Butt Yay!

Bidets have forever been ruined for me ever since comedian Mike Conley of Conley’s Corner defined a bidet as “water toilet paper”. I mean, he’s not wrong. But I’m guessing bidets are growing, or is that flowing, in popularity because it seems like I’m seeing these ads in my inbox, on my social media… It’s like they’re trying to shove it up my…​

This. This right here is why I’m not gonna bidet-it any time soon. Is the water stream so powerful that I can ride atop it? (Like the woman in this pic) Or cleanse my tonsils with it?
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Maybe I need to try one so I can understand WTF is what with this thing. Because wouldn’t I need a drying function as well? Is there a butt dryer next to the hand dryer?

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