Coocci

I’m a shoe fan. Not as big as I used to be. I discovered this sad moment when I uttered the phrase (to myself): “How many pairs of shoes do I need?”

The world paused for a moment.

But I still love shoes. And with my savvy shopping using my DSW Visa card, I get most pairs free.

*Cue happy dance…

Imagine my excitement when I learned that my girl-crush JLo designed a collection for DSW! In reality, I will never wear a pair of her shoes. One, because they’re too damned uncomfortable looking, and two—I’m cheap.

When I saw a pic from her DSW photo shoot, I was confused:
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What exactly is she selling here?

Will wearing a pair of her shoes make my legs splay out like that?

Does she wax or shave?

I think she needs to design Coocis, you know, like Gucci, but more crotch forward. Perhaps Coochie Crocs.

Because seriously, who’s looking at the shoes!?!?!!?

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