Funformation
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We used to have a problem. We used to be glued to Food Network. Glued. We may have even had a crush on Emeril Lagasse at one time. Seriously—a fluffy, charismatic Italian guy that can cook. Sexy. We were even all about The Next Food Network Star. And that’s when we learned of Guy Fieri and watched him win his season and become a mega food celebrity. Dude just opened his Chicken Guy! Restaurant in Nashville. Over 500 people stopped by to see what the fuss was about. The restaurant is known for its: “real-deal tenders pounded out to maximize crunchy texture and flavor, paired with an array of tantalizing sauces. They are brined in a mixture of fresh lemon juice, pickle brine, and buttermilk and infused with a proprietary blend of herbs and spices, giving Chicken Guy! tenders their unique texture and flavor. Sourced from chicken that is all-natural, antibiotic-free, never frozen, hand-pounded, and breaded fresh every day.” While some of you men folk know about pounding things every day, Guy apparently is the chicken tender expert. So, let’s try one of Mr. Fieri’s bock bock dishes. Guy Fieri’s Crispy Chicken Tenders Ingredients: Brine: 5-6 lemons, cut in half 2½ quarts cold water 3/4 cup kosher salt 3/4 cup sugar, granulated 1 bay leaf 1 head garlic, cloves peeled and separated 1½ teaspoons freshly ground black pepper 1¼ gallons ice water 1¼ cups buttermilk 2/3 cup pickle juice 8 chicken tenders Seasoned Flour: 5½ cups all-purpose flour 1 cup corn starch 3 tablespoons granulated garlic 3 tablespoons onion powder 2 tablespoons paprika 2 tablespoons freshly ground black pepper Egg Wash: 8 eggs 1 cup water Breading: 3 cups panko breadcrumbs 1 cups corn starch 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 tablespoon oregano, dry 1 tablespoon granulated garlic 1 tablespoon onion powder 1 tablespoon paprika 1 tablespoon freshly ground black pepper 2 tablespoon kosher salt Instructions: For the brine: Place the lemons into a large sauce pot with the cold water, salt, sugar, bay leaf, garlic and pepper. Bring the mixture to a boil and cook for 5 minutes while stirring to dissolve the salt and sugar. Strain the brine with a fine mesh strainer. Reserve the liquid and discard the solids. Add the ice water to the strained brine and stir to dissolve. Once the brine is cooled, add the buttermilk and pickle juice. Whisk to combine. Add the tenders and allow to soak for a maximum of 2 hours. For the seasoned flour: Sift all of the ingredients through a mesh screen into a mixing bowl to ensure there are no lumps. Whisk all ingredients together. For the chicken tender breading: Sift the flour and cornstarch together into a mixing bowl to ensure there aren't any lumps. Combine the remaining ingredients and whisk together. Mix well to incorporate. For the egg wash: Whisk the eggs and water in a bowl until fully blended. To assemble: Set up a breading station with seasoned flour, egg wash and breading each in a separate bowl. Using the three stage breading method, toss the tenders gently in the flour until well coated. Shake off the excess flour and then drop each tender into the liquid egg wash. Remove tenders from the liquid eggs, allow the excess to drip off and transfer chicken to the chicken breading. Cover the tenders in the breading thoroughly, then firmly press the tender flat with your palm to about a 1/4-inch thickness. Flip and press again as needed to make thickness and breading even. To cook: Spray the tenders with cooking or pan spray lightly and place in the air fryer. Cook for 10-12 minutes at 350°F an air fryer. Remove from the air fryer and serve. Crack Wisedom: Get somebody to make this for you. It’ll be a test of their love, friendship, patience… One of the best inventions of recent years: The Air Fryer. Not only does this kitchen buddy make reheated fried foods good to eat, and makes formerly deep fried treats more calorie-friendly, but when the heat is on (think Summer) no one wants to turn the oven on unless absolutely necessary. There are a gajillion things you can make in you’re A. F., from snacks to sweets, entrees and sides. Think of all these options from ChefWave: 1. Chips, chips, chips! Air fryers can turn just about anything into a crispy snack. Get a good mandolin and cut a medley of root vegetables into paper-thin rounds—we love carrots, parsnips, beets, sweet potatoes, and taro—and fry ‘em up. Apple and pear chips? Why not? Kale chips? Make your own and save big bucks at the store. 