Funformation
|
|
It appears we are in the midst of a mad love affair. Not with wearing yoga pants or baking sourdough bread, but with the mighty burrito. In fact, 53% of Americans would prefer an awesome burrito over a hot date (according to TOP Data.) Well, that says a lot. Possible colon abuse and bad gas is preferred over someone that’s potentially high-maintenance. You can dump a hot date, but you can’t dump your colon. Oh, wait… Who knew burrito love was so intense? With this is mind, let’s commit for life to burritos! The Easiest Burrito Recipe *recipe courtesy of The Seasoned Mom Ingredients: 1 lb. lean ground beef 1 (1 ounce) packet taco seasoning mix 1 ½ cups refried beans (or 1 ½ cups drained and rinsed black beans) ¾ cup corn kernels 3 cups cooked rice (I like to use Uncle Ben's microwaveable Ready Rice for a quick option) 6 large (10-inch) flour tortillas (I like to use Mission brand "burrito size" tortillas) 1 ½ cups shredded cheddar cheese Optional garnish: finely diced red onion; lettuce; diced tomato or salsa; sour cream; fresh cilantro; avocado or guacamole Instructions: Preheat oven to 350° F. Spray 9 x 13-inch baking dish with cooking spray and set aside. Cook beef with taco seasoning mix, according to seasoning package instructions. To prepare 1 burrito: spread ¼ cup beans down center of tortillas; top with ½ cup rice, beef, 2 tablespoons corn, and ¼ cup cheese. Fold in opposite sides of each tortilla, then roll up, burrito style. Place, seam-sides down, in prepared dish. Repeat with remaining ingredients to prepare 6 total burritos. Cover with foil and bake for 25 minutes (until heated through). If you are baking the burritos from the refrigerator while they’re still cold, it will take about 30-35 minutes for them to heat through. As we’ve learned with the Netflix hit Bridgerton, rakes are a tad more suave and classier than today’s man-hoes. Simon was quite refined and educated, and would gladly share a cup of tea with a fine lady of society (we wish we’d be his fine lady of society…) Since you can’t buy Simon to gift mom with for Mother’s Day, La Rue 1680 has the next best thing—tea sets and teas that would be quite fitting for social season. In fact, La Rue 1680 is the luxury tea brand—all certified organic and ethically sourced. Pip, pip! Seriously, check out this cute teapot! And, just in time for summer—check out La Rue 1680’s new flavors: Citrus Mango Punch - The options are endless here. Perfect on its own with some ice or spiked with a bit of rum = relaxation in a cup. Peach Paradise - Amazing as a base for a Peach Bellini - this is THE drink for Mother’s day brunch. Spring Berry Punch - Featuring strong light summer berry flavors - you can taste the sunshine and find yourself using this in heavy rotation all summer long. Pina Colada - with flavors straight out of the island - brewing a fresh batch over ice, taking that first sip can help you transport to an island in your mind. Think of how you and mom can dish about Simon and Daphe, and those abs, and those scenes, while drinking tea. You won’t feel so naughty, because—tea. Garlic is good. Find a person who digs garlic, and the two of you could sweat garlic together. Maybe that’s just our fantasy… Garlic truly is good for us. It boosts immunity, decreases the risk of cancer, reduces inflammation and blood sugar, and protects your heart. Oh, and it’s low in calories and adds some superb flavor. Skip the breath mints, and dive into this delicious dish—courtesy of allrecipes (Terry Stirling) Death By Garlic Ingredients: ½ cup olive oil 10 cloves garlic, minced ½ teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes 3 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley 1 pound dry penne pasta ⅓ cup grated Romano cheese Directions: Cook pasta according to directions. In a pan, brown garlic in oil. Add salt, pepper and parsley and remove from heat. Toss penne pasta with garlic mixture, red pepper flakes, Romano, cheese and serve. Tomorrow (4/21) is National Tea Day. How fitting, since some of you started with the “herb” today, wink-wink. We support a tea lifestyle because there’s a diversity of flavors, and this stuff is actually good for you. Jaya Jay Myra is a former immunologist and current mind-body wellness expert/best-selling author. She’s all over the teapot, touting its awesomeness. Benefit #1: Fights Viruses and Boosts Immunity Black and green tea are known to have antiviral properties that can help your immune system combat viruses like the common cold and maybe even Covid-19. Anything extra we can do to support the immune system right now is a win-win. Benefit #2: Powerful Antioxidants Fight DNA Damage and Reduce Signs