Funformation
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Potato Salad and cookout go hand-in-hand. So when you’re asked to grace a backyard barbecue with your presence, present this side dish. From allrecipes: Kristen’s Bacon Ranch Potato Salad Ingredients: Ingredient Checklist 2 pounds red potatoes, cut into bite-size pieces 1 (16 ounce) container sour cream 1 (1 ounce) package ranch dressing mix 1 ¼ cups cooked bacon, crumbled 1 ½ cups shredded Cheddar cheese 2 bunches green onions, thinly sliced Instructions: Place the potatoes into a large pot and cover with salted water. Bring to a boil over high heat, then reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer until tender, about 20 minutes. Drain, then run under cold water until cool. Combine the sour cream and ranch dressing mix in a small bowl until well-blended. Transfer the potatoes, bacon, Cheddar cheese, and green onions to a large bowl. Stir in the sour cream mixture until well-coated. Cover and refrigerate for about 2 hours before serving. Memorial Day weekend is almost here! And that means the unofficial summer kickoff is gonna be lit. Light up your get together with this bomb dessert. Strawberry and White Chocolate Cream Slab Pie *recipe courtesy of Pillsbury Ingredients: 1 box (14.1 oz) refrigerated Pillsbury™ Pie Crusts (2 Count), softened as directed on box 3 packages (4 oz each) white chocolate baking squares 3 tablespoons milk 1 package (8 oz) cream cheese, softened ¼ cup powdered sugar 1 container (8 oz) Cool Whip frozen whipped topping, thawed (3 cups) ¾ cup strawberry jam, stirred well 1 ½ cups chopped fresh strawberries Instructions: Heat oven to 450°F. Remove pie crusts from pouches. On lightly floured surface, unroll and stack crusts one on top of the other. Roll to 17x12-inch rectangle. Fit crust into ungreased 15x10x1-inch pan, pressing firmly into corners and sides. Fold crust even with edges of pan. Flute or crimp edges; prick crust several times with fork. Bake 10 to 12 minutes or until golden brown. Coarsely chop 4 oz of the white chocolate; sprinkle onto hot pie crust, and let stand 5 minutes. With offset metal spatula, carefully spread melted white chocolate across bottom of crust (will be thin layer). Freeze 10 to 15 minutes, or until set. Meanwhile, in small microwavable bowl, microwave 7 oz of the remaining white chocolate and the milk uncovered on High 30 seconds; stir. Continue heating in 10-second increments, stirring after each, until white chocolate can be stirred smooth. Set aside to cool. Shave remaining 1 oz white chocolate, and set aside for topping. In large bowl, beat cream cheese and powdered sugar with mixer until well blended. Add cooled white chocolate mixture to bowl; beat until well blended. Gently fold in whipped topping. Spread jam on top of set layer on crust. Spoon white chocolate mixture onto jam layer; carefully spread to cover jam layer. Refrigerate at least 1 hour until chilled. Just before serving, top with strawberries and reserved shaved white chocolate. Americans love eating. Bigger portions for a good price motivates us to shove it all in our faces. People will debate whether we should eat local, or eat big company. Since we eat it all, it doesn’t really matter. Those chain restaurants started as somebody’s small biz. And here we are. According to TOP Agency, these are the best chain restaurants in each state: Texas Roadhouse seems to be the favorite of a lot of states, so why not drop this copycat recipe for when a Roadhouse visit seems like too much effort. Texas Roadhouse Rolls *recipe from The Cozy Cook Ingredients: 1 ¼ cup Milk 1 teaspoon salt 4 Tablespoons melted Butter, separated 1 large Egg, at room temperature ¼ cup Honey 4 cups all-purpose Flour, or Bread Flour 2 ¼ teaspoon Active Dry Yeast, or 1 packet Instructions: Bring the milk to a near boil. Remove it from heat when you see it begin to steam and small bubbles form on the side of the pan. Let it reduce to lukewarm, between 80-90 degrees. Mix the milk, yeast, and honey in a small bowl until well combined. Let it sit for 5 minutes. In a large