Funformation
Fun + Information = Funformation
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Someone asked us the other day if we had gotten our Bugatti. Thinking Bugatti-- as in really expensive sports car-- we're like, "No. Do you know how much we don't make writing for Crack Wise?" But then she said she was referencing the international handbags from The Bugatti Group. Which also sounds way expensive for our bank account. So, bag Bugatti has teamed-up with K-Pop darlings BLACKPINK for a collection of handbags. There are four different collections-- one representing each singer in the group.  The collections are: "Scaled Up", "Be Still My Heart", "Shine On", and "Clearly You."  Grab a duffel, backpack, crossbody, fanny pack or whatever exclusively at Target. Prices ain't too bad: $54.99 for a backpack. Of course, we expect a back massage for that price. But will these bags match my Bugatti? If I could afford it? We're fine if you want to drop a mil or two on this Bugatti for us...  You're lovin' back to school, aren't ya! Parents are getting a break from the kiddos. The kiddos get to learn and socialize in person. And pre-pandemic routines are back... ish. We have a friend who's been tearing-up the socials with the fantastic lunches she makes for her four kids. (Way too much effort for us.) Anywho, even this superwoman-mom posted to expect the fancy lunches to stop soon. LOL And, she's turning out a top-notch breakfast for the kids. Where does she get the energy? Here's a great breakfast recipe large enough to feed the kids on a couple of mornings. Egg Bake with Broccoli  Ingredients: 6 cups Broccoli, chopped 2 cups sliced fresh mushrooms, (white or portabella) 2 large onions, chopped 24 large eggs 2 Tbsp Mexican seasoning 1.5 cups Mexican cheese, shredded (that's one 6 oz bag) 2 cloves garlic, minced 1 teaspoon salt 2 Tablespoons olive oil for sauteing 1 Tablespoon olive oil for coating baking pan Instructions: Preheat oven to 350℉ Broccoli: Chop broccoli into small florets and chunks, including stems, but chop off the tough ends and peel the skin from the thick portion of stalk. Place in bowl of water to soak/wash. Onions: Dice the onions by hand or in food processor and add to saute pan. Begin sauteing on medium-high heat if you wish to caramelize them, or wait to add other veggies. Drain broccoli: Scoop broccoli out of soaking water and place in colander to drain. We use that soaking water to pour onto our houseplants (in winter) or yard/garden plants in summer. Mushrooms: Clean and slice mushrooms if not already sliced. Add to saute pan. Saute: Add drained, chopped broccoli to saute pan and saute over medium heat until tender, around 10-15 minutes. Eggs: Crack the eggs into a bowl or large blender. We use large organic free range pasture raised eggs. Seasonings: Add seasoning to the eggs (or other seasoning of choice. Beat or blend the eggs until well beaten. You can use a whisk, blender or immersion blender. Prep pan: Coat 9x13" baking dish with the 1 Tbsp olive oil and brush to coat bottom and side of dish. We use a silicone brush, and these baking dishes with lid, make storage easy. Veggie layer: Once the veggies are done, spread veggie mixture evenly in the oiled casserole dish. Cheese layer: Sprinkle shredded cheese evenly over the veggies. Eggs: Pour seasoned eggs over the veggie cheese layers. BAKE for 45-50 minutes. Casserole is done when golden and firm on top middle. Let's talk serious stuff here. We need to eat all the ice cream we can before summer departs and the cold sets in. And we've found the perfect, easy, delicious recipe for homemade ice cream that will help you burn calories in the making-process. Legit! From our friends at Delish: Mason Jar Ice Cream SERVES 2 All you need is a Mason jar (and some major muscle) to whip up this legit vanilla ice cream. Ingredients: 1 cup heavy cream 1½ tbsp. granulated sugar ½ tsp. pure vanilla extract pinch of kosher salt Directions: Pour cream, sugar, vanilla, and salt into a large Mason jar and secure tightly with a lid. Shake the jar until cream thickens and almost doubles in size, 4 to 5 minutes. It should be opaque and easily coat the back of a wooden spoon. Freeze for 3 hours, or until hardened. Use an ice-cream scoop to serve with your favorite toppings. P.S. The 4-5 minutes of shaking will be quite the workout-- and more productive than holding that shake weight. Right?  Eat a waffle, save a penguin? Yeah. Envirokidz is all about kids eating healthy. They’ve just introduced two new waffle flavors: Penguin Party and Polar Berry. Both are gluten-free, and contain five grams of plant-based protein per serving from navy beans, peas, and other beans. Oh—and proceeds from every box sold of Penguin Party help save endangered penguins. And, for the records, proceeds from Polar Berry save endangered polar bears! Anywho, try this recipe for a snack or fun breakfast. P.S. With the beans, will there be more… tooting?  When one thinks of knitting, images of Easy Spirit shoes, polyester-blend pants with the elastic waist, and a floral blouse come to mind. You know, stuff granny wears. But now, knitting is all the rage for all the ages. Why? British Olympic diver Tom Daley was spotted knitting an outfit for one of his fur babies while cheering on his fellow divers. Plus, he said the hobby helps him practice mindfulness and remain calm. Well, okay then! New to the knitting game? Check this out: And while you're inspired, order a kit and get started! Here's one you may want to try. P.S. Remember who inspired you. That's us here at Crack Wise. Make us a cute winter hat, would ya?  