Size Extra Long

I was thinking: “I need a new denim jacket”.

I think denim jackets are always fashionable. Of course, I’m not a model, nor really fashionable… so what do I know. But I might be validated because this hot chick is wearing a denim jacket.
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What. The. F&ck.

Sure, this gal is smokin’ hot. And I don’t think she has any problems getting guys to “say hi” to her. But I’m pretty certain she wouldn’t wear this in her real life. Nor would I. Not because I’m a prude, but because my 36-Cs are now 36-Longs.

Thanks, age and gravity—you miserable wench!

I really think the reason why I have flabs and sags is because I would be foolish enough to wear something like this if I had an awesome body. I’d wear this shizz to Giant Eagle. First, it would make people stop in their tracks so I could maneuver through the aisles much quicker. Second, I’m showing everyone there is no way I could ever be a shoplifter—nowhere to hide the shrimp and steaks!

Plus, you know this denim jacket probably costs at least $250—and it’s missing half the material!

Fortunately—you’ll never see me, in public, in this outfit. Of course, I could wear this in my current physical state and fit right in-- at Walmart.
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Decisions, decisions. 
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via GIPHY

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