bowl, mix 3 tablespoons of the butter, the milk mixture, the room temperature egg, and 2 cups of flour. Mix slowly until smooth. (Use a mixer with a dough hook if you have one, otherwise it works by hand.) Gradually add the remaining 2 cups of flour and mix until a dough has formed. Add salt, and mix/knead for 8 minutes. Then drop the dough onto a floured surface and knead for a few more minutes. Spray a large bowl with cooking spray and drop the dough inside. Cover the bowl (plastic wrap or a damp cloth works) and let it rise for an hour in a warm place. Punch down the dough and roll it out on a flat, floured surface until it’s about ½ inch thick. Fold it in half and gently seal. Cut into 24 squares of even size and place on 2 lightly greased cookie sheets. Cover them and let them rise for 30-40 minutes,, until doubled in size. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and bake for 12-15 minutes, or until the top is a light golden brown. Melt the remaining tablespoon of butter and brush the top of the rolls. We used to have a problem. We used to be glued to Food Network. Glued. We may have even had a crush on Emeril Lagasse at one time. Seriously—a fluffy, charismatic Italian guy that can cook. Sexy. We were even all about The Next Food Network Star. And that’s when we learned of Guy Fieri and watched him win his season and become a mega food celebrity. Dude just opened his Chicken Guy! Restaurant in Nashville. Over 500 people stopped by to see what the fuss was about. The restaurant is known for its: “real-deal tenders pounded out to maximize crunchy texture and flavor, paired with an array of tantalizing sauces. They are brined in a mixture of fresh lemon juice, pickle brine, and buttermilk and infused with a proprietary blend of herbs and spices, giving Chicken Guy! tenders their unique texture and flavor. Sourced from chicken that is all-natural, antibiotic-free, never frozen, hand-pounded, and breaded fresh every day.” While some of you men folk know about pounding things every day, Guy apparently is the chicken tender expert. So, let’s try one of Mr. Fieri’s bock bock dishes. Guy Fieri’s Crispy Chicken Tenders Ingredients: Brine: 5-6 lemons, cut in half 2½ quarts cold water 3/4 cup kosher salt 3/4 cup sugar, granulated 1 bay leaf 1 head garlic, cloves peeled and separated 1½ teaspoons freshly ground black pepper 1¼ gallons ice water 1¼ cups buttermilk 2/3 cup pickle juice 8 chicken tenders Seasoned Flour: 5½ cups all-purpose flour 1 cup corn starch 3 tablespoons granulated garlic 3 tablespoons onion powder 2 tablespoons paprika 2 tablespoons freshly ground black pepper Egg Wash: 8 eggs 1 cup water Breading: 3 cups panko breadcrumbs 1 cups corn starch 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 tablespoon oregano, dry 1 tablespoon granulated garlic 1 tablespoon onion powder 1 tablespoon paprika 1 tablespoon freshly ground black pepper 2 tablespoon kosher salt Instructions: For the brine: Place the lemons into a large sauce pot with the cold water, salt, sugar, bay leaf, garlic and pepper. Bring the mixture to a boil and cook for 5 minutes while stirring to dissolve the salt and sugar. Strain the brine with a fine mesh strainer. Reserve the liquid and discard the solids. Add the ice water to the strained brine and stir to dissolve. Once the brine is cooled, add the buttermilk and pickle juice. Whisk to combine. Add the tenders and allow to soak for a maximum of 2 hours. For the seasoned flour: Sift all of the ingredients through a mesh screen into a mixing bowl to ensure there are no lumps. Whisk all ingredients together. For the chicken tender breading: Sift the flour and cornstarch together into a mixing bowl to ensure there aren't any lumps. Combine the remaining ingredients and whisk together. Mix well to incorporate. For the egg wash: Whisk the eggs and water in a bowl until fully blended. To assemble: Set up a breading station with seasoned flour, egg wash and breading each in a separate bowl. Using the three stage breading method, toss the tenders gently in the flour until well coated. Shake off the