I‘m always looking for interesting projects to potentially work on. But this? I’m not mature enough to even audition:
I have more questions than I dare ask. I wonder if she abused her nub and that’s why it took a hike. That’s the running joke I have with some man-ho friends: “Don't be surprised if you wake up and your d&ck is lying next to you, angry for all the abuse you’ve put it through”…
And now, I might start snickering if I meet any gals named “Christine”. I’ll want to ask if they found their long-lost friend.
P.S. Could you imagine the Lost & Found poster for this?
Who knew you could buy a man for $15 on Wish?
This app has provided hours of entertainment. Hope you find joy in the silliest of things…
More marketing folks need to think like I do—inappropriately. Smart-ass-y. See this here ad from Flamingo?
I don’t need an ingrown hair—even if it’s free. I have a few of my own that are already free.
See what I mean…
Perhaps they should’ve chosen another word besides ‘free’ that would’ve gotten the point across—even though the choice is perfectly fine… accept when it comes to Crack Wise Nation. Because we see things differently.
Have fun freeing hairs while in quarantine…
P.S. Could you imagine someone giving out free ingrown hairs? And someone actually wanting them?
I’m a shoe fan. Not as big as I used to be. I discovered this sad moment when I uttered the phrase (to myself): “How many pairs of shoes do I need?”
The world paused for a moment.
But I still love shoes. And with my savvy shopping using my DSW Visa card, I get most pairs free.
*Cue happy dance…
Imagine my excitement when I learned that my girl-crush JLo designed a collection for DSW! In reality, I will never wear a pair of her shoes. One, because they’re too damned uncomfortable looking, and two—I’m cheap.
When I saw a pic from her DSW photo shoot, I was confused:
What exactly is she selling here?
Will wearing a pair of her shoes make my legs splay out like that?
Does she wax or shave?
I think she needs to design Coocis, you know, like Gucci, but more crotch forward. Perhaps Coochie Crocs.
Because seriously, who’s looking at the shoes!?!?!!?
As a female in possession of a jay jay, I’m amazed at all the ads and story pitches I receive about… stank. It’s one of those head-scratchers for me. Because if there were ever an issue with private areas or fungus on the feet or whatever, I was raised to go get it handled.
I understand thoughts on this topic have historically been antiquated…
But I know if I have an issue I can figure things out. I also am educated on knowing what is a realistic “smell” and what isn’t. I don’t think any woman today thinks hers should really smell like a rose. Or chocolate cake. Or whatever. Or believes Lysol should be used like a perfume.
In an age of information we seem to be oddly incapable of using our brains. Which is probably the point…
I made the mistake of clicking on a “racy” item on Wish. Check that. It was no mistake. Some of these items are hilarious, and the descriptions are the best—so many times lost in translation due to the English/Chinese thing.
But… I’m gonna have to say it’s a hard no (so to speak) on this item:
I mean, I think it’s great there’s lingerie for men. But this isn’t really sexy.
And this. I have no words:
What are the arrows supposed to indicate!?!? Ventilation? Is there some kind of fragrance or cologne that emanates from the crotchal region? Or is this for dudes that have stank crotch?
I bet some idiot’s gonna wear this as a Coronavirus mask…
I see you, Amazon. You know I can't quit you. And frankly, I don't want to. You've provided me with convenient bargains for years. My inner lazy luves you. And you know me. You really do. Like when you flashed me the ad for this on Facebook:
You knew I'd peep it. And my thought is: "F&ck the children." Don't get me wrong. I love kids. They're precious. They're the future. But they shouldn't get to have all the damned fun. So, I want this pizza slice lounging-chair thing. I'm making it #lifegoals. Why? Because I'm grown. And have money. And have no kids. So my inner kid and barren womb need nurtured. Yes, I'm going to fall off of this because I'm too damned big.
Mind your business, and get off my lawn!
There are days where I'd rather have a plate of Spam than deal with spam email. Though spam email has provided some fodder for this blog on more than one occasion. Props for being a tad bit more savvy, scammers, but I see you!
You might catch someone off guard with this. You're using the company name properly with the little "e" and capital "H". but... The weirdo fonts is a dead giveaway, and the "eHarmonyPartner" one-word thing.
This pic almost looks legit-- complete with "company" address and the "click to unsubscribe" link. Which I'm sure is some kind of virus. Oh, and I'm not single... so..
Then there's this:
Uhmmm. Am I supposed to hit "reply"? So glad you have a "genuine" investment op-- unlike the disingenuous ones/ Whew!
And then there's this one:
I'm puzzled. Because I'm not a member. And I've never served in the military. So, I'm not going to validate you or me now,. And... what's with the blank picture. At least the eHarmony scam had a legit-ish pic.
Pinterest strikes again with its randomness. This is one reason why I love social media—it brings out the… how should put this? It brings out the eccentric folk. That’s being nice…
Since I’m a foodie and will save a gajillion recipes that I will never be alive long enough to make, I found a recipe for Taco Tater Tots Two Ways for the slow cooker. Who doesn’t love tots? The name alone is cute, and—fried potatoes.
But as with any social media platform, the comments are golden—or bizarre.
I noticed there was a comment with this “pin”. So I clicked on it.
No comment made. Just a picture of these two. Are these the taco tater tots in two ways? Did these two like the recipe and that’s why they’re smiling. Or are their nicknames for each other Tater and Tot?
Or perhaps, they are one of many who don’t know how to “social media”. Which is okay. Because it’s gold for the rest of us…
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Editor-in-chief Kathy Vogel shares what's on her mind... through her fingers.