the crack files:
Suzi sPEAKS
Just an average girl looking for her dream gig. Hit me up at: [email protected]
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Marriage is a wonderful thing!  THE LETTER: Dear Coupled, Marriage is important, and I want to help keep people together. I had a friend whose wife wasn’t satisfied in bed, so I joined them and showed them what each one likes, you know, new techniques—and it helped their marriage! Sometimes I join them to make sure everything is still okay. And I’m great at spreading… the word about stuff. I wasn’t voted Most Outgoing for nothing! Let me be all oral for you! Hopeful for Hope, Suzi THE JOB: PublicistMarriage Helper Job details: Salary: $50,000 - $65,000 a year Job Type Full-time/Remote Full Job Description About us Marriage Helper has a GLOBAL mission: to save marriages and strengthen families. Over the past 20 years, the workshops and courses that our team has created have a 70% success rate at saving marriages — even the marriages literally everyone else has given up on. We work with marriages that are affected by: Affairs, control, addiction, communication issues, lack of intimacy…the list goes on. We’ve seen it all…Even marriages that have been divorced for up to 10 years! Here’s what we are looking for: Someone who wants to come on board and help us spread our message of hope FAR and WIDE! The Position: Make Marriage Helper a household name through consistent and key placements in popular media as well as highly aligned media outlets Pitch interviews, op-eds, articles, podcast guest placements, radio interviews, and more for Kimberly Holmes and Dr. Joe Beam Develop a PR strategy and pitch plan that aligns with Marriage Helper’s goals and audience Promote the success of the Marriage Helper organization to business journals Key advisor and project manager for PR strategy Make sure all placements and mentions are in line with Marriage Helper branding and tone The goal is to increase awareness of the Marriage Helper brand and drive traffic to the MarriageHelper.com website and phone calls Develop creative ways to keep Marriage Helper in the news Find timely headlines, identify the right media markets and contacts, and pitch in a timely manner Cultivate and maintain media relationships Write press releases and quotes for media, being well-versed in Joe and Kimberly’s content and voice Coordinate with internal team members and external media contacts to direct seamless interviews from start to finish Create media lists and strategies for campaigns Help Marriage Helper leaders grow in their media interview skills by providing regular feedback and media training The Candidate: 3–5 years of on-the-job experience in PR, publicity, or a related field (preferably more) You’re passionate about the world of PR that means you think in terms of the news cycle and you’re interested in all types of media (broadcast, print, podcast, radio, and online) Experience in booking clients on large media outlet shows, placed in high-traffic news sites, and more. You have personally researched media outlets and contacts, written a pitch, made a pitch, successfully procured media, and cultivated the relationship from start to finish by yourself (not just worked on a team or supervised a team that did all the pieces of the process) You’re great at working with people, and you’re highly collaborative You’re able to multitask and prioritize assignments while maintaining flexibility in a fast-paced environment You’re professional and confident when interacting in person, in writing and on the phone with people you haven’t met You meet deadlines without sacrificing quality You’re an excellent writer Degree in public relations, communications, journalism, marketing or another related field I see this happening! THE LETTER: Dear For Four Eyes, Everyone in my family wears glasses, except me. But I sometimes wear them. I love how cool glasses look. Especially dudes with glasses. I find they’re smart and quirky. They’re not big in the pants, but they have better overall skills. I see people for who they are and want to help them see better! Yay! Seeing Clearly, Suzi THE JOB: Optical Specialist Visionworks - Elyria, OH Job Type: Full-time Full Job Description Want to bring the “care” back to the vision care industry? We're looking for charismatic types who are ready to be the heart of our brand. Whether it's a friendly voice over the phone, or a welcoming smile when a patient walks into your store, we need individuals who are passionate about helping customers look great and see great. The Role: A Visionworks Optical Specialist is the very face of our business and is dedicated to ensuring the best possible journey for every patient and customer. This person is trained and knowledgeable about optics, our products/services and managed vision care. The Sr. OS personally takes the patient/customer through the Visionworks experience ensuring their eyewear needs are met in a simple, human and bold way. Delivers daily sales goals by ensuring the best execution of the Customer/Patient Experience journey Engage with patients/customers and recommend products and services that meet their eye care needs Measure patients/customers for their eyewear and maintain product/optical knowledge through cont. training and development to ensure eyewear is Right the First Time Execute day-to-day operational activities to support the store's financial and customer experience goals including restocking inventory, merchandising, and order fulfillment of eyewear to ship Qualifications: 1 Related customer or patient experience preferred, but not necessary HS diploma, GED or equivalent related job experience What we offer! At Visionworks, we offer a generous, competitive benefits package (for our part timers, too!) and exclusive employee discounts —including but not limited to Vision Coverage) Paid