Did you know that we Americans eat more than 50 billion burgers each year? There’s the beef! With the unofficial kickoff to Summer happening soon, why not step-up your grilled burger game with this:
Miso Glazed Sriracha Burgers
Yes, you will be the neighborhood Guy Fieri with this one.
The cold is good for you. More specifically, cold exposure has physical and mental health benefits. Athletes have used ice baths for years to speed up muscle recovery, but science says the cold stuff is good for all of us. Cold exposure can reduce anxiety, manage stress, and hold-off cognitive decline.
Ice Barrel allows us to ice bathe in the comfort of our homes.
Ice Barrel holds up to 105 gallons of water in its unique vertical design, which places the spine in a more comfortable position. Use the barrel indoors or outdoors.
Granted, you’re gonna need some ice to put one in your home: $1,199.97 to be exact.
We think you should put an Ice Barrel next to a hot tub for a complete spa experience.
P.S. Should dudes wear some sort of… shield? You aren’t supposed to put fruit on ice are you?
If we were to ever start a line of toys for our children, we’d name it Little Maniacs. Because Little Tikes sounds too angelic. Our children would be demons. And that’s okay.
Let’s say your kid is full of energy. Yes, that’s sounds better than “little maniac”. However you choose to say it, your kid needs to burn off all that young, untainted-by-life energy.
Perhaps Slacker Ninjalines is something they’d dig. This versatile backyard outdoor hanging obstacle course kit allows the obstacles to be moved further apart as your kid’s skills improve. And, there are three different lines to choose from, based on ability.
Shop HERE for your backyard kiddo adventure.
We can see many an insurance claim from adults who’ve had one too many beverages thinking they’re the next American Ninja Warrior, falling off the course, breaking a hip, or a branch falling on them…while their children laugh at them.
The stuff memories are made of…
We love cheese. No meal should be served without cheese. Okay… a few dishes don’t need cheese. But that doesn’t mean we don’t want our favorite food group. Thank goodness some dairy farmers way back in June 1937 were looking for a way to sell excess milk in the summer months, because that’s how cheese was born.
Did you know:
Cheese can be made from the milk of cows, sheep, goats, reindeer, buffalo, and even yaks. But the world’s rarest and most expensive cheese is made from the milk of Serbian donkeys.
Crack Wise-dom: Hhhmmmm… “donkey cheese” sounds like something we’d find on OnlyFans. Pass.
Scientists in Switzerland have researched the effect of music on cheese. Their conclusion: exposure to music produces a milder flavor than that of cheese raised in silence. Interestingly, hip-hop cheese has a slightly stronger—some might call it funkier—flavor.
Crack Wise-dom: What about the effects of Screamo? Screamo Creamo Cheese?
America’s favorite cheese isn’t American cheese. It’s cheddar. And while women are more likely than men to prefer brie, men tend to favor blue cheese.
Crack Wise-dom: Since bleu cheese can smell like a rank ball sack, we get the correlation here.
Mexican scientists are working to transform the waste left over from cheese production into biofuel.
Crack Wise-dom: Mexican food = gas. Gas = buttfuel.
A recent study found that wine and cheese could also lower the risk of developing Alzheimer’s.
Crack Wise-dom: Excellent. Because we seriously do not want to forget that we love cheese.
Let’s get cheesy with this recipe from Tamar Genger, RD and JamieGeller.com.
Penne Pecorino Pasta
1/2 lb. whole grain penne
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil, such as Colavita
1/2 onion, chopped fine
1 clove garlic, minced
8 oz. broccoli florets, chopped
1 cup (about 4 oz.) Pecorino, shredded
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon Black pepper
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons flour
2 cups skim milk
1/2 cup sun dried tomatoes (optional)
1/2 cup grated Pecorino Romano
Boil the pasta per package directions until just cooked and al dente. Strain and place in a large bowl.
Meanwhile in a large pan, pour in oil and heat over medium high heat. Add onions and garlic, sauté until soft, about 5 minutes. Add broccoli florets and sauté until the broccoli is bright green, about 2 minutes. Add to pasta. Mix in cheese and spices.
Preheat oven to 425. Clean out pan and put back on medium heat. Melt 2 tablespoons butter and whisk in all-purpose flour; cook, whisking constantly, 2 minutes.
Whisk in milk gradually; cook, whisking constantly, 5 minutes or until mixture thickens. Remove from heat and pour over broccoli and pasta, mix well. Add sun dried tomatoes if using. (at this point you can refrigerate until ready to eat)
Spray 4 large ramekins or a medium sized baking pan with cooking spray. Divide mixture among baking trays evenly. Top with grated Pecorino and bake 25 minutes. Enjoy hot and crispy.
