Funformation
|
|
How's your cube game looking? When we think "cubes" we think of "