That's Amore

​I see you, Amazon. You know I can't quit you. And frankly, I don't want to. You've provided me with convenient bargains for years. My inner lazy luves you. And you know me. You really do. Like when you flashed me the ad for this on Facebook:
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You knew I'd peep it. And my thought is: "F&ck the children." Don't get me wrong. I love kids. They're precious. They're the future. But they shouldn't get to have all the damned fun. So, I want this pizza slice lounging-chair thing. I'm making it #lifegoals. Why?  Because I'm grown. And have money. And have no kids. So my inner kid and barren womb need nurtured. Yes, I'm going to fall off of this because I'm too damned big. 

Mind your business, and get off my lawn!

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