Peaches are considered a summer fling thing. But this summer, the peach game is jumping up a notch. Expect the taste of peach in everything from salsas, to glazes, to beverages.
Here’s something peachy for you to try:
Peach Brick Toast with NILLA Wafers
*recipe courtesy of Snack & Desert Solutions
2-3/4 oz. water
2-3/4 oz. whole milk
1 oz. bread flour
5-1/2 oz. whole milk
2-3/4 tsp. instant yeast
16-1/2 oz. bread flour
2-3/4 oz. granulated sugar
1-1/2 tsp. salt
2 each whole large eggs
2-3/4 oz. unsalted butter, slightly softened
5 oz. coarsely chopped NILLA Wafers
8 oz. mascarpone
1 oz. powdered sugar
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1/4 tsp. coffee extract
11 oz. heavy cream, whipped to soft peaks
1 oz. unsalted butter
12 oz. caramel sauce
8 slices Peach Brick Bread (3.75 oz. each)
20 oz. Tiramisu Cream
30 oz. Banana Topping
4 oz. coarsely chopped NILLA Wafers
Combine all ingredients in small saucepan. Cook on medium heat, whisking constantly, until the whisk leaves a trail on the bottom of the pan, about 5 min. Cool to room temperature.
Warm milk to 90°F. Sprinkle yeast over milk. Let stand while assembling remaining dough ingredients.
Combine flour, sugar and salt in bowl of mixer fitted with dough hook. Stir in eggs, milk mixture and cooked starter. Mix on low speed until smooth, about 4 min. Add butter. Mix on medium speed 10 min. (Dough will be tacky.) Mix in NILLA Wafers just until blended.
Place dough in large greased bowl, turning to coat entire surface. Cover with plastic wrap. Let rise at room temperature 1 hour. Turn dough onto lightly floured surface. Deflate and shape into a rectangle to fit a 13 x 4 x 4-inch Pullman Loaf Pan. Remove dough from bowl. Let dough rest 15 min. Place dough in greased pan. Cover pan with lid. Proof 45 min. or until dough is 3/4th of the height of the pan.
Bake in 350°F standard oven 35 min. Remove lid; bake an additional 10 to 15 min. or until internal temperature registers 200 to 205°F. Cool in pan on wire rack 15 min. Remove from pan and cool completely.
Mix mascarpone, powdered sugar and extracts in large bowl until smooth. Gently fold in whipped cream. Refrigerate until ready to use.
Cut peaches lengthwise into quarters, then cut into 1/2-inch-thick slices. Melt butter in sauté pan; add peaches. Cook 1 min. Add caramel sauce and heat just until warm.
For each serving:
Cut a 1-1/2-inch thick slice from Peach Brick Bread. Use 1-3/4-inch round cutter to remove a circle from center of bread slice. (Reserve center for another use or discard).
Place bread slice under broiler 1 to 1-1/2 min. or until light golden brown. Turn and brown other side. Transfer to serving plate.
Fill center with 2.5 oz. Tiramisu Cream. Spoon 3.75 oz. Peach Topping over bread and onto plate. Sprinkle with 1/2 oz. cookie pieces.
May is such awesome month. May flowers from those April showers; Mother’s Day; Memorial Day; and the official kickoff to BBQ season. Yes, the yumminess that is summer outdoor eating!
But (and we hate the “but” part—unless we’re talking pork butt, which would be delicious barbecued) we should be mindful of our tummies, according to expert Dr. Julie. So, here’s the need-to-know info.
1. Don’t pile everything onto your plate then gobble it down in the same sitting
The brain gets a signal to supply digestive enzymes for whatever food type you eat first. If you start to chew a second and third type of food too early, the signal to produce new enzymes won’t be processed as quickly and the new foods will not be properly digested, causing bloating, gas, heartburn, and stomach pain. Additionally, you won’t get the energy from the food you’re eating because the body will now have to spend energy getting rid of the toxins that are forming from these wrongly mixed foods. Chew each bite slowly, a dozen or more times before swallowing, to trigger the proper enzymes and to aid absorption. Side benefit: You’ll feel full sooner and won’t eat as much.
Crack Wise-dom: You apparently didn’t come from a large family where if you didn’t eat fast and furious, you didn’t eat at all. Plus, gas and bloat can be a weapon against said family.