2. Pasta perfection You’re at a cocktail party and somebody passes you a tray of air-fried ravioli. Whaaat?? Yes—many kinds of pasta can be transformed into crispy nibbles with your air fryer. Whether you make your own gnocchi or buy frozen tortellini, you may never need a jar of marinara sauce again. Get imaginative with the dipping sauce and you’ve got an elegant appetizer. 3. Pickles If you’re not up on today’s fried pickle craze, you may be due for a trip to the State Fair. Or better yet, make up a batch of your own. You’ll need to dab them dry before coating them with breadcrumbs or flour, seasoned your way. Be prepared to get hooked! 4. Jerky High in protein and low in fat, jerky is basically the stuff of air fryer dreams. Take some super-thin strips of beef, turkey, or salmon and marinate them overnight in the flavor profile of your choice (salty, sweet, spicy, smoked, herbed, or some/all/none of the above). Then pop them on the rack of your air fryer and cook low and slow. Shout-out to the vegans: tofu or mushrooms can also be ‘jerkified’ to excellent results. 5. Sneaky sides Ever wonder how to make healthy veggies they’ll actually want to eat? Hello, air fryer! Try crisping up string beans, baby carrots, brussels sprouts, zucchini, cauliflower, broccoli…even radishes. A spritz of cooking spray beforehand, a dash of herbs, and maybe some grated cheese when they come out. Then watch them disappear. 6. Versatile wonton wrappers Your ticket to air fryer magic is waiting in your grocer’s refrigerator or freezer section. Wonton wrappers will take you wherever you want to go. We’re talking about savory dumplings filled with meat and veggies. Gooey goodies stuffed with fiery jalapeño-cream cheese. Sweet delights with fruit, nut butter, or caramel centers. You can even cut them in strips and air-fry them plain with a dusting of powdered sugar. 7. Just desserts Air-fried donuts are kind of a no-brainer, but brownies? Yes, please! The secret is out: the Internet is filled with recipes for baked goods like pies, cookies, bread pudding, and even lava cake á la air fryer. Sweet! 8. Got meat? Skip the smoky kitchen—cook up a nice thick ribeye, sirloin, or juicy ribs to tender perfection in the basket of your air fryer. 9. Be a good egg Mornings are busy enough. Who wants to cook? With your trusty air fryer, you can whip up some fluffy omelets (hint: prepare the mixture the night before) or even a batch of perfect “hard-boiled” eggs. 10. Toasted sandwiches Dial snack time up a notch with some exotic Mian Bao Xia shrimp toast, the Korean finger food that’s crunchy on the outside and luscious on the inside with just the right amount of umami. Crack Wisedom: It’s like a grown up Easy Bake Oven that actually makes something in under 5 hours. Still waiting for that cake we started in 1989… Here’s an air fryer recipe to try: Stuffed Jalapenos *recipe courtesy of everydayfamilycooking.com Ingredients: 12 Jalapenos 8 ounces of cream cheese, room temperature or slightly soft 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder 1/8 teaspoon onion powder 12 slices of bacon, thinly cut Salt and pepper to taste Instructions: Cut the jalapenos in half, remove the stems, and remove the seeds and membranes. The more membrane you leave, the spicier the jalapenos will be. Add cream cheese, shredded cheddar cheese, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, and pepper in a bowl. Mix to combine. Using a small spoon, scoop the cream mixture into each jalapeno filling it just to the top. Preheat air fryer to 350 degrees