Funformation
|
|
... Bang a gong! It's a thing. Who knew? Well, we did know that sound therapy is good for you. You know, those sound bowls and stuff? Here are a few reasons why you should bang it out: 1. Stress Relief: Banging a gong can help release tension and promote relaxation. The deep vibrations produced by the gong have a soothing effect on the body and mind, reducing stress and anxiety. Crack Wisedom: There are some other deep vibrations that are also beneficial, wink wink. 2. Mindfulness and Meditation: Gong playing is often used in mindfulness practices and meditation sessions. The sustained resonance of the gong helps to focus attention, deepen awareness, and achieve a state of mental clarity. Crack Wisedom: We're mentally clear that this mallet could be used to bang that idiot co-worker on the noggin... 3. Energy Balancing: The gong's powerful sound waves are believed to affect the body's energy centers, promoting balance and harmony. It is thought to clear energetic blockages, rejuvenate the body, and stimulate the flow of vital energy. Crack Wisedom: We stood too close to a gong one time. Note the only "one" time because it scared the "blockages" right out of us. If we're being perfectly honest, we've all been messed up since the pandemic. The good thing is, we're focusing on our self-care more than ever. And believe us, we need it! Meditation has become a go-to for so many. Have you tried it yet? Here's a beginner's guide to meditation in 5 easy steps, courtesy of Adora Winquist, founder of The Soul Institute Co.: Create a space that feels warm and inviting: A clear and clutter free environment allows the mind to settle and the energy to flow freely. Having a sanctuary space for your sacred intentional practices will become a haven for you on the days when the hectic pace of the world can seem overwhelming. Crack Wisedom: We may have to do this in the closet. The kids. The dogs. The partner. They'll be looking for me in the bathroom, so, Plan B. Enjoy a cup of rose petal or lavender tea: Specific herbal teas can nourish the body, calm the nervous system and sooth the spirit. These two are wonderfully relaxing and heart nurturing, helping to create the conditions conducive to meditation. Crack Wisedom: We're on a budget. This fruity Barefoot Wine is gonna have to do. Incorporate your favorite heart centering essential oils: like Geranium, Ylang Ylang or Eucalyptus by inhaling one drop of the essential oil from the palm of your hand or cotton ball for 30 seconds while you focus on The Love Code Breath Technique. Pure essential oils are the most potent form of plant medicine and offer a profound and immediate effect when used via inhalation. The process of inhalation creates a new memory cell in the brain, filled with positive intention, energy, and intelligence. The aromatic molecules imprint their vibration and medicine through our olfactory senses, through the brain into our cellular consciousness and the totality of our beings. When feeling overwhelmed, anxious, down, or disconnected, we can create new habit patterns of using essential oils via inhalation to uplift our emotions and re-pattern our neural pathways for a healthier way of being, feeling and living. Crack Wisedom: What will sniffing some VapoRub do for me? The Love Code Breath Technique: Release Forgiveness Gratitude In each moment we can let go over the thoughts, feelings, actions and activities that we know do not serve our highest health and well being. When you start to feel triggered, upset or frustrated with yourself or others, center yourself like a tree rooted in the earth and take a deep breath into your heart, on the exhalation invite the intention to let go and release that emotion or thought. Then take a deep breath in forgiveness. It need not be directed at a person, yet more of a healing balm for our hearts. Then close with a breath of gratitude, a sense of appreciation for yourself and your commitment to grow, heal and elevate to the best, most loving version of yourself. Crack Wisedom: "Thank you, God, that I did not throat punch Sarah today. It was so hard to control myself, but... namaste." Cultivate this practice consistently: You don't have to spend a whole hour meditating to zen out. Starting with 5 minutes a day consistently is a great way to cultivate a commitment to yourself that is simple to keep. Over committing can create a sense of overwhelmness that is counterproductive. Once you feel like you have a solid 5 minute daily practice, increase by a few minutes each time as long as it feels easeful. Work up to 20 minutes a day. Journal your experience and benefits for the first 21 days to see the bright and beautiful new shifts in how you feel inside and how these greater feelings of goodness and gratitude ripple out around you. Crack Wisedom: Can we do this in the car? Because I'm thinking the kids and the partner will eventually find me in the closet... Remote work has its advantages: Wearing your comfy clothes. Snacking at-will. Saving on gas money. Listening to gangsta rap at loud volumes without uptight-Sarah asking you to turn it down. Remote work has its disadvantages: Isolation. Sloppiness. Fat-assness. Let’s focus on the fat-assness part. Pre-pandemic, office workers frequently took breaks “for their health”. For some, there’s no one to get away from. So, the walking or taking the stairs, or standing to stretch has gone away. And that’s not good. Here are some ways to de-stress at your desk—no matter where your desk is nowadays, courtesy of elite athlete and stuff-knower, Dr. Haley Perlus. 