excess flour and then drop each tender into the liquid egg wash. Remove tenders from the liquid eggs, allow the excess to drip off and transfer chicken to the chicken breading. Cover the tenders in the breading thoroughly, then firmly press the tender flat with your palm to about a 1/4-inch thickness. Flip and press again as needed to make thickness and breading even. To cook: Spray the tenders with cooking or pan spray lightly and place in the air fryer. Cook for 10-12 minutes at 350°F an air fryer. Remove from the air fryer and serve. Crack Wisedom: Get somebody to make this for you. It’ll be a test of their love, friendship, patience… One of the best inventions of recent years: The Air Fryer. Not only does this kitchen buddy make reheated fried foods good to eat, and makes formerly deep fried treats more calorie-friendly, but when the heat is on (think Summer) no one wants to turn the oven on unless absolutely necessary. There are a gajillion things you can make in you’re A. F., from snacks to sweets, entrees and sides. Think of all these options from ChefWave: 1. Chips, chips, chips! Air fryers can turn just about anything into a crispy snack. Get a good mandolin and cut a medley of root vegetables into paper-thin rounds—we love carrots, parsnips, beets, sweet potatoes, and taro—and fry ‘em up. Apple and pear chips? Why not? Kale chips? Make your own and save big bucks at the store. 2. Pasta perfection You’re at a cocktail party and somebody passes you a tray of air-fried ravioli. Whaaat?? Yes—many kinds of pasta can be transformed into crispy nibbles with your air fryer. Whether you make your own gnocchi or buy frozen tortellini, you may never need a jar of marinara sauce again. Get imaginative with the dipping sauce and you’ve got an elegant appetizer. 3. Pickles If you’re not up on today’s fried pickle craze, you may be due for a trip to the State Fair. Or better yet, make up a batch of your own. You’ll need to dab them dry before coating them with breadcrumbs or flour, seasoned your way. Be prepared to get hooked! 4. Jerky High in protein and low in fat, jerky is basically the stuff of air fryer dreams. Take some super-thin strips of beef, turkey, or salmon and marinate them overnight in the flavor profile of your choice (salty, sweet, spicy, smoked, herbed, or some/all/none of the above). Then pop them on the rack of your air fryer and cook low and slow. Shout-out to the vegans: tofu or mushrooms can also be ‘jerkified’ to excellent results. 5. Sneaky sides Ever wonder how to make healthy veggies they’ll actually want to eat? Hello, air fryer! Try crisping up string beans, baby carrots, brussels sprouts, zucchini, cauliflower, broccoli…even radishes. A spritz of cooking spray beforehand, a dash of herbs, and maybe some grated cheese when they come out. Then watch them disappear. 6. Versatile wonton wrappers Your ticket to air fryer magic is waiting in your grocer’s refrigerator or freezer section. Wonton wrappers will take you wherever you want to go. We’re talking about savory dumplings filled with meat and veggies. Gooey goodies stuffed with fiery jalapeño-cream cheese. Sweet delights with fruit, nut butter, or caramel centers. You can even cut them in strips and air-fry them plain with a dusting of powdered sugar. 7. Just desserts Air-fried donuts are kind of a no-brainer, but brownies? Yes, please! The secret is out: the Internet is filled with recipes for baked goods like pies, cookies, bread pudding, and even lava cake á la air fryer. Sweet! 8. Got meat? Skip the smoky kitchen—cook up a nice thick ribeye, sirloin, or juicy ribs to tender perfection in the basket of your air fryer. 