for about 3 minutes. Cut each slice of bacon in half. Wrap each jalapeno half in one piece of bacon. Place the bacon-wrapped stuffed jalapenos in the air fryer in an even layer making sure they do not touch. Air fry at 350 degrees for 14-16 minutes, until bacon is thoroughly cooked. Enjoy immediately or refrigerate for up to 3 days, reheating before eating. Fools. That’s what we are. We mean that with nothing but love, but let’s be real. We Americans are great at hijacking a drinking holiday and making it a sloppy mess. Why should Cinco de Drinko be any different? With all that drinking there will be the need for eating. Make this ahead of time. Because we’re sure that any form of thinking or attempting to use utensils and a hot stove and oven to cook might end up in a call to 911. This allrecipes casserole might be your savior. Cinco de Mayo Casserole Ingredients: 1 pound ground beef 1 teaspoon vegetable oil, or as needed 1 onion, diced 2 cloves garlic, chopped 1 (10 ounce) can diced tomatoes with green chile peppers (such as RO*TEL®), drained 1 cup salsa, drained 1 (7 ounce) can Mexican-style corn, drained 1 cup sour cream 3 cups shredded Cheddar cheese, divided ½ teaspoon salt ¼ teaspoon ground black pepper Instructions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat. Cook and stir beef in the hot skillet until browned and crumbly, 5 to 7 minutes; drain and discard grease. Transfer ground beef to a 9x13-inch casserole dish. Heat oil in a skillet over medium heat; cook and stir onion and garlic in the hot oil until onion is translucent, about 10 minutes. Spoon onion mixture over ground beef. Mix tomatoes with green chile peppers, salsa, corn, sour cream, 1 cup Cheddar cheese, salt, and black pepper into ground beef mixture; top with remaining 2 cups Cheddar cheese. Bake in the preheated oven until cooked through and cheese is melted, about 45 minutes. Let stand for 10 minutes before serving. Mother’s Day is fast upon us. After years of being your cook, cook up something nice for her. While we wouldn’t under normal circumstances suggest you slip mom a little loin (unless you’re West Virginian and that’s how you roll), we suggest you do so this time. Because this beef tenderloin recipe from Delish is, well, delish. Beef Tenderloin Ingredients: For Beef: 1/2 c. extra-virgin olive oil 2 tbsp. balsamic vinegar 2 tbsp. whole grain mustard 3 sprigs fresh thyme 3 sprigs fresh rosemary 1 dried bay leaf 2 cloves garlic, smashed 2 tbsp. honey 1 (2-lb.) beef tenderloin, rested at room temperature for 1 hour 1 tsp. kosher salt 1 tsp. freshly ground black pepper 2 tsp. fresh rosemary, finely chopped 1 clove garlic, minced For Yogurt Sauce: 1/2 c. Greek yogurt 1/4 c. sour cream 1 tsp. prepared horseradish Juice of 1/2 lemon Kosher salt Instructions: In a large bowl, mix together oil, vinegar, mustard, thyme, sprigs of rosemary, bay leaf, smashed garlic, and honey. Add meat to bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and marinate in refrigerator for 1 hour or up to one day. Optional: Bring tenderloin up to room temperature before baking. Preheat oven to 450º. Line a rimmed baking sheet with aluminum foil and fit a wire rack inside. Remove tenderloin from marinade and pat dry with paper towels. Season all over with salt, pepper, rosemary, and minced garlic, then place on rack. Roast until cooked to your liking, about 20 minutes for rare. Let rest 5 to 10 minutes before slicing. Meanwhile, make sauce: In a medium bowl, whisk together yogurt, sour cream, horseradish, and lemon juice, and season with salt. Slice tenderloin and serve with sauce on the side. We love cheese. So, we’re excited when we discover new brands of cheese. And we extra like it when a cheesemaker has a cool contest. Gayo Azul are Caribbean Hispanic cheesemakers with a Dutch influence. They dropped a chicken coop contest last year. It was so popular, they’re doing it again this year. The Second Gayo Azul Rooster Chicken Coop Giveaway is better than an Easter Egg Hunt, and much easier. Three people will win this