May is such awesome month. May flowers from those April showers; Mother’s Day; Memorial Day; and the official kickoff to BBQ season. Yes, the yumminess that is summer outdoor eating!
But (and we hate the “but” part—unless we’re talking pork butt, which would be delicious barbecued) we should be mindful of our tummies, according to expert Dr. Julie. So, here’s the need-to-know info.
1. Don’t pile everything onto your plate then gobble it down in the same sitting
The brain gets a signal to supply digestive enzymes for whatever food type you eat first. If you start to chew a second and third type of food too early, the signal to produce new enzymes won’t be processed as quickly and the new foods will not be properly digested, causing bloating, gas, heartburn, and stomach pain. Additionally, you won’t get the energy from the food you’re eating because the body will now have to spend energy getting rid of the toxins that are forming from these wrongly mixed foods. Chew each bite slowly, a dozen or more times before swallowing, to trigger the proper enzymes and to aid absorption. Side benefit: You’ll feel full sooner and won’t eat as much.
Crack Wise-dom: You apparently didn’t come from a large family where if you didn’t eat fast and furious, you didn’t eat at all. Plus, gas and bloat can be a weapon against said family.
2. Steak or potato salad – which should I eat first?
One huge mistake most people make is eating their steak along with a baked potato or a potato side dish -- mixing heavy starches with heavy proteins. Eat steaks, burgers, and hot dogs first, slowly. You can have a bite of salad along the way. Once your steak is pretty well gone, after 15 minutes, have some potatoes. Then, if you want dessert, wait about 20 minutes.
Crack Wise-dom: What if I want a steak, a burger and a hot dog? Which comes first? #askingformyinnerfattie
3. Avoid trying new unfamiliar foods and strange food combinations
Don’t eat an assortment of “unfamiliar” foods and food combinations. It’s difficult for your body to signal a need for certain enzymes when your body has never experienced a particular food or food combination before.
Crack Wise-dom: Sounds a little food-ist to us… wink, wink.
4. Don’t eat if you’re too hot, too cold, emotionally upset, or physically ill
If your body is under physical or emotional stress or discomfort it will shut down enzyme production and digestive activity, so any food you eat will not be digested and will ferment in your digestive tract. Don’t eat after baking in the sun; cool down in the pool first.
Crack Wise-dom: Uhhmmm…. It’s summer. So, hot. And, we’re around other people. We live for the dramz.
5. Eat garnishes and veggie dishes that assist digestion
Certain cultures add garnishes, herbs, and spices to help with digestion, like ginger, which is super for digestion. Others add hot peppers, which are a stimulant to the digestive tract and help the body secrete more hydrochloric acid. Some cultures use turmeric to help digestion. Others add pineapple to their meats, which allows the bromelain in the pineapple to help break down the protein. In preparation of Greek food, lemon is used to assist digestion.
Crack Wise-dom: And?
6. Understand the role of “5 key digestive enzymes” and supplement them as needed
As we age, our body’s ability to produce digestive enzymes diminishes. To help break down different types of foods and improve digestion and nutrient absorption, these key enzymes can be taken individually or as a combination supplement (like AbsorbAid).
Protease: This enzyme breaks down proteins and liberates amino acids which are then absorbed through the intestinal walls.
Amylase: present in saliva, breaks down carbohydrates into sugars
Lipase: secreted by the pancreas into the small intestines to break down dietary fats into simple fatty acids and glycerol which can then be absorbed
Cellulase: helps decompose cellulose (vegetable fiber) into simple sugar
Lactase: converts milk sugar (lactose) into simple sugars glucose and galactose
Crack Wise-dom: What? Plus, isn’t “galactose” a video game from the 80s?
The pandemic has changed us permanently. There’s a lot more “eff everything” vibe going on, like: “Work pants? Eff that.” “Eating healthy? Eff that.” “Hot girl/boy summer? Eff that.” We feel you. And nothing says “eff that” more than naked gardening.
It’s completely freeing… though we’re concerned about bug bites and sunburned naughty parts (but a well-placed bee sting might help with… swelling.) If you want to let the “twig and berries” breathe freely while you’re weeding out the twigs and berries, so be it.
With that said, there are some places in the country that are more suited for N.G. (naked gardening) than others. The best place to do it, according to Lawn Starter? Miami. Duh. Austin is second, followed by Seattle. That one stumps us. Because Seattle can be damp and moist, and well, Costanza-stuff could happen.
So, how does your neck (nekkid) of the woods stack up? Take a down low peak…
Cinco de Mayo is soon upon us (or it may be past, depending on when you read this.) Regardless, there’s always time for some Mexican yum. Grab that bottle of pre-made margaritas, and let’s make these...
Easy Chicken Flautas
*recipe courtesy of allrecipes
¼ cup butter
¼ cup all-purpose flour
¼ cup minced onion
¼ cup chopped black olives
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 tablespoon oil
¼ teaspoon ground paprika
⅛ teaspoon ground black pepper
⅛ teaspoon salt
1 ½ cups cooked shredded chicken
8 flour tortillas
oil for frying, or as needed
Melt butter in a skillet over medium heat; stir flour into butter until smooth. Add onion to flour-butter mixture; cook and stir until onion is softened, 5 to 10 minutes. Mix black olives, lemon juice, oil, paprika, black pepper, and salt into onion mixture; cook and stir until heated through, about 2 minutes. Stir chicken into mixture and remove skillet from heat and cover.
Heat oil in a large, heavy saucepan or deep-fryer. Fill tortillas with chicken mixture. Roll tortilla around filling and secure with a toothpick. Fry the rolled tortillas, working in batches, in the hot oil until browned, about 2 minutes. Transfer fried tortillas to a paper towel-lined plate using a slotted spoon or tongs.
The cracked Crack Wise Staff-- warriors of the Funformation Movement.