Parental Leave Bereavement Leave 401 (k) Savings Plan Paid Time off Milestone anniversary awards Medical, Dental for Full Timers And more! I love singing! Especially in the shower! THE LETTER: Dear Hymnsters, I sang in the choir since I can remember. I recently left church singing because this one THOT said I was horrible and we wrestled in front of the altar and the pastor got mad. Up until then, I was great. I helped arrange the songs, and I can play a little organ. Here’s what my singing is like. Nailed it! Wine and Holy Water, Suzi THE JOB: Singer Trinity Episcopal Church King of Prussia, PA Job details Salary: $100 an hour Full Job Description Trinity Episcopal Church, King of Prussia (https://www.trinitygulphmills.org/), is seeking a singer familiar with liturgical music with a strong voice to lead hymn singing and responses at worship each Sunday morning from September. Generous compensation for the right applicant plus mileage allowance. I’m a natural Van Gogo! THE LETTER: Dear Amorous Animators, I’m usually the kind of person that’s in the forefront, but my background is fine, too. That’s what he said (wink, wink.) My drawings are pretty cool. I almost went to school for art and stuff, but I was rejected. Art is subjective and not everyone can vibe me. Here’s a sample of my art: I could be one of the greats. Stroking However, Suzi THE JOB: BACKGROUND PAINTER Nickelodeon Animation - Burbank, CA Job Type: Full-time Full Job Description For over 30 years, the Nickelodeon Animation Studio continues to be one of the largest producers of television animation in the world, reflecting all kids today. Based in Burbank, Calif., with offices in New York, the Studio, designed by our artists and for our artists, is home to the world's greatest creative talents. Our campus of creativity houses top-notch talent, storytellers, artists, production teams, voice actors, cartoon experts and more. At Nickelodeon, we are always looking to recruit dedicated craftspeople to help bring groundbreaking new ideas to life and that starts with you! We are leading the way in animated content for TV series, TV movies, shorts and theatrical features. Some of our new upcoming original animated series include, Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years, Rugrats, Middlemost Post, Star Trek: Prodigy, Big Nate and Santiago of the Seas, among others. Our content development teams are creator-driven, our work culture is collaborative, our mentorship of new talent is second to none, and we are committed to hiring inclusively to reflect authenticity in the diverse stories we want to tell. Join us! Summary Paints backgrounds, layouts and any other background-related art that the production may require, ensuring style and quality of show is met. Responsibilities Meet with creative supervisor(s) to ensure color needs of show are fulfilled. Follow instructions of supervisor. Complete all color work within assigned deadlines. Resolve color problems with creative supervisors. Ensure all deadlines are met. Communicate progress of work to appropriate production staff. Ensure all artwork is accurately backed up and stored appropriately. Ensure all shipping materials are prepared and ready on time. Be available for questions until your department’s shipment is complete. Review storyboard for background key color callouts. Assist with special projects. Fulfill other color projects, including but not limited to color lead sheets, color script and/or color pass on storyboards. If applicable, scan backgrounds and adjust digitally as necessary. Qualifications Must demonstrate proficiency in style of show. Strong knowledge of Color theory and lighting. Knowledge of or willingness to learn applicable Color software and hardware. Strong time-management skills. Work well under pressure. I’m very influential! THE LETTER: Dear Followers: I’m very influential, so I could totally teach and spot potential influencers. I’m a budding influencer myself, after spending my whole life getting people to do what I want. It’s a gift. One time in high school I wanted my own car, but my parents wouldn’t get me one because they gave one to my sister because they felt bad because she was 16 and preggo. Bitch. So, I convinced this nerdy pimple-face guy to give me his car and he did! Influencing! People Be Sheeple, Suzi THE JOB: Influencer & Talent Manager Ingenuity Live Inc. Remote Job details Salary: From $50,000 a year Job Type: Full-time Full Job Description Role and Responsibilities for Account Manager Talent Prospecting Meeting prospective talent to be the voice of Account Management Talent Onboarding Onboarding Call - Survey completed Review of socials Gathering of documentation - headshots, previous or current agreements Assess previous/current opportunities for brand and media Assess current goals, challenges General housekeeping: update contact information in ZOHO Obtain sizing Content for media kit Confirm our processes (what to expect) with IL Non Negotiables Update IL Website Liaise with IT for systems updates per talent Schedule and facilitating Talent 313 Talent Support Scheduling Media Brand deliverables Internal Meetings Events Attend weekly Op meetings Host Deliverable meetings Tracking packages as required Set up Cameo / OnlyFans / Exclusive Sites as required Set up Merchandise as required Follow up with outstanding receivables with Finance Create Media Kits 313 Monthly/Quarterly/ Yearly follow ups |
AuthorI'm just your average girl who wants a kick-ass life and... love! If I could be a superhero, that would be AWESOME! I'm currently a "phone actress" looking for a really cool career. Don't get me wrong-- I love giving a hand to dudes who need someone to chat with. Everybody needs somebody! But, my parents keep telling me I need a respectable job. Sigh. Archives
August 2022
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