I’m related to some Chins! Chin Interpreter Linguistica International – Kansas City, MO Full Job Description At Linguistica International, we meet any type of language service needs, including telephone-based interpretation, on-site interpretation, and written translation. Our services are available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year and our qualified professional interpreters cover over 350 languages and dialects. Responsibilities: Receive client-calls and answer in a professional manner Render correct concepts and meanings between requested language and English, upholding correct rules of grammar, clarity, and tone, from one language into another Provide clear and accurate renditions with no additions or omissions Employ good customer service and clear enunciation, pronunciation, pleasant and professional voice as well as polite forms of expression Remain calm during emergency calls Qualifications: Native, or near-native, fluency in requested language and English Ability to explain cultural concepts to avoid miscommunication, and to act as a cultural broker Ability to concentrate, stay detached from the conversation and remain neutral and objective at all times while following the client’s instructions closely Excellent listening, retention and note-taking skills to maintain a high level of accuracy Suzi’s Cover Letter:Dear Chintzies, I can speak chin. Chins are very important to the look of someone’s face. A double chin is cute on a baby, but let’s be honest. You’re kind of a fatty if you have two chins. I can help people define their chin with makeup and slim their double (or triple—thanks, COVID) chin. Scarves are good for that. Or some shading. I’m also good with Chinese Chins, because my mom was a Chin before she married my dad—a Wang. Though I’ve heard my mom has had some wangs on her chin before, but... I’m thinking that has nothing to do with this job. But if it does, I can take one or two on the chin, too. Chinny-chin-chins, Suzi Clusters are good. They make me think of squirrels! Commerce Cluster Writers Dotdash – Remote About Your Role: As a freelance commerce updates editor for The Spruce, you will review and revise existing commerce articles in our content management system in order to elevate user experience, according to specific project instructions and brand guidelines. Updates commerce editors must commit to 20 hours weekly. About Your Contributions: You will research and perform revisions or updates to commerce content directly in our content management system as needed according to specific project instructions and brand guidelines. In some cases you will use your editorial instinct to independently assess what work is necessary on a piece of commerce content before performing an update You will fact check and copy edit on top of any larger revisions and updates. About You: You have a strong background in commerce writing with current industry knowledge and relationships. You’re always on top of new trends and products. Experience covering home improvement, pet products, appliances (large or small), or children’s toys a plus, but not required. You’re able to easily adopt an established brand voice, and you adhere to strict brand and style guidelines like a pro. You’re comfortable working in a content management system and can work quickly, independently and accurately. You are comfortable working remotely. Suzi’s Cover Letter: Dear C Effers, I have experience writing in catalogs. Okay. One catalog. Like, really one catalog only ever came out. It was for my bestie’s startup lingerie company. But then it didn’t happen and she just did an OnlyFans thing. But… I wrote some really good stuff. Here’s a sample: ENDLESS ECSTASY It's an artful orgasm wrapped inside a velvet bag. The Immortal Jade Glass Dildo is individually crafted and hand blown-- and guaranteed to blow your mind. A G-spot stimulator with spiral ridge, and three balls won't miss a single, delicious spot. Use warm or cold for whatever sensation you desire. 10-inches, 4.5-inch circumference (1.5-inch diameter); dishwasher safe; hypoallergenic; chemical and odor resistant; from the Glass Gem Collection. Right!?!?! Didn’t know I had it in me. I mean, I didn’t really have this in me… Oh—are there going to be work squirrels? Dottin’ and Dashin’, Suzi We’re all beautiful! I want to bring it out! Beauty AdvisorOVERVIEW Experience a place of energy, passion, and excitement. A place where the joy of discovery and uncommon artistry blend to create exhilarating buying experiences—for true beauty enthusiasts. At Ulta Beauty, we’re transforming the world one shade, one lash, one cut at a time. Because beauty is powerful. If you seek greater purpose—a place of vision, mission, and lived values—where voices are heard, contributions