the crack files:
Suzi sPEAKS
Just an average girl looking for her dream gig. Hit me up at: [email protected]
|
Math. I’ve got this. Duh! BookkeeperAccounting for Jewelers – Tennessee $15 - $20/hour, Full-time, Part-time Position Overview: Accounting for Jewelers, LLC is currently seeking a staff Bookkeeper to work with a roster of 18 - 20 clients. For this role, we’re looking for someone who has accounting experience, is tech-savvy, and servant-hearted. This is a part-time, work from home position. Hourly rate commensurate with experience. No benefits offered for part-time employees, but there is existing opportunity for the right candidate to go full time and take on more responsibilities not listed here. Part Time Probation and Training Period. Full Time Potential. Flexible Hours. Suzi’s Cover Letter: Dear (Word) Problem Solvers, If anything were more genetically meant to be, this is it. Hello! Asians and math are like oil and water! Like cats and dogs! Plus, I love jewelry. So counting carrots and stones are, like, perfect for me. I’m very good with jewels. I wear them. I fondle them to get some jewels. It’s all good. Plus, I helped one of my clients keep things off the books, so…I can do that for you, too. And, not only can I add stuff up, but I could model your jewelry too. I could wear gold paint and you could put the jewelry on me! Like two jobs from one person! Me! Bling and Bookkeeping, Suzi Let me rock, ya, Chaka Khan! Script writer / Voice over SHAKAWEAR – Los Angeles, CA Remote/Contract Looking for a gifted individual with script writing and voice over experience to write, edit storyboards, video scripts and other documentation for a streetwear company located in Los Angeles. Ideal candidates can tackle the process of discussing many facets of the apparel/streetwear industry by creating short videos and performing the voice over. You will work as part of a team of apparel experts and graphic designers to develop the training videos. Must have strong writing experience, sense of humor, a strong work ethic and a team player. Suzi’s Cover Letter: Dear Rattlers, I am all about shaking and rattling. I’ve been a fidget my whole life, and I got some juice in the streets. Everybody knows Suzi S and what I’m about. Which is keepin’ it real on the DL. Fo shizzle. I’m known for my style and my can do attitude. And I talk good and stuff. I do have phone acting experience and my results are always A+. I know that being an influence is something I can do in my sleep, but since this is all active and stuff I won’t be sleeping on the job. Plus, I’m so pumped that Chaka Khan has her own shapewear. She’s booty-tastic and so cool! Shaka, Rattle and Wear, Suzi OMG! I love Toto! Associate EditorAssociate Editor, Africa Remote/Contract About Us Our news team covers the most meaningful issues in the world, from eradicating malaria and polio to fighting climate change to ending poverty in our time. Our news team gets to know some of the most inspiring leaders in the world, from heads of state to celebrities to philanthropists to aid workers making a difference on the ground. Our journalists and editors produce original news stories, features, interviews, investigations, multimedia projects, OpEds, and online events and have a sustainable business model to do it. Professionals at NGOs like Save the Children, CARE, and the Gates Foundation rely on us to be in-the-know. Job Description About You Do you have at least five years of journalism and editing experience? Are you based in the Africa region and willing to work remotely? Are you an energetic editor who works well across time zones on a variety of topics? Are you excited to be a part of a global, mission-driven company that has an open, teamwork-focused culture? Read on. You're ambitious, detail-oriented, and have an open and collaborative attitude. You thrive in an environment where you're responsible for your work (but you get the support you need). You are a reliable multi-tasker who can smoothly juggle working with reporters and freelancers in a variety of locations who are writing about diverse topics, as well as taking on reporting projects of your own. You know the best way to explain complicated stories and are always looking to uncover new talent. Suzi's Cover LetterDear African Africans, I listen to that Yacht Rock station all the time when my mom’s in the car, cuz that’s her music. Something about one night with Bobby Preston in his backseat with something about “pink” and “stink”. Whatever. Anywho, mom said I was conceived while she was listening to “Africa” and I guess that’s why I love that song, cuz it’s in my jeans! I love everything about Toto and Africa. I could write all kinds of stories about it: the drums echoing through the night; the rains; moonlit wings; wild dogs cry out in the night. I’m perfect for this job! I can even draw a picture of Africa in my sleep! Kilimanjaro Rising, Suzi I love hair! Anywhere! Lady Jane’s Haircuts for Men Lady Jane’s Haircuts for Men – Birningham, MI What is Lady Jane's? We are an industry leader in the world of men's hair-cutting, and have been for the past 15 years! In that time, we have successfully opened more than 100 locations across the country, won countless men's styling awards, and provided incredible experiences for thousands of stylists and their clients! What are we looking for? We are looking for passionate, driven, team-players, who are looking to build a huge clientele and be an industry leader! We set stylists and barbers up for success by offering high level marketing, and growth potential within Lady Jane's corporate structure. Wicked Awesome Perks of LJ: -You Choose the Days You want to work -Clientele provided through aggressive marketing in TV, radio and print -Industry leading percentages make it easy to make great money -Creative, upbeat, fun environments -Express your individuality and run your own business -Endless advancement and relocation opportunities within Lady Jane's corporate structure Do you have what it takes to be a superstar? Suzi’s Cover Letter: Dear Coif-ers, I am a fan of hair. I was always styling my Barbie’s and all my friends. So, I know stuff about hair styling. I’m a natural! Speaking of natural, I think we ladies need to re-take the muff and re-grow that taco lettuce. I would love for us to be the pioneers in snatch styling and bring hair bag en vogue. I’ve been styling mine for a while, and I could offer all kinds of muff makeovers.  I think we should let our hair down, for realz! Afros Before Hoes, Suzi |
AuthorI'm just your average girl who wants a kick-ass life and... love! If I could be a superhero, that would be AWESOME! I'm currently a "phone actress" looking for a really cool career. Don't get me wrong-- I love giving a hand to dudes who need someone to chat with. Everybody needs somebody! But, my parents keep telling me I need a respectable job. Sigh. Archives
August 2022
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed