that would be AWESOME! I'm currently a "phone actress" looking for a really cool career. Don't get me wrong-- I love giving a hand to dudes who need someone to chat with. Everybody needs somebody! But, my parents keep telling me I need a respectable job. Sigh. Archives
August 2022
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