valued and recognized and growth opportunities abound, consider Ulta Beauty. Nowhere else are the possibilities quite this beautiful. THE IMPACT YOU CAN HAVE: Welcome to an exciting future in the retail beauty industry! As a Beauty Advisor at Ulta Beauty, you will be the first point of contact for our guest Beauty Enthusiasts, setting and exceeding their expectations for the beauty journey they’re about to experience within your store. As the initial face of the Ulta Beauty brand, you will have the opportunity to put your passion for beauty on full display, while ensuring that everything in the store is clean, fully stocked and ready to “wow” guests and other associates. Suzi’s Cover Letter: Dear Face Saviors, Ulta is like Heaven on Earth to me! I remember when one opened up near me—I cried. Tears of complete joy! Plus, I envision myself wearing that cool black smock with some booty-poppin’ jeans and smart, sassy heels. My hair in a classic French twist, and my makeup—of course—on point. I’m really good at doing makeup. All my friends asked me to be their beauty advisor, so It’s, like, natural that I do it and make money. Because paying me in wine is fun until the rent’s due, yo! This is some makeup I did for my friend Sara who had to go to court on some b.s. prostitution charge. She wanted a dramatic look, so... Beautiful Faces and Beautiful Queens, Suzi Math. I’ve got this. Duh! BookkeeperAccounting for Jewelers – Tennessee $15 - $20/hour, Full-time, Part-time Position Overview: Accounting for Jewelers, LLC is currently seeking a staff Bookkeeper to work with a roster of 18 - 20 clients. For this role, we’re looking for someone who has accounting experience, is tech-savvy, and servant-hearted. This is a part-time, work from home position. Hourly rate commensurate with experience. No benefits offered for part-time employees, but there is existing opportunity for the right candidate to go full time and take on more responsibilities not listed here. Part Time Probation and Training Period. Full Time Potential. Flexible Hours. Suzi’s Cover Letter: Dear (Word) Problem Solvers, If anything were more genetically meant to be, this is it. Hello! Asians and math are like oil and water! Like cats and dogs! Plus, I love jewelry. So counting carrots and stones are, like, perfect for me. I’m very good with jewels. I wear them. I fondle them to get some jewels. It’s all good. Plus, I helped one of my clients keep things off the books, so…I can do that for you, too. And, not only can I add stuff up, but I could model your jewelry too. I could wear gold paint and you could put the jewelry on me! Like two jobs from one person! Me! Bling and Bookkeeping, Suzi Let me rock, ya, Chaka Khan! Script writer / Voice over SHAKAWEAR – Los Angeles, CA Remote/Contract Looking for a gifted individual with script writing and voice over experience to write, edit storyboards, video scripts and other documentation for a streetwear company located in Los Angeles. Ideal candidates can tackle the process of discussing many facets of the apparel/streetwear industry by creating short videos and performing the voice over. You will work as part of a team of apparel experts and graphic designers to develop the training videos. Must have strong writing experience, sense of humor, a strong work ethic and a team player. Suzi’s Cover Letter: Dear Rattlers, I am all about shaking and rattling. I’ve been a fidget my whole life, and I got some juice in the streets. Everybody knows Suzi S and what I’m about. Which is keepin’ it real on the DL. Fo shizzle. I’m known for my style and my can do attitude. And I talk good and stuff. I do have phone acting experience and my results are always A+. I know that being an influence is something I can do in my sleep, but since this is all active and stuff I won’t be sleeping on the job. Plus, I’m so pumped that Chaka Khan has her own shapewear. She’s booty-tastic and so cool! Shaka, Rattle and Wear, Suzi OMG! I love Toto! Associate EditorAssociate Editor, Africa Remote/Contract About Us Our news team covers the most meaningful issues in the world, from eradicating malaria and polio to fighting climate change to ending poverty in our time. Our news team gets to know some of the most inspiring leaders in the world, from heads of state to celebrities to philanthropists to aid workers making a difference on the ground. Our journalists and editors produce original news stories, features, interviews, investigations, multimedia projects, OpEds, and online events and have a sustainable business model to do it. Professionals at NGOs like Save the Children, CARE, and the Gates Foundation rely on us to be in-the-know. Job Description About You Do you have at least five years of journalism and editing experience? Are you based in the Africa