My List

I hate when someone who is most likely younger than I am giving me advice on how to live my life. Get a gray hair or 20 first, then check back in.

A recent article basically covered 40 things women over 40 shouldn't have in their possession. The list was tamer than I imagined, because it's become a "thing" to bash people over the age of 30. But I still don't cave to pressure from someone I don't give five sh*ts about telling me what to do.

Some things on the list: paperback books; shoes that hurt your feet; wire hangers. Look, judgy bitch. I like books. I will continue to have them. And CDs. I'm not dumping either for the sake of a Kindle or downloads-- though I do download stuff.

Here's my list of 4 things you shouldn't care about when you reach the age of zero tolerance:

1. What other people think. Are they in your inner circle? Then f*ck off.

2. My third roll of flab. Why? I worked hard for the first two, and the third is bonus. Bring on the yoga pants 4-eva!

3. Saving everyone and the environment. Because I won't live long enough to associate with the masses. Time's a ticking... And, I'm sure the know-it-alls are ruining the environment we speak.

4. I'm too blissfully old to come up with a #4. That's why old people rock. Because we make up rules and stuff.

I'm going to start my own hashtag to counteract the #OKBoomer trend (though I'm not a boomer, but I want to defend boomers out there): #OKMillie. As in, "Okay, Millennial. You have grandiose ideas but no plan of action. Go back to eating your avocado toast and pretending to be evolved and better than...
​
That escalated.

---