of Aging Want to maintain that youthful radiant glow and stay healthy at the same time? A cup of tea, particularly green tea or matcha, a day may be just the thing. Tea, and green tea in particular is loaded with powerful antioxidants that fight DNA damage and oxidative stress on the body, keeping you looking and feeling young. Those antioxidants can also help prevent heart disease and even cancer. Benefit #3: Reduces Stress and Anxiety Black and green tea contain L-theanine, a compound that helps fight stress and anxiety naturally. It can also promote a sense of calmness, while helping you focus on whatever task is at hand, making tea a great morning or mid-afternoon pick-me-up. Theanine can minimize the jitteriness of caffeine, but if you’re sensitive to caffeine, go for a tea that has less, like green or oolong. Benefits #4: Drinkable Medicinal Spices People have been making “tea” with herbs and spices for centuries. While these are technically tisanes if tea leaves are not used, we’re not keeping track because the potent health and wellness benefits are profound. A common Ayurvedic staple is cumin coriander fennel tea, which contains a host of health benefits including stimulating digestion, which is the root of all health according to Ayurveda. Lavender and chamomile teas can help promote sleep and relaxation. You can make tea to have practically any health or wellness benefit you want! Benefit #5: A Great Social or Self-Care Routine Whether used as a daily self-care routine or a way to spend time with friends and family, tea has you covered. It’s one of those things that can be enjoyed just as much alone as in a social setting. Crack Wise-dom: Will turning tea into a hot toddy negate all of this good? Fingers crossed it won’t? Jaya Jaya come in… Jaya Jaya? P.S. Is it just us, or do you want to refer to this fine lady as Jar Jar Binks? Or wishes she’d drop a track with Jay-Z? Probably just. Again... Ah, festivals. Yes, the music is awesome. But more awesomer is the people watching. The girl so blitzed, she’s hurling in her long hair. The dude drinking his height in beer. The “woo hoo” person. You know who we’re talking about... Someday, we’ll get back to festival life. Until then, enjoy the book: “FESTIVALS”—by Oliver Keens. You’ll get facts, figures, and photography, and gems like these: “You’ll learn how Glastonbury lured in punters with free milk in the ‘70s, how Rock In Rio helped throw off a military dictatorship in the ‘80s, how Lilith Fair asserted itself against the patriarchy in the ‘90s, how Afropunk altered the mainstream perception of black expression in the 2000s and how Secret Solstice took place in 72 hours of daylight in the 2010s.” Neat. Available June 1st. Have you gotten on board the Shakshuka train yet? Honestly, we just like the word. A lot. But the dish itself is also something to like. Shakshuka is an easy, healthy breakfast recipe predominantly in Israel and other parts of the Middle East and North Africa. It’s a combo of simmering tomatoes, onions, garlic, spices, and gently poached eggs. With April slated as National Garlic Month (and probably a million other things), Dorot Gardens wants us to turn to them for the bulbous veggie game. They’re known for pre-portioned garlic, onions, and herbs—which means no peeling, chopping, and measuring. Where have you been? Anywho-- to celebrate this scare-a-vampire-away month, they’ve dropped a Shakshuka recipe. Ready? Mediterranean Shakshuka Ingredients: 1 tablespoon olive oil 1 onion, finely chopped 1 red bell pepper, seeded and diced 4 cubes Dorot Gardens frozen garlic 1 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon black pepper 1 teaspoon chili powder 1 teaspoon ground cumin 1 and 1/2 teaspoons sweet paprika 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper (optional) 1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes 2 tablespoons tomato paste 6-8 eggs 2-3 tablespoons fresh parsley, chopped (plus more for serving) Directions: Heat olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onion and diced bell pepper and sauté for approximately five minutes, stirring frequently. Stirring continuously, add the Dorot Garlic cubes and cook for one minute more. Add the salt, black pepper, chili powder, ground cumin, paprika, and cayenne. Mix well to combine. Stir in the can of diced tomatoes with its juices and bring to a low simmer. Reduce heat to medium-low and use a potato masher to break down the onion, bell peppers, and tomatoes into small bits and pieces. Continue to simmer, stirring occasionally, until liquid is reduced by at least half. Use a spoon to make small wells in the sauce. Carefully crack one egg into each well. