the crack files:
etc.
Inside the mind of Crack Wise Editor-in-Chief Kathy Vogel
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There are days where I'd rather have a plate of Spam than deal with spam email. Though spam email has provided some fodder for this blog on more than one occasion. Props for being a tad bit more savvy, scammers, but I see you!  You might catch someone off guard with this. You're using the company name properly with the little "e" and capital "H". but... The weirdo fonts is a dead giveaway, and the "eHarmonyPartner" one-word thing. #FAIL  This pic almost looks legit-- complete with "company" address and the "click to unsubscribe" link. Which I'm sure is some kind of virus. Oh, and I'm not single... so.. #FAIL Then there's this:  Uhmmm. Am I supposed to hit "reply"? So glad you have a "genuine" investment op-- unlike the disingenuous ones/ Whew! #FAIL And then there's this one:  I'm puzzled. Because I'm not a member. And I've never served in the military. So, I'm not going to validate you or me now,. And... what's with the blank picture. At least the eHarmony scam had a legit-ish pic. #FAIL So I see this email in my inbox:  I almost spit out my tea. Is the Universe testing my maturity level? Because I will fail every time. When I read “The Most-Romantic Steak Dinner”, I out loud replied: “Tube Steak” It is Valentine’s Day, and I’m figuring a lot of tube steak dinners are going to be served hot and ready for… consumption. No? This I know… But I’m feeling like this Jesus is a little scammy… Hello! Happy New Year! I hope the start of the year is already off to a great start for you and your company! I just wanted to touch base with you and see if you needed any additional capital to get your company started on the right foot this new year? We currently have your company conditionally approved for a line of credit just over $220,000. Please give me a call at (949) 484-7735, 7AM-4PM PST, or simply reply to this email to get started on your LOC options. Please feel free to also learn more about your line of credit offer and options by clicking here. I look forward to working with you and your company!Thanks! Wow! That's so awesome that you're gonna give me money for Crack Wise. And all without my SSN. Oh, wait. You probs want me to call to give you my SSN and then... what? And that interesting loan amount: $220,000. Not a simple, easy-peasy quarter of a mil. But *this* amount. I don't know what Jesus would do, but I know what I would do in this instance. Say: "Girl, Bye!" P.S. The overuse of your exclamation points just make you seem extra desperate! Like you really want to not really help! Can't wait to never speak to you! |
AuthorEditor-in-chief Kathy Vogel shares what's on her mind... through her fingers. Archives
June 2020
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