One of the awesome things about bicycling is feeling the wind on your face; Smelling the fresh air; Sticking to your seat because you’re naked…
Yup. Naked biking is a “thing,” so to speak. It’s liberating and legal, apparently.
Whatever puts the spring in your pedal! Let’s say you’re down with all that nekkidness. You’ll be most happy in a place that celebrates your visible saddlebags. According to LawnStarter, the best place to naked bike is Chicago. Of course, the city hosts a World Naked Bike Ride every year.
Where does your city stack up when it comes to buff bicycling?
Learn more HERE. Why is it you can bike in the nude, but you can’t mow your lawn in the nude? Not that we want to, ever.
Don’t you wish you could have all your text messages in one place? In case you drop your phone in the toilet and we lose power and the internet forever and you’re so bored you need entertainment.
Well, we’re in luck!
Keepster says their way is the only way to archive and re-live sweet messages with your sweetie, funny jokes in group chats, those special moments you’ve cussed someone out (that would be ours).
Here’s how it works: you visit the Keepster website, download the desktop app, choose your book title, cover color, cover picture, and a dedication on the title page.
Might make for a novelty gift. Or a burn book. Whatevs.
For some, hot sauce is life. We like a nice heat factor from time-to-time—not the sear-our-brains-and-burn-the-butthole kind of heat. But hey, whatever floats your stomach.
If you’ve been meaning to have more sauce in your life, well, this is for you, Crack Wisers. Fuego Box is the hot sauce of the month club you crave.
Imagine keepin’ it hot long after Summer is over…
But if you’re not a fan of all that heat, Fuego Box has other flavor boxes for your palate. How about the Bourbon Barrel Aged Hot Hive Spicy Honey, or the Blazing BBQ Gift Box, or the Fuego Spice Co. Spicy Salt Trio?
Here’s how the whole subscription thing works:
Get sauced at fuegobox.com or on Amazon.
People will fight over anything. Notice we didn’t say debate. Because social media makes everybody a keyboard pugilist.
One knock-down-drag-out that will never die: Is a hot dog a sandwich?
Fifty-seven percent of those surveyed say the hot dog is a sandwich, according to RTA Outdoor Living. While technically we agree that a hot dog is a sandwich, we feel hot dogs and hamburgers are in their own category. Don’t ask our logic, just accept this Crack Wisedom and shut it!
Let’s say you’ve got too many wieners lying around, and you’re tired of putting one between the buns. Here’s a recipe to try, courtesy of Delish.
Hot Dog Fried Rice
1 tbsp. butter
1/2 Onion, finely chopped
3 medium carrots, peeled and diced
2 hot dogs, sliced into coins and halved
1 Garlic clove, minced
1 tbsp. sesame oil
2 1/2 c. cooked white rice
2 eggs, lightly beaten
2/3 c. frozen peas
2 tbsp. soy sauce
1 scallion, thinly sliced
In a large skillet over medium heat, melt butter. Add onions, carrots, and hot dogs and cook until onions become translucent, 3-5 minutes. Add garlic and cook until fragrant, about 1 minute. Add sesame oil to the pan and let heat 1 minute add the rice, and let cook for 3 minutes.
Push rice to one side of the pan and add the eggs, scrambling them in the pan and incorporating them into the rice when they are fully cooked. Add the peas and the soy sauce and stir to combine. Top with scallions if desired and serve.
The music of Disturbed has served as the best therapy over the years. And this band has been consistently awesome and on-point musically and lyrically since the start. We Crack Wisers use their music as the soundtrack for our angsty moments. Since we can’t go slap a bish, we need to have a release that won’t land us behind bars.
Disturbed’s latest, “Hey You” asks us to look in the mirror and answer the question: “Have you had enough of it?/How the blind are leading the blind.”
We for one, have. If you need to thrash out before you slap your manager or co-worker, watch this. Focus, release, and commence your work task.
Every day is a holiday. Literally. Not a stay-home-from-work holiday, but if you’ve got enough cash you can buy your own holiday. We’re cool with that, considering August 4th is National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day.
Our cookie eating began in our wee-youth days with the iconic Chips Ahoy! cookies. We remember taking these crunchy little demons and dunking them in our parents’ coffee, softening them for the ultimate treat.
So, we plan on getting our hands on this mashup between Chips Ahoy! and LA-based streetwear brand Market.
Cute, no? Perfect for this copycat recipe, courtesy of recipes.net:
Chips Ahoy Cookies
2 cups all-purpose flour
½ tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
½ cup brown sugar, packed
½ cup granulated sugar
¾ cup vegetable shortening
¾ tsp vanilla extract
1 egg white, large
2 tsp water, warm
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
Bring all ingredients to room temperature. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Sift the flour, salt, and baking soda in a bowl and set aside. Use a mixer to mix the two sugars and shortening. When mixture is creamy, add the vanilla and egg white. Beat until pale and fully incorporated. Fold the flour mixture ½ cup at a time, while gradually adding two teaspoons of warm water to mix the flour mixture. Fold in chocolate chips. As the dough gets thicker you may want to mix by hand.
Grease baking tray and line with parchment paper.
Roll dough into 2-inch balls and gently press down on baking tray to shape. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes until golden brown. Remove from oven and let cool before serving.
Everybody could use a true boy in their life. That go-to dude. The one that’s got your back. The one that brings the meat.
We all love a good cookout. But sometimes the weather doesn’t cooperate. And sometimes you’re just too unmotivated to put on your Grill Master hat. It’s all good. Truboy BBQ handles the meat—and sticks it to you.