1. Neck and Shoulder Stretches Roll your chair away from your desk. Starting with your head facing forward, using your hand, gently stretch your head and neck to the left and right Practice this simple de-stressing technique: take a deep breath and shrug your shoulders as high as you can, and gently lower them, while breathing out deeply. Crack Wisedom: Don’t imagine snapping the neck of that annoying co-worker you have to see on your Zooms. We don’t want you snapping your own neck. Theirs, yes. 2. Hand and Forearm Stretches Continuous typing can lead to stress injuries such as carpal tunnel syndrome. Help reduce the chances of an injury by giving your hands and fingers a break. Roll back from your desk and allow your hands to fall to your sides. Roll your wrists in a clockwise and counter-clockwise direction. Shake them out to relieve any tension Stretch your forearms by flexing your palms towards your arms, gently increasing the stretch with your other hand. Then extend your palm away from your arm, using your other hand to stretch the top of your hand towards your forearm. You should feel a stretch throughout the underside of your arm. Crack Wisedom: Think of how good your solo time will be with relaxed wrists and forearms! 3. Back Stretches Sitting for long periods at a time is unnatural and can create pressure, especially in the lower back region. Haley recommends standing and walking as often as possible When standing, do a simple back stretch by bending at the waist and letting your arms lower towards the ground. Try to release all tension in your back and slowly “roll up,” one vertebra at a time If you don’t have a back injury, work on improving your range of motion by doing gentle torso twists, and rotating your trunk several times to help “loosen up.” Crack Wisedom: The one time where it’s acceptable to be loose. Wink, wink. 4. Leg Stretches Sitting for long periods of time also cause blood to pool in your lower legs. Haley says getting moving, even walking around the block, can help improve circulation and “wake up” tired legs Simple leg stretches such as calf raises, quad stretches, and hamstring stretches can all be done in the comfort of your cubicle or desk area If you feel yourself getting drowsy at your desk, a neat trick you can try are leg lifts: from a sitting position, raise your foot 3-4 inches off the ground and hold it. You will start to feel a burn – keep going until your muscle gives out, repeat on the other side. Crack Wisedom: A bad burn is having too many jalapeños on your tacos… The sun is shining! And we’re jonesing for summertime fun! Many times, we get caught-up in our giddiness and do stupid stuff. Besides the over-indulging in the beverages… meaning, not sunscreening properly or enough. So, how to de-burn the burn? Nada Ward, founder of Beauty Kin has some advice: Soothe the Burn: “I’d recommend using a cold, wet flannel or ice and applying this to the areas where you’ve burnt to help soothe and cool them. After sun lotion is now your best friend, be sure to lather plenty on your skin, especially overnight.” Lotion which contains Aloe vera works the best for pain relief and soothing the skin as it has anti-inflammatory properties. Or alternatively, you can always opt for pure Aloe vera gel, if preferred. This should help to prevent or soothe any blistering that may occur. Crack Wisedom: Can we slather on some butter so we can smell like a baked good? Seriously, we’re already baking. Hydration: After suffering sunburn, you need to keep yourself super hydrated. Drink plenty of cold water on a regular basis. If the burn is still causing you pain, some people choose to take over-the-counter pain relief medication such as paracetamol or ibuprofen. Crack Wisedom: Fermented grapes don’t have a large water content is what you’re saying? Treating Peeling Skin: Once you have got over the initial pain of the sunburn, next comes the dreaded peeling. Yes, it can be very tempting to pick away at the peeling skin, and you may think it’s a good idea to try and exfoliate it away. However, Nada says: “This is never a good idea, as the skin may not be ready to be removed, and this could lead to further pain, or in some cases, the fresh skin below could even become infected. Continue with cold showers or baths, but ensure you take extra care when drying off, patting yourself dry with a towel rather than rubbing hard, which may remove the dead skin too early. I know it’s frustrating, but trust your body’s natural healing process.” Once you’ve started to peel, you may think it’s safe to go back in the sun. However, you should try and keep the peeling areas out of the sun. Keep the burn covered up with loose fitting clothing, or if you are planning on going out and about, wear super strength factor 50 sun cream. Crack Wisedom: Well, this gets in the way of our creating a skin suit out of our own skin, ala Buffalo Bill style-- sans the whole murder thing.
Weddings are a production. Even the simplest of affairs requires some money to make happen. Cutting corners does not equate to a cheap-ass event. So do it! One major expense-- the gown. We get it. The bride is the center of attention and wants to make that lasting impression. But must you take a second mortgage out on your house? Nope.
Queenly, the leading marketplace and search engine for the formalwear industry, has sometips on how to gown-for-less. Upcycling your mom’s gown or vintage gowns Crack Wisedom: Somebody please wear mom's 1980s-era gown-- poofy long sleeves and all! Hell-- make it an 80s-themed wedding! Thrifting and Buying Gently Worn Gowns Crack Wise-dom: We say you find a tuxedo t-shirt and match it with the skirt part of a gently-used gown. Or better yet, why aren't there any gown t-shirts? #equality Opting For Unique Choices Crack Wise-dom: See our above advice. Why wear white? Wear black. Go themed wedding. Wear a prom dress. We uniquely choose to wear chaps. Assless chaps. and a cute fur shrug... In conclusion: Save your money and put it towards something that matters. No, not the honeymoon. Open. Bar. |
AuthorThe cracked Crack Wise Staff-- warriors of the Funformation Movement. Archives
January 2024
Categories
All
|