Admittedly, we're not into making an ice cream commitment. We're more of "this is just a summer fling". Which is perfectly okay. What we don't demolish in the colder months, we make up for come summer. Plus, it's hard to not feel like a carefree child again when you're enjoying a cone or a sundae. And for us, that's a chocolate cone or sundae. According to Damn Good Ice Cream, chocolate rules.  P.S. Are we the only one that isn't down with the looks of this graphic? Calling Captain Deuce... Anywho... There are some ambitious folk out there that actually have the time to make their own ice cream. We're so jealous... Vanilla is the most-searched recipe, followed by strawberry, and chocolate. But avocado, green tea, and pumpkin are gaining in popularity. We're not that trendy. Here's an easy dessert featuring ice cream, courtesy of Betty Crocker. Fudge Ice-Cream Dessert  Ingredients: 1 box Betty Crocker™ Super Moist™ chocolate fudge cake mix ½ cup butter or margarine, melted 3 eggs 1 can or jar (16 oz) hot fudge topping, warmed 2 cups chopped Oreo chocolate creme sandwich cookies (20 cookies) ½ gallon vanilla ice cream, slightly softened Instructions: Heat oven to 350°F (325°F for dark or nonstick pan). Line bottom and sides of 13x9-inch pan with foil, leaving foil overhanging at 2 opposite sides of pan. Grease or spray bottom only of foil. In large bowl, mix cake mix, butter and eggs with spoon until blended (batter will be very thick). Using greased fingers, spread or pat in pan. Bake 18 to 21 minutes or until surface appears dry and is no longer shiny. Run knife around side of cake to loosen. Cool completely in pan, about 1 hour. Spread warmed fudge topping over cake; sprinkle with 1 cup of the chopped cookies. Freeze until firm, about 30 minutes. Spread ice cream over cookies. Cover and freeze at least 4 hours or overnight until firm. Sprinkle with remaining 1 cup chopped cookies. Let stand 15 to 20 minutes before serving. For easier cutting, remove from pan, using foil to lift. Store covered in freezer.
Hold up. August is National Dog Month, but August 8th is International Cat Day. One day only? Or is this actually better because this celebration is international? Whatever the case, let's chat about your furry friend.
Cat lovers are built differently. Because cats are little destructive demons with a total "whatever" attitude, and yet their human takes it on the chin every time- -and pampers their un-phased feline regardless. According to LawnStarter, the best cities for pussies is Orlando (Maybe because of the retirees?), followed by Lakewood, CO and Cary, North Carolina. 
Apparently, Orlando is great if you live there, and equally great if you're traveling with a kitty. There are plenty of cat-friendly rental homes, boarding establishments, and cat sitters. Oh-- don't forget the cat cafes... We'd be more impressed if the cats made the lattes, but whatevs. The worst place for meowing? New York City. The Big Apple is a big asshole to cats. The “city that never sleeps” is not down with the nocturnal creature. Not enough pet stores, veterinarians, cat sitters, and not enough living space. See how feline friendly your hood is: People get paid to do this kind of research? Sign us up! And this is for you cat lovers:
Dogs aren't just dogs. They're family. Seriously. Fur babies are so much a part of our lives that we want to be with them more than other humans a majority of the time-- and we love to spend money on them. Since August is National Dog Month, it's the perfect excuse to shower your pooch with even more love than usual. Not that you really need an excuse. Let's say you're on your unicorn floatie in the pool. But what about your dog? How about this cute pool float from Pool Candy...  So cool. So relaxed. Made from heavy-duty, puncture-resistant PVC, the unique design has two holes at the bottom that allows fresh water to flow into the base to keeping your pet cool. Because he can't have a fruity cocktail... Sassy Woof is an Asian-American woman-owned brand that loves your four-footed pal as much as you do!  Harnesses are the preferred way to keep your dog by your side and safe. Why not one of these adorable harnesses featuring custom-printed neoprene fabric with breathable mesh. They're reversible with two different designs that adjust around the chest for the perfect fit. Sizes extra small to large. And with so many of us going back into the workplace, there might be some separation anxiety issues. This would make for a great companion.  Calmeroos Puppy provides soothing comfort to your furry pal when they need it most. This stuffie recreates the experience of cuddling up to their mama and littermates. Is it wrong to say that we want to cuddle up with a littermate? Does this come in a larger size for humans? Pamper your pooch. They love you unconditionally. And might poop in your bed if they get mad... |
AuthorThe cracked Crack Wise Staff-- warriors of the Funformation Movement. Archives
August 2022
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