This has to be the best scam email I’ve received. It’s different and catchy. Still bullshit, but hey— you get an “A” for “Asshat”.
Re: Payment Notification:
We are writhing to know if it's true that you are DEAD? Because we received a notification from one MR. GERSHON SHAPIRO of USA stating that you are DEAD and that you have giving him the right to claim your funds. He stated you died on a CAR accident.He has been calling us regarding this issue, but we cannot proceed with him until we confirm this by not hearing from you after 7days. Be advised that we have made all arrangements for you to receive and confirm your funds without anymore stress, and without any further delays.
All we need to confirm now is your been DEAD Or still Alive. Because this MAN'S message brought shock to our minds. And we just can't proceed with
him until we confirm if this is a reality OR not But if it happened we did not hear from you after 7days, then we say: MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PERFECT
PEACE" YOUR JOY AND SUCCESS REMAINS OUR GOAL. May the peace of the Lord be with you wherever you may be now.
Mr Ibrahim Magu
First of all, if I’m dead—how would I write back? Or in this case “writhe” back. You’re “writhing” me? Gag. Anywho, are you assuming I’d be a ghost? If I am indeed dead, I have zero f*cks to give about checking email. I’m dead!!!
Secondly, do you mean the Gershon Shapiro of the USA? He apparently is the expert on dead people and there is only one of him. Sounds like he’s some nobleman.
If I can choose my manner of death, it surely would not be ON a car accident. It wouldn’t involve cars at all. It would involve me naked with my husband in the throes of passion. And I’d be reallllllly old. Like, can’t-identify-my-body-parts old.
I am touched that you’re so concerned about my well-being and my soul. I’m sure if I respond to this email and give you all my pertinent information, I will live my best life ever.
Editor-in-chief Kathy Vogel shares what's on her mind... through her fingers.