​I snapped this pic while I was out and about…

So… liquidators are being liquidated? That’s ironic and harsh. Sounds like a liquidating Hunger Games. Times are tough…

In addition to Crack Wise-ing, I work in radio. Most of my career has been spent doing morning radio. And most times, my name has been a part of the title of the show. It’s usually how things work. I find it amusing when the industry makes a big deal out of a female lead on a morning show. I get it. Many women are in the #2 chair—so when a woman leads—holy sh$t!

To me, this was never a motivation—leading a morning show. The best talent should lead and mentor the other players. I’ve led morning shows. I’ve also been fortunate in that on the male-led shows, I’ve been treated as an equal.
Check out this ad for Bob & Sheri:
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Oooh, led by a woman! That’s the best marketing you’ve got? That should be my motivation to listen? Sigh. But the irony is that Bob’s name is first on a female-led show. True, “Bob & Sheri” flows better than “Sheri & Bob” but usually the lead gets top billing.
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So. Close. 

On a recent breakfast trip, I came across this on the menu:

Interesting name for a breakfast dish. And after reading the contents, how is this “complex”? I was expecting some bowl-full-of-millennial-angst—like, avocado and quinoa and kale. With a side of kombucha.

This meal sounds delicious.

Are they trying to scare customers off from trying the Complexity Bowl? Is it because they don’t want to hollow out bread to make a bowl? This really is complex, after all.

I opted for something else. But next time, breakfast will get more “complex.” LOL

Wait... I don't like sourdough. But I like all the other ingredients. Indeed, complex.

Sometimes, Facebook makes me happy. Like when they show me an ad for something I want.

Do you know how much I loved my Gameboy? And, this is a bag—which I love bags. And it lights up! And, the price is right!

I don’t know how much I can fit into this, but I want to try. Isn’t it funny how the little things make you smile?
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Now, I need to wrap this up so I can go play Tetris.

And please with the screengrab for your ad—a dude. A dude for Hiscox insurance!?!? I have the maturity of a 13-year-old boy! And, this man looks as if he’s gazing up to Heaven begging for some miracle with his c*ck. Like, “Please let the Viagra work!” Plus, I don’t see where his hands are… and that leaves me with many other inappropriate thoughts.

Nice slogan: “encourage courage”. Courage to get Hiscox? I’m picky about whosecox, okay?

I’m on a celebrity (whether legit or reality TV famous) rant this week. Next up for rebuking- Miley Cyrus.

She’s so angry that she wasn’t nominated for a 2019 MTV Video Music Award th she refuses to perform at the show.

You show ‘em!

Considering your one video for that one song is NSFW, what did you expect?

And here’s a thought: perhaps your videos suck.

​At least we won't have to see this:

I used to hate reality TV. As a writer, I vowed to not stray from scripted television. I totally identify with writers that slave over their craft, that are so connected to their work that it drives them batty at times.

But then one day—I caved. Hard core. I needed to turn my brain off. I didn’t want to invest my emotions or brain into a scripted show. I just wanted mindless entertainment. And that’s exactly what you get with reality TV. Mind you, I still watch plenty of scripted TV. But nothing makes me feel better about myself than watching idiots act like idiots on “reality” TV.

I enjoy watching Vanderpump Rules on Bravo. A bunch of friends that work at Sur Restaurant owned by the ultra-fab Lisa Vanderpump. These people are all young and beautiful and, sadly, wealthier than you and I. But I digress. This blog post is about cast members Tom & Katie. They’re married in real life. Now.
See. The two got married on the show in 2016. Very pricey, very TV wedding. The two got married for a second time in Vegas. This piqued my curiosity. I can see a vow renewal at five years, but at the three year mark?

Then the truth came out—these two twits were never legally married in 2016. They failed to properly fill out their paperwork. Seriously? The paperwork ain’t hard. But conveniently, their second REAL marriage was filmed for the upcoming season of the show. Whew!
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Please. Don’t have children. I’m pretty sure your kid legally won’t have a name because of all that “difficult” paperwork.

I’m a foodie. I love food. I dream of food. I like to eat food. I obsess over food. I have food guilt. And… I like to save money. So, I’ll buy a Groupon for a restaurant I like when it pops up. Groupon also likes to recommend deals on dining. But this. THIS looks completely unappetizing.

Is it supposed to be a sandwich piled with canned mushrooms, canned olives, un-melted cheese, and undercooked fries? Or is this supposed to be loaded fries? While I love the components of this sandwich/sub, this presentation looks like a pile of hurl. Perhaps it’s the poor lighting. Or perhaps this sub is actually gross.

This is the best you’ve got to sell me on a deal for your subs? Week old chipped beef may be more appealing. And I don’t know anyone that’s “dying” for chipped beef…