region and willing to work remotely? Are you an energetic editor who works well across time zones on a variety of topics? Are you excited to be a part of a global, mission-driven company that has an open, teamwork-focused culture? Read on. You're ambitious, detail-oriented, and have an open and collaborative attitude. You thrive in an environment where you're responsible for your work (but you get the support you need). You are a reliable multi-tasker who can smoothly juggle working with reporters and freelancers in a variety of locations who are writing about diverse topics, as well as taking on reporting projects of your own. You know the best way to explain complicated stories and are always looking to uncover new talent. Suzi's Cover LetterDear African Africans, I listen to that Yacht Rock station all the time when my mom’s in the car, cuz that’s her music. Something about one night with Bobby Preston in his backseat with something about “pink” and “stink”. Whatever. Anywho, mom said I was conceived while she was listening to “Africa” and I guess that’s why I love that song, cuz it’s in my jeans! I love everything about Toto and Africa. I could write all kinds of stories about it: the drums echoing through the night; the rains; moonlit wings; wild dogs cry out in the night. I’m perfect for this job! I can even draw a picture of Africa in my sleep! Kilimanjaro Rising, Suzi I love hair! Anywhere! Lady Jane’s Haircuts for Men Lady Jane’s Haircuts for Men – Birningham, MI What is Lady Jane's? We are an industry leader in the world of men's hair-cutting, and have been for the past 15 years! In that time, we have successfully opened more than 100 locations across the country, won countless men's styling awards, and provided incredible experiences for thousands of stylists and their clients! What are we looking for? We are looking for passionate, driven, team-players, who are looking to build a huge clientele and be an industry leader! We set stylists and barbers up for success by offering high level marketing, and growth potential within Lady Jane's corporate structure. Wicked Awesome Perks of LJ: -You Choose the Days You want to work -Clientele provided through aggressive marketing in TV, radio and print -Industry leading percentages make it easy to make great money -Creative, upbeat, fun environments -Express your individuality and run your own business -Endless advancement and relocation opportunities within Lady Jane's corporate structure Do you have what it takes to be a superstar? Suzi’s Cover Letter: Dear Coif-ers, I am a fan of hair. I was always styling my Barbie’s and all my friends. So, I know stuff about hair styling. I’m a natural! Speaking of natural, I think we ladies need to re-take the muff and re-grow that taco lettuce. I would love for us to be the pioneers in snatch styling and bring hair bag en vogue. I’ve been styling mine for a while, and I could offer all kinds of muff makeovers. I think we should let our hair down, for realz! Afros Before Hoes, Suzi Doggies are so cute! Midday Dog WalkerMetropawlitan Petsitters - Alexandria, VA $15-$18 an hour, Part Time Do you have an open schedule during the day or on the weekends? Are you retired, stay at home parent, freelancer or a student? Are you looking for supplemental income? Would you love to work with pets while staying fit? This is may be the job for you. We are a professional pet sitting company looking for a team of part time dog walkers and substitute dog walkers, runners and pet sitters. We prefer candidates who live in close proximity to area in which you are applying for. We are currently looking for walkers in Arlington, Alexandria, Vienna and Fairfax. In addition to this, prospective applicants must: -Be a zoologist at heart -Have an undying love for animals -Be comfortable with groups of dogs and be skilled in animal behavior -Enjoy the idea of a flexible schedule -Can work independently -Be able to provide references and pass a criminal background check -Possess honesty, reliability, strong communication skills, common sense and good judgment -Demonstrate a keen ability to handle multiple tasks and details -Be adaptable - things happen. We need people who won't unravel when things aren't seamless. -Be in good physical health - You will be walking dogs and sometimes in the rain, sleet & snow! -Own a reliable, insured, registered and inspected car -Own a smartphone -Have a fluency of the Internet and can check e-mail daily and have reliable internet service -Willing to commit to at least 6 months Suzi’s Cover Letter:Dear Barkers, I love all things dog: chow, accessories, beds, -gy style! You can’t go wrong! And since I’ve babysat my stupid sister’s four kids at once, I can handle anything. Dog poo is nothing after a 7-year-old throws their poo