Who can’t smell a spammy scammy email a mile away? But I must give this douchebag props for trying a different approach.
Oh, a charity project. Must be legit. Let me read this email from someone I don’t know.
Ah, yes. The random capitalization of words and misuse of grammar. Because according to the terminology, Mrs. AssClown doesn’t have Cancer anymore because it’s been ‘overturn.’ Anywho, I will give scam-style-points for the twist of “her” desire to help others even though she’s dying and her husband died, too.
There is a large part of me that wants to create a new email address just to answer these scammers to see how far it could go. But, alas. I have other more pressing things to do. Like take a nap. Kudos for the creativity. A crotch kick because you’re looking to de-cash someone. P.S. Doesn't the "heavenly touch" email sound like a place Robert Kraft would hang out at? I’ve mentioned it before, Pinterest is fast becoming the new landscape of Hot-Mess-Dome. From the spammy “drink this to lose 10-pounds in the blink of an eye, to people fighting over recipes being named “crack”, people are now just dropping whatever they feel like onto a post. I came across a “pin” for two things I love: crab cakes and using my air fryer. Apparently, this person just wanted to reach the crab-cake-devouring-air-fryer-master niche. I get it. You’re trying to spread the word about your whatever. I love to reach as many people as possible and share the Crack Wise love. But know your time and space. Let’s move on to this gem. There’s nothing better than when some random posts a picture—without explanation—in conjunction with a recipe. Sure, you can add a photo or comment—about the recipe, but many times you get a mystery. I thought this recipe was right up my alley. Yums! But Barbrielle posted this pic as a response. WTF? Does this mean she tried the recipe and it made her hair stand up? Or is she showing us her hair looks like spaghetti? I’m torn. I want people to Pinterest responsible. But I love the fodder. Sigh.
Or woman. No discrimination here.
I thought it was a joke, or one of those bizarro products you find on Wish. Butt—no. For those of you who like big butts and you cannot lie, The Buttress Pillow. Lonely folk everywhere can drop$51.99 for the privilege of putting their face on someone’s ass. Right!?! Sure does eliminate all that awkward getting-to-know-someone, and then hoping it works out so you can actually get your head on said booty. The pillow is soft, ergonomic, functional and… joyful. Plus, you can pick the yoga pant color you want your butt in. Who knew we needed to up our pillow game? Maybe we should trade in our My Pillows for these? Actually, I want to see a battle between the Buttress people and Mike Lindell. Congrats on doing your job properly. Because this email subject line caught my attention for sure: But then my mind thought of a vajay-jay on a balancing beam. Or on a high wire. Or having a hard time walking in heels. What happens if a jay falls over?
Apparently, ladies, we’ve been tinkling all wrong all these years.
My friend Jane snapped these pics while at a recent doctor’s appointment. WTH? Sitting comfortably on the throne letting it flow is not the proper method for urine collection. It’s obvious you need to be a member of USA Gymnastics to acquire a proper sample. I know I will pull a muscle if I try to sit spread eagle on the toilet while trying to negotiate a cup to make a collection. Really. Also, notice how it looks like females pee from our butts. And lastly, the chick in this photo is obviously dehydrated from the color of her toxic yellow pee. Water, girlfriend. Water. Wow. Well, since we don’t want to violate any Urination Collection Laws, here is the proper procedure. You're welcome. In a world full of “friends” via social media, in reality, I consider a handful of people to be close, personal, friends. Friendships are crucial to life. These special souls are ride-or-die. All-in for the good and the bad. No judgements. Just love. But when a friend tries to extort you through their child? Not cool. While I try to financially contribute to a project, or buy somebody’s cookies and candies, sometimes the funds aren’t there. While you may think it’s cute to leave a voicemail that says: “Call me back.” And I do, then you say your kid needs to ask me something, and you put your kid on the phone, and that something you’re asked is: “Can you donate to my_______________?” in that cute, little kid voice. What. The. F*ck!?!? It’s not cool to put me on the spot in that manner. Who can say “no” to a kid? Great sales tactic, bad friend tactic. Unintentionally, there’s a theme with my ETC posts this week: the nose. A Facebook friend of mine took a screen shot of this, then shared it on her page. She was 100% serious when asking: “Does anyone know who this is?” I was in tears. Since I’m a fan of Animal House, I know that Booger is a character in that film. Then I read “his” profile. Hilarious! I wanted to explain to my curious FB friend of Booger’s bogus identity, but I just couldn’t. I was too caught up in re-living Animal House. This Booger is good. Warning: this post is a random mashup of things I’ve seen and had to share. I can’t be alone in my thoughts. I must disturb you, too. I came across this at Target. I love that section they have in the front of the store with all those items $5 and under. I wanted to buy this, but really have no use for it. I found it gross and funny. And then the spelling error on the back made me want to share what I had found. Do I have perfect spelling or grammar? No. But I’m not paid to proof read copy and instructions on items. If I were, I would’ve caught this one. That’s “LIFT” open. While I must give props to WOIO’s social media person for writing some clever set-ups for their links, whomever is editing stories dropped the ball on this one. I found it funny that this story is about a student’s perfect AP test score, yet later in the story the writer forgot to add the “s” to “State”. #GoBackToSchool #NoPerfectScoreForYou A friend of mine is vacationing in Thailand. Since my maturity level is that of a 10-year-old boy, I laughed out loud at his location. I’m certain I never want to visit a place where you “hang dongs”. Surely, men must be a bit fearful traveling there. I envision street merchants showing off their hanging dongs, next to the hanging chicken or whatever. Also, I would imagine that roasting dongs would lend to smoky conditions. P.S. I could go for some Pho. But without smoked dong. Yup. These are some of the things that have crossed my mind today. |
AuthorEditor-in-chief Kathy Vogel shares what's on her mind... through her fingers. Archives
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