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover and cook for six to 10 minutes, or until eggs are cooked to your preference. Garnish with fresh chopped parsley, if desired. Mashups are so cool—especially when two icons mix-it-up to create some cool, must-have merch. Harley-Davidson and Aerosmith (through Bravado) have crafted a limited-edition line of men’s and women’s apparel to be sold in-store and online at www.Harley-Davidson.com. The collection features one-of-kind pieces of art, which amounts to 17 styles in six distinct graphic capsules. Burnout is inspired by the art of Aerosmith’s eponymous album and features vintage imagery to showcase and highlight the beginnings of these two renowned American brands. Dream On is named for the breakout song on the band’s debut studio album, “Dream On”. It illustrates the enduring influence that both Aerosmith and Harley-Davidson have established worldwide. Pump utilizes both Aerosmith’s and Harley-Davidson’s most recognizable logos to create an iconic and a collaborative design, joining the two brands with the wings of freedom. Aero Force One is titled as an ode to the Aerosmith’s devoted fan base and was designed as an emblem showcasing the alliance of these two American powerhouse legends. Toxic Twins is a graphic riff on the nickname for the band’s songwriting duo and a further reference to the Aerosmith and Harley-Davidson partnership. This design features both logos encased with snakes meant to represent the strength and spirit of both renowned brands. Draw the Line takes the art from Aerosmith’s album of the same name and infuses the tire tread and exhaust pipes of a Harley-Davidson motorcycle to represent the thunderous energy that ties Rock and Roll music and motorcycles together. They say 2021 is going to be the year of revenge shopping. Rage on with someone for yourself. Is it just us, or do the Dutch kind of seem a little perfect? Yeah. We hate them, too. A Dutch Masterpiece is a collection of four premium mature cheeses that’s won some awards worldwide. Blah, blah, blah. Those cheeses are: Rembrandt: Traditionally ripened for one year, this award-winning Extra Aged Gouda Cheese has a firm texture and a robust flavor, and an exceptional taste. Vincent: Where Gouda Meets Parmesan flavor, this rich sweet-tasting fully ripened for six months Dutch Cheese releases pleasant characteristic bursts of flavor with every bite. Frans Hals: A rich-aged Dutch goat cheese that is naturally matured for up to six months. Frans Hals is made from 100 percent goat's milk to create a unique, full-bodied taste and delicate aroma. Vermeer: Traditionally ripened for five months, this award-winning aged Dutch Gouda cheese has a delicate fruity taste with a delightful flavor. We don’t know if our mouths are good enough to even eat these cheeses. But… what’s good for the Dutch is gouda enough for us. Speaking of gouda, try this recipe featuring some award-winning cheese. And feel fancy… A Dutch Masterpiece Gouda Cookies Ingredients: 250 g almond flour 150 g grated Vermeer Gouda cheese 50 g butter or ghee 1 egg 1/2 teaspoon chili powder 1/2 teaspoon pepper Directions: Place all ingredients in a food processor and process until it starts forming a dough. Place on some plastic wrap and form into a flat disk. Freeze for at least an hour to set. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and line your baking trays with parchment. Take the dough out of the freezer. Place on your countertop and unwrap. Place another plastic wrap on top of the dough and roll out to 1 cm thickness. Remove the top plastic wrap and cut out the cookies with your cookie cutters. Place on the baking trays and top with the sage leaves. Bake for 10 minutes. Take out of the oven and let cool on the baking trays for 10 minutes and then transfer to a wire rack to fully cool down. Serve with some honey and herb salt. It’s a pizza party without a mass gathering. RarePizzas.com has something in the oven, uniting the NFT world and the real world via pizza. May 22nd is Bitcoin Pizza Day. RarePizzas.com will be buying over 100-thousand pizzas worldwide, using proceeds from the sale of their 10,000 unique generative art NFT pizzas. Brilliant! Thousands of pizza shops worldwide will get a boost in sales, and we pizza lovers will get to nosh. More than 300 artists have contributed their unique digital toppings to power RarePizzas.com NFTs. Digital pizza for the art collector, shove-in-your-mouth pizza for the rest of us. Find out if your favorite pizza joint is participating by clicking HERE. |
AuthorThe cracked Crack Wise Staff-- warriors of the Funformation Movement. Archives
January 2024
Categories
All
|