at you. Plus, I have great fashion sense. So when we do the “dog walk”, all eyes will be on us! Woofs and Wags, Suzi I’m really good with gestures! American Sign Language Interpreter (ASL) The Stepping Stones Group is currently interviewing American Sign Language Interpreters like YOU for the 2020-2021 School Year! Join us in our mission to positively impact the lives of children and give a voice to those who need it most. If you're new to the school-setting, we've got you covered with first-class clinical support and our Foundations Mentoring Program. How we support & invest in your career: Dedicated clinical manager Professional development stipend Bridge Academy Complimentary access to our CEU Library Live CEU events monthly Foundations Mentoring Program Online resources & tools Professional certification offerings Benefits made for you: Full time, part time, local contract and travel eligible positions - nationwide Student loan repayment plans Full health benefits Health & wellness spending stipend 401(k) and More! Job Requirements for American Sign Language Interpreters: EIPA Score with AL License Full Time; New Grads Accepted Suzi's Cover Letter:Dear Finger Fellows, I learned sign language as a kid, and I was good! I need a refresher course, but I can probs get that on YouTube. I love kids, plus I can wear the cutest jewelry to accent my hands while signing. Let’s kick this up a notch! Signed (get it!), Suzi I’m no Chelsea, but I’m a handler! Mascot Handler Southern California – Part-time Job Title: Shieldy Handler Location: Southern California Classification: Part-time (Non-exempt) Position Overview: USA Water Polo is seeking an outgoing, organized and motivated candidate to serve as a handler for its official costumed mascot, Shieldy. In this position, individuals will gain hands-on experience within and across a diverse set of game day promotional roles and functions, including theme night marketing and promotions, fan engagement and on-deck entertainment. This position is part-time, on an as-needed basis aligning with the USA Water Polo 2020 events calendar. Responsibilities: Escort and accompany Shieldy while performing game duties and designated off-site appearances. Aid Shieldy and guide them throughout games and other relevant events. Act as the “eyes, ears and voice” for the mascot performer, including awareness of game progression, in-game run of show, fan requests and potential hazards. Carry mascot supplies (autograph cards, giveaway items, etc). Assist mascot performer with preparation and execution of on-field routines, giveaway tosses and provide logistical support during games and appearances. Serve as a fan liaison by providing exceptional customer service, including taking pictures, improving overall guest experience, etc. Ensure that Shieldy is ready and appropriately dressed before entering the public. Support the maintenance of Shieldy’s outfit, communicating necessary suit repairs. Provide Shieldy feedback in order to ensure that Shieldy’s satisfying fan, guest and customer expectations. Maintain a positive attitude and consistently greeting fans and guests. Increase fan engagement by interacting directly with fans and guests with enthusiasm and excitement. Qualifications: Must be able to work flexible hours, including afternoons, nights and weekends, as scheduled. Individual must be comfortable approaching fans, have strong communication skills and a confident demeanor in order to help our team create a fun and lively game day atmosphere, strong improvisation skills a plus. Ability to work well under pressure, in a high activity and heavily crowded venue for extended periods of time. Must be able to relate with fans of all ages and demographics. Ability to work in a high activity and heavily crowded venue for extended periods of time. $13.00 Per Hour Suzi's Cover Letter:Dear Agents of Shield, Who doesn’t love a mascot? Or hanging out with mascots? And even though I would be down with being one, at least I’m not the one inside sweating from places I shouldn’t. Plus, I think those costumes hide my best assets, which can be used to our advantage. Wink, wink. I think is the perfect job for a woman since we are used to shields, like panty shields, so… I would love to be Shieldy’s hand. It’s so Game of Thrones. Without the nakedness and murder. Which is good. Ready to Armor, Suzi |
AuthorI'm just your average girl who wants a kick-ass life and... love! If I could be a superhero, that would be AWESOME! I'm currently a "phone actress" looking for a really cool career. Don't get me wrong-- I love giving a hand to dudes who need someone to chat with. Everybody needs somebody! But, my parents keep telling me I need a respectable job. Sigh. Archives
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