the crack files:
Suzi sPEAKS
Just an average girl looking for her dream gig. Hit me up at: [email protected]
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I’ve got great hand technique! Night Milker Washington State University – Pullman, WA The Farmer 2 position will be responsible for milking approximately 150 Holstein cows in a double 5 herringbone parlor once per day. The duties of the position include, but are not limited to: performing daily, weekly, and monthly periodic maintenance; daily cleaning and repair of milking and milk storage equipment; daily cleaning of parlor, holding pen, maternity and hospital areas; organizing and maintaining inventory of parts and materials related to the milking process; training and directing students in the proper operation of the milking facility and animal handling in the parlor; identifying and treating udder health problems; assisting cows in parturition; working with researchers in the gathering of milk samples and experimental data; and performing other duties as assigned. This position will alternate shifts every 3 months. The day shift works from 6:30 am to 3:30 pm, while the night shift works 9:30 pm to 6:30 am. Position Term in Months 12 Monthly Salary $2,599.00 Suzi’s Cover Letter: Dear Moo Moos, I loved chocolate milk a lot when I was a little girl. I never drank plain old white milk. Now, I’m a little lactose intolerant. But chocolate milk is still in my heart. I can still sample stuff for you! I think I’d be great as a night milker because I do my best work at night. And I have a good grip. And I’m good with animals. They love me like Snow White (milk). See what I did there? Got Milk? Suzi I've got great ball handling skills! Assistant Softball CoachWilliston State College – Williston, ND Salary: Commensurate with Experience Status: Seasonal Reports to: Head Softball Coach Summary The Assistant Coach is responsible for assisting the Head Coach in recruiting, planning, coaching, scheduling opponents, training team members, and managing all aspects of the softball program for Williston State College. Responsibilities Assist the head coach in formulating a successful philosophy to promote the educational welfare and sportsmanship of the student-athlete. Assist the head coach in preparing a yearly budget for the softball program purchases. Assist in arranging softball travel for team and recruiting. Assist in developing fundraisers to improve the softball program. Minimum Position Requirements: At least 1 year of softball coaching or playing experience. Bachelor’s degree preferred. Knowledge, Skills, and Abilities Required: Strong computer skills. Skill in preparing a budget. Ability to work with a diverse team in a fast-paced environment. Ability to stay abreast of current and developing trends (video, voice, data, and computing technologies). Enthusiasm and the ability to thrive in an atmosphere of constant change. Suzi’s Cover Letter: Dear Softballers, I played a lot of softball with my Gramps growing up. And I organized the neighborhood team. And from there, I started a team when I worked retail. We were called Forever Strikes because I worked at Forever21. I could totally assist for you. Plus, one time in college I had a brief summer *thing* with Misty on the softball team. Good times… He Kisses Her on the Strikes, She Kisses Him on the Balls, Suzi I’m Asian, so Ninja-ing is in my blood! Actor Blind Ninja Dinner Challenge – Columbus, OH Part-time, $11.00 - $11.01/hour **Interactive Dinner Theater** We are putting on a long running (multiple years) Dinner In The Dark concept that uses actors as the main focus of the experience. You will be dressed as a Ninja and will guide your guests through an exciting journey into the darkness where they dine on a 5 course meal and complete a series of challenges set up by your character. With your stage acumen, improv experience and knowledge of how to produce a show, you will compliment them on their actions and your dramatic voice will guide them to the next stage of the production with enthusiasm. This is a very unique acting opportunity as the bulk of your lines are written on a script and you can read it in front of the audience as they are blindfolded and can't see you. This job has a high tipping potential as you will build a relationship with your guests and they have time to adore you and love the experience. Our performances are Friday and Sat. Nights at 6:00 and 8:30 pm. We need trustworthy individuals who can show up on time repeatedly and deliver great performances. If you are elected to work with us, we can also give you priority scheduling for our other high tipping acting events as well if you need more hours. Come get your Ninja on! www.blindninjadinnerchallenge.com Suzi's Cover Letter:Dear Silent Sleuths… I’m really good at doing things while keeping my eyes closed, so I hope you consider me. Because I’m not really blind. But I can fake it. I’m good at faking stuff. Plus, ninjas are invisible. So… Sneaky & Stealthy, Suzi |
AuthorI'm just your average girl who wants a kick-ass life and... love! If I could be a superhero, that would be AWESOME! I'm currently a "phone actress" looking for a really cool career. Don't get me wrong-- I love giving a hand to dudes who need someone to chat with. Everybody needs somebody! But, my parents keep telling me I need a respectable job. Sigh. Archives
August 2022
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