awesome chicken coop from The Chicken Coop Company, along with a gift card, kitchen accessories, and some yumminess from Gayo Azul cheese valued at $700. Enter now through April 18th HERE. And now, onto the cheesy stuff. Have you ever had fried cheese for breakfast? When you weren’t hungover? Get a load of this: Fried Cheese Ingredients: 3 oz. Gayo Azul Queso Blanco 1 plantain 1 egg Instructions: Cut Gayo Azul Queso Blanco into 3 rectangular strips and place in pan with cooking oil. Fry 5 minutes on each side until cheese turns a golden brown color. Fry plantains until they turn light brown Add a fried egg to complete this breakfast dish. Let’s be honest. We’re all friends here. You’re probably going to over-indulge today. That’s why you need something delish and restoring to eat the next day. So, prepare this bomb casserole ahead of time and get un-hungover. Cracked Out Tater Tot Breakfast Casserole *recipe courtesy of plainchicken.com Ingredients: 2 lb bacon 1 (30-32oz) bag frozen tater tots 1 (1-oz ) package Ranch Salad Dressing & Seasoning Mix 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese 8 eggs 2 cups milk Instructions: Preheat oven to 350ºF degrees. Lightly spray a 9×13-inch baking dish with cooking spray. In a large skillet, cook bacon. Chop the cooked bacon into pieces. In a large bowl, toss together tater tots, cooked bacon, and cheeses. Pour into prepared baking dish. Whisk together eggs, Ranch mix, and milk. Pour over tater tot mixture. **Cover and refrigerate at this point if baking later.** Bake for 50 – 60 minutes, or until eggs are set. Literally, every day is a “national day” celebrating something. But this is one day we're throwing our bibs on for: National Ranch Dressing Day on 3/10. Seriously, ranch is something we are seldom without—but we suppose we can dedicate one full day to its awesomesauce-ness. Thanks to Taste of Home, this recipe is the perfect way to do our part and celebrate. Chicken Ranch Mac & Cheese Ingredients: 3 cups uncooked elbow macaroni 3 tablespoons butter 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon pepper 1 cup 2% milk 1-1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese 1/2 cup shredded Swiss cheese 3/4 cup ranch salad dressing 1 cup coarsely chopped cooked chicken Topping: 1/3 cup seasoned bread crumbs 2 tablespoons butter, melted 10 bacon strips, cooked and crumbled 1 tablespoon minced fresh parsley Instructions: Preheat oven to 350°. In a 6-qt. stockpot, cook macaroni according to package directions for al dente; drain and return to pot. Meanwhile, in a medium saucepan, melt butter over medium heat. Stir in flour, salt and pepper until smooth; gradually whisk in milk. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly; cook and stir until thickened, 1-2 minutes. Stir in cheeses until blended. Stir in dressing. Add chicken and sauce to macaroni, tossing to combine. Transfer to a greased 13x9-in. baking dish. Toss bread crumbs with melted butter; sprinkle over macaroni. Top with bacon. Bake, uncovered, 30-35 minutes or until topping is golden brown. Sprinkle with parsley. February 1st marks the Chinese New Year. And 2022 is the Year of the Tiger. Grrr! The Tiger is known as the king of all animals in China, and is a symbol of strength and braveness. Of course, food is a big part of any New Year celebration, whether lunar or solar. So, put on your tiger gear and make this delish dish for good luck. Chicken Chow Low Mein*recipe courtesy of bottomlessbrunch.com Ingredients: 8 ounces fresh egg noodles 1 tbsp sesame oil, plus 1 tsp 3 ounces chicken breasts, cut into small pieces 2½ tbsp groundnut oil 2 garlic cloves, finely chopped 50g mangetout, finely shredded 1 carrot, finely shredded 2 spring onions, finely chopped 2 tsp light soy sauce 2 tsp dark soy sauce 2 tbsp Shaohsing rice wine ½ tsp freshly ground white pepper ½ tsp golden caster sugar What to do: In a pan of boiling water, cook the egg noodles for 3-5 mins, then drain and transfer them to cold water. Remove them and drain thoroughly, toss them with 