Hit up their website and choose your BBQ. They smoke it and deliver. You heat and eat. Authentic Texas BBQ without going to Texas, or smoking yourself out of your own backyard!
Here’s a side you can serve with your effortless pork.
*recipe courtesy of Tastes of Lizzy T
8 ounces Jiffy Corn Muffin mix
15 ounces whole kernel corn (drained)
15 ounces creamed corn (not drained)
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup melted butter
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. In a bowl, mix all of the ingredients together and pour into a greased 8″x8″ baking pan. Cook uncovered for 45-50 minutes or until lightly browned.
Remote work has its advantages: Wearing your comfy clothes. Snacking at-will. Saving on gas money. Listening to gangsta rap at loud volumes without uptight-Sarah asking you to turn it down.
Remote work has its disadvantages: Isolation. Sloppiness. Fat-assness.
Let’s focus on the fat-assness part. Pre-pandemic, office workers frequently took breaks “for their health”. For some, there’s no one to get away from. So, the walking or taking the stairs, or standing to stretch has gone away. And that’s not good.
Here are some ways to de-stress at your desk—no matter where your desk is nowadays, courtesy of elite athlete and stuff-knower, Dr. Haley Perlus.
1. Neck and Shoulder Stretches
Roll your chair away from your desk. Starting with your head facing forward, using your hand, gently stretch your head and neck to the left and right
Practice this simple de-stressing technique: take a deep breath and shrug your shoulders as high as you can, and gently lower them, while breathing out deeply.
Crack Wisedom: Don’t imagine snapping the neck of that annoying co-worker you have to see on your Zooms. We don’t want you snapping your own neck. Theirs, yes.
2. Hand and Forearm Stretches
Continuous typing can lead to stress injuries such as carpal tunnel syndrome. Help reduce the chances of an injury by giving your hands and fingers a break.
Roll back from your desk and allow your hands to fall to your sides. Roll your wrists in a clockwise and counter-clockwise direction. Shake them out to relieve any tension
Stretch your forearms by flexing your palms towards your arms, gently increasing the stretch with your other hand. Then extend your palm away from your arm, using your other hand to stretch the top of your hand towards your forearm. You should feel a stretch throughout the underside of your arm.
Crack Wisedom: Think of how good your solo time will be with relaxed wrists and forearms!
3. Back Stretches
Sitting for long periods at a time is unnatural and can create pressure, especially in the lower back region. Haley recommends standing and walking as often as possible
When standing, do a simple back stretch by bending at the waist and letting your arms lower towards the ground. Try to release all tension in your back and slowly “roll up,” one vertebra at a time
If you don’t have a back injury, work on improving your range of motion by doing gentle torso twists, and rotating your trunk several times to help “loosen up.”
Crack Wisedom: The one time where it’s acceptable to be loose. Wink, wink.
4. Leg Stretches
Sitting for long periods of time also cause blood to pool in your lower legs. Haley says getting moving, even walking around the block, can help improve circulation and “wake up” tired legs
Simple leg stretches such as calf raises, quad stretches, and hamstring stretches can all be done in the comfort of your cubicle or desk area
If you feel yourself getting drowsy at your desk, a neat trick you can try are leg lifts: from a sitting position, raise your foot 3-4 inches off the ground and hold it. You will start to feel a burn – keep going until your muscle gives out, repeat on the other side.
Crack Wisedom: A bad burn is having too many jalapeños on your tacos…
Or girls. Or whatever. Indulge the pun because it’s worth it if you’re a pet parent. You may be a subscription box person. Heck, there are a wide variety of things you can get sent to you monthly. Now, your beloved fur baby gets to have some fun. And—it saves you the hassle of scrambling to get stuff for them. Or forgetting to get the things they need.
PetFriendly delivers your pet’s meds to your door every month. Each subscription is tailored for your pet’s specific needs. Products are personalized with your baby’s name and photo, and each shipment is timed to arrive when needed.
A subscription runs $12/month for one pet, with discounts if you’ve got more fur babies.
Tick their tick meds and more off your list and breathe a sigh of relief.
State Fairs are back, baby! And so many memories are associated with going to the fair. Family bonding. The rides. Cute, smelly animals. Sweating from places you shouldn’t. And--the food.
Yes, food is the #1 reason people love going to fairs—whether it’s the community fair or the state fair.
So, why not start pre-gaming for the fair with a tasty state fair-inspired treat you can whip up at home?
Crack Wise Nug: July 11th is National State Fair Food Day. There’s your excuse.
Deep Fried Oreos
*recipe courtesy of cookiesandcups.com
2 quarts (approximate) vegetable oil for frying
1 cup Bisquick
2/3 cup milk
1 teaspoon vegetable oil
15 Oreo cookies
Powdered sugar for dusting
Fill a deep skillet or Dutch Oven 2 – 3 inches deep with vegetable oil. Heat the vegetable oil over medium heat until it reaches 350°F.
While the oil is heating, whisk the Bisquick, milk, 1 teaspoon vegetable oil, and egg together. Line a large plate with paper towels and set aside. Working in batches of 3, drop each Oreo into the batter, and using a fork, remove the Oreo from the batter, tapping off excess, and place directly into the hot oil. Fry the Oreos 3 minutes on each side until golden brown. Using a slotted spoon, remove the fried Oreos from the oil and transfer to lined plate to absorb excess oil. When the Oreos have cooled, and are no longer hot, dust with powdered sugar.
The cracked Crack Wise Staff-- warriors of the Funformation Movement.