9. Be a good egg Mornings are busy enough. Who wants to cook? With your trusty air fryer, you can whip up some fluffy omelets (hint: prepare the mixture the night before) or even a batch of perfect “hard-boiled” eggs. 10. Toasted sandwiches Dial snack time up a notch with some exotic Mian Bao Xia shrimp toast, the Korean finger food that’s crunchy on the outside and luscious on the inside with just the right amount of umami. Crack Wisedom: It’s like a grown up Easy Bake Oven that actually makes something in under 5 hours. Still waiting for that cake we started in 1989… Here’s an air fryer recipe to try: Stuffed Jalapenos *recipe courtesy of everydayfamilycooking.com Ingredients: 12 Jalapenos 8 ounces of cream cheese, room temperature or slightly soft 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder 1/8 teaspoon onion powder 12 slices of bacon, thinly cut Salt and pepper to taste Instructions: Cut the jalapenos in half, remove the stems, and remove the seeds and membranes. The more membrane you leave, the spicier the jalapenos will be. Add cream cheese, shredded cheddar cheese, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, and pepper in a bowl. Mix to combine. Using a small spoon, scoop the cream mixture into each jalapeno filling it just to the top. Preheat air fryer to 350 degrees for about 3 minutes. Cut each slice of bacon in half. Wrap each jalapeno half in one piece of bacon. Place the bacon-wrapped stuffed jalapenos in the air fryer in an even layer making sure they do not touch. Air fry at 350 degrees for 14-16 minutes, until bacon is thoroughly cooked. Enjoy immediately or refrigerate for up to 3 days, reheating before eating. She might be one of our favorite birds: Sheryl Crow. Iconic artist of the 90s. Great music. So great that she has a way cool documentary on Showtime, and a coinciding Music From 2-CD set. All her biggest hits live there, as well as three newly-recorded tunes. Here’s the trailer from the docu: We admit we are not fashion-forward here at Crack Wise. We make sure we look decent and presentable. Plus, we like what we like. One thing we don’t understand: Crocs. Granted, some of our staffers grew up with jelly shoes—equally WTH. But Crocs are getting way more collab love then jelly shoes ever did. Those that love ‘em say they’re so comfy. Maybe one day, on a dare, we’ll try a pair on and see if we have a “moment” and then cross over to the Croc Side. In the meantime, Crocs fans may need this latest mashup featuring Crocs, General Mills, and Foot Locker. If you love Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Trix, Honey Nut Cheerios, and Cocoa Puffs, well—you’ll need to shop this collection. The Cinnamon Toast Crunch ones are available now. The others drop in July. They’ll set you back $45-$75. But what’s money when you’re in love? Fools. That’s what we are. We mean that with nothing but love, but let’s be real. We Americans are great at hijacking a drinking holiday and making it a sloppy mess. Why should Cinco de Drinko be any different? With all that drinking there will be the need for eating. Make this ahead of time. Because we’re sure that any form of thinking or attempting to use utensils and a hot stove and oven to cook might end up in a call to 911. This allrecipes casserole might be your savior. Cinco de Mayo Casserole Ingredients: 1 pound ground beef 1 teaspoon vegetable oil, or as needed 1 onion, diced 2 cloves garlic, chopped 1 (10 ounce) can diced tomatoes with green chile peppers (such as RO*TEL®), drained 1 cup salsa, drained 1 (7 ounce) can Mexican-style corn, drained 1 cup sour cream 3 cups shredded Cheddar cheese, divided ½ teaspoon salt ¼ teaspoon ground black pepper Instructions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat. Cook and stir beef in the hot skillet until browned and crumbly, 5 to 7 minutes; drain and discard grease. Transfer ground beef to a 9x13-inch casserole dish. Heat oil in a skillet over medium heat; cook and stir onion and garlic in the hot oil until onion is translucent, about 10 minutes. Spoon onion mixture over ground beef. Mix tomatoes with green chile peppers, salsa, corn, sour cream, 1 cup Cheddar cheese, salt, and black pepper into ground beef mixture; top with remaining 2 cups Cheddar cheese. Bake in the preheated oven until cooked through and cheese is melted, about 45 minutes. Let stand for 10 minutes before serving. |
AuthorThe cracked Crack Wise Staff-- warriors of the Funformation Movement. Archives
January 2024
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