1 tbsp of sesame oil and put to one side. In a bowl combine your chopped chicken breast with 1 tsp sesame oil, 2 tsp Shaohsing rice wine, ½ tsp white pepper and ½ tsp salt for the marinade, mix together and leave to marinate. Heat a wok or large frying pan over a medium-high heat, add in 1 tbsp groundnut oil and add the chicken, stir-frying until cooked. In another wok, add 1½ tbsps of groundnut oil and wait until hot, add 2 finely chopped garlic cloves and stir-fry until fragrant, before adding 50g of finely shredded mangetout and finely shredded carrot, stir fry for a minute. Add in the noodles, 2 tsp light soy sauce, 2 tsp dark soy sauce,1 tbsp Shaohsing rice wine, ½ tsp golden caster sugar, 2 finely chopped spring onions and stir fry for a couple of minutes. Add in the chicken to the noodles and vegetables and stir-fry until everything is warmed through. Add 1 tsp sesame oil and give everything a good stir, before putting it on a plate to serve. Serves 4. Not everybody goes out and acts foolishly on New Year’s Eve. In fact, it’s way more fun to act foolish in your own home! Need something to nibble on while ringing in the New Year? Try this delish recipe from Delish. Cheesy Baked Meatballs Ingredients: For The Sauce: 1/4 c. extra-virgin olive oil 2 cloves garlic, minced 2 tbsp. freshly chopped oregano 1 (28-oz.) can crushed tomatoes Kosher salt Freshly ground black pepper For The Meatballs: 1 1/2 lb. ground beef 1/2 c. bread crumbs 1/4 c. freshly grated Parmesan 2 tbsp. freshly chopped parsley, plus more for garnish 2 cloves garlic, minced 1 large egg 1/2 tsp. red pepper glakes Kosher salt Freshly ground black pepper 1/3 c. shredded mozzarella 1/3 c. freshly grated Parmesan Thinly sliced basil, for garnish Instructions: Preheat oven to 375°. Make sauce: In a large pot over low heat, heat 1/4 cup oil. Add garlic and oregano and stir, making sure it doesn't burn, until fragrant, 1 minute. Add tomatoes and season with salt and pepper. Let simmer while you make meatballs. Make meatballs: In a large bowl, combine ground beef, bread crumbs, Parmesan, parsley, garlic, egg, and red pepper flakes and season with salt and pepper. Mix until fully combined, then form into 15 meatballs, about 2” in diameter. Place meatballs in an even layer in a 9”-x-13” baking dish. Bake 20 minutes, then add sauce and sprinkle all over with cheeses. Return to oven 15 to 20 minutes more, until cheese is melty and meatballs are cooked through. Garnish with parmesan and basil and serve. Let’s say you have a house full of people on Christmas morning. They’re going to be hungry. Try this recipe. Oh, and even if you don’t have a gang over—try it anyways. A whole lot of yummy is waiting for you. Eggs Benedict Casserole*recipe courtesy of allrecipes Ingredients: Cooking spray 8 large eggs 2 cups milk 3 green onions, chopped 1 teaspoon onion powder 1 teaspoon salt ¾ pound Canadian bacon, cut into 1/2-inch dice 6 English muffins, cut into 1/2-inch dice ½ teaspoon paprika 1 (.9 ounce) package hollandaise sauce mix 1 cup milk ¼ cup margarine Directions: Spray 9x13-inch baking dish with cooking spray. Whisk eggs, 2 cups milk, green onions, onion powder, and salt together in a large bowl until well mixed. Layer half the Canadian bacon in the prepared baking dish. Spread English muffins over meat and top with remaining Canadian bacon. Pour egg mixture over casserole. Cover baking dish with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Sprinkle casserole with paprika; cover with aluminum foil. Bake in preheated oven until eggs are nearly set, about 30 minutes; remove foil. Continue baking until eggs are completely set, about 15 more minutes. Whisk hollandaise sauce mix with 1 cup milk in a saucepan. Add margarine and bring to a boil, stirring frequently. Reduce heat to medium-low, simmer, and stir until thickened, about 1 minute. Drizzle sauce over casserole to serve. |
AuthorThe cracked Crack Wise Staff-- warriors of the Funformation Movement. Archives
January 2024
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