2. Steak or potato salad – which should I eat first?
One huge mistake most people make is eating their steak along with a baked potato or a potato side dish -- mixing heavy starches with heavy proteins. Eat steaks, burgers, and hot dogs first, slowly. You can have a bite of salad along the way. Once your steak is pretty well gone, after 15 minutes, have some potatoes. Then, if you want dessert, wait about 20 minutes.
Crack Wise-dom: What if I want a steak, a burger and a hot dog? Which comes first? #askingformyinnerfattie
3. Avoid trying new unfamiliar foods and strange food combinations
Don’t eat an assortment of “unfamiliar” foods and food combinations. It’s difficult for your body to signal a need for certain enzymes when your body has never experienced a particular food or food combination before.
Crack Wise-dom: Sounds a little food-ist to us… wink, wink.
4. Don’t eat if you’re too hot, too cold, emotionally upset, or physically ill
If your body is under physical or emotional stress or discomfort it will shut down enzyme production and digestive activity, so any food you eat will not be digested and will ferment in your digestive tract. Don’t eat after baking in the sun; cool down in the pool first.
Crack Wise-dom: Uhhmmm…. It’s summer. So, hot. And, we’re around other people. We live for the dramz.
5. Eat garnishes and veggie dishes that assist digestion
Certain cultures add garnishes, herbs, and spices to help with digestion, like ginger, which is super for digestion. Others add hot peppers, which are a stimulant to the digestive tract and help the body secrete more hydrochloric acid. Some cultures use turmeric to help digestion. Others add pineapple to their meats, which allows the bromelain in the pineapple to help break down the protein. In preparation of Greek food, lemon is used to assist digestion.
Crack Wise-dom: And?
6. Understand the role of “5 key digestive enzymes” and supplement them as needed
As we age, our body’s ability to produce digestive enzymes diminishes. To help break down different types of foods and improve digestion and nutrient absorption, these key enzymes can be taken individually or as a combination supplement (like AbsorbAid).
Protease: This enzyme breaks down proteins and liberates amino acids which are then absorbed through the intestinal walls.
Amylase: present in saliva, breaks down carbohydrates into sugars
Lipase: secreted by the pancreas into the small intestines to break down dietary fats into simple fatty acids and glycerol which can then be absorbed
Cellulase: helps decompose cellulose (vegetable fiber) into simple sugar
Lactase: converts milk sugar (lactose) into simple sugars glucose and galactose
Crack Wise-dom: What? Plus, isn’t “galactose” a video game from the 80s?
The pandemic has changed us permanently. There’s a lot more “eff everything” vibe going on, like: “Work pants? Eff that.” “Eating healthy? Eff that.” “Hot girl/boy summer? Eff that.” We feel you. And nothing says “eff that” more than naked gardening.
It’s completely freeing… though we’re concerned about bug bites and sunburned naughty parts (but a well-placed bee sting might help with… swelling.) If you want to let the “twig and berries” breathe freely while you’re weeding out the twigs and berries, so be it.
With that said, there are some places in the country that are more suited for N.G. (naked gardening) than others. The best place to do it, according to Lawn Starter? Miami. Duh. Austin is second, followed by Seattle. That one stumps us. Because Seattle can be damp and moist, and well, Costanza-stuff could happen.
So, how does your neck (nekkid) of the woods stack up? Take a down low peak…
Cinco de Mayo is soon upon us (or it may be past, depending on when you read this.) Regardless, there’s always time for some Mexican yum. Grab that bottle of pre-made margaritas, and let’s make these...
Easy Chicken Flautas
*recipe courtesy of allrecipes
¼ cup butter
¼ cup all-purpose flour
¼ cup minced onion
¼ cup chopped black olives
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 tablespoon oil
¼ teaspoon ground paprika
⅛ teaspoon ground black pepper
⅛ teaspoon salt
1 ½ cups cooked shredded chicken
8 flour tortillas
oil for frying, or as needed
Melt butter in a skillet over medium heat; stir flour into butter until smooth. Add onion to flour-butter mixture; cook and stir until onion is softened, 5 to 10 minutes. Mix black olives, lemon juice, oil, paprika, black pepper, and salt into onion mixture; cook and stir until heated through, about 2 minutes. Stir chicken into mixture and remove skillet from heat and cover.
Heat oil in a large, heavy saucepan or deep-fryer. Fill tortillas with chicken mixture. Roll tortilla around filling and secure with a toothpick. Fry the rolled tortillas, working in batches, in the hot oil until browned, about 2 minutes. Transfer fried tortillas to a paper towel-lined plate using a slotted spoon or tongs.
The cracked Crack Wise Staff-- warriors of the Funformation Movement.