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CRACK WISE MAG

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Inside the mind of Crack Wise Editor-in-Chief Kathy Vogel
​Explore always-relevant tidbits of funformation in our archives...

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Jesus Loves Me

2/5/2020

 
This I know… But I’m feeling like this Jesus is a little scammy…
Hello!

Happy New Year! I hope the start of the year is already off to a great start for you and your company!

I just wanted to touch base with you and see if you needed any additional capital to get your company started on the right foot this new year? We currently have your company conditionally approved for a line of credit just over $220,000. Please give me a call at (949) 484-7735, 7AM-4PM PST, or simply reply to this email to get started on your LOC options.

Please feel free to also learn more about your line of credit offer and options by clicking here. I look forward to working with you and your company!Thanks!

Wow! That's so awesome that you're gonna give me money for Crack Wise. And all without my SSN. Oh, wait. You probs want me to call to give you my SSN and then... what? And that interesting loan amount: $220,000. Not a simple, easy-peasy quarter of a mil. But *this* amount.

I don't know what Jesus would do, but I know what I would do in this instance. Say: "Girl, Bye!"

P.S. The overuse of your exclamation points just make you seem extra desperate! Like you really want to not really help! Can't wait to never speak to you!


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