Cover. Your. Womb.

Recently the hubs and I made a little road trip to Kennywood. We had some free tickets; we were jonesin’ for some roller coaster action and-- people watching. And we got what we wished for, especially in the people watching category.

I’ve never been fashion-forward. I look presentable, and that’s the best I can do. What I do know is how to dress appropriately for whatever occasion arises.

Others do not.

I thought this was just a “younger chick” thing, but getting dressed up to spend the day at an amusement park never ceases to amaze me. Women of all ages and backgrounds were over-dressed.

Why?

1.   Are you hoping to find true love? Or true-love-for-today?
2.  Are looking for a “big-soft-pretzel-with-mustard” sugar daddy?
3. Are you longing for someone to win you all the stuffed animals at those rigged carnival games?

Seriously. It’s hot and sunny. You’re active. If I’ve got “mountain dew” flowing and a small rice paddy developing in my nether regions, then you are too! And I’m wearing comfortable attire!
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"Could you please buy me a soft prezel? See, I bend like one. Wink, wink."

​For the love of creation, wear some sensible shoes! This is from a gal that loves some shoes. Your hooker heels are not meant for walkin’—unless it’s to the nearest bar stool or to a bed where you can flop on your back. Your Coach handbag may be stylin’, but it's going to fall into that Bermuda-triangle-death -zone past the first big curve of the roller coaster.

And.. the strangulation of your "kitty." Let. It. Breathe. Moisture-wicking materials are your friend. Not your Boston-Strangler-Victoria’s-Secret thong. Plus, I don’t want to become an accidental gyno because I can see your ovaries.

Sigh.

Perhaps the “amusement’ in amusement park is watching you ladies hooch it up.
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I’m out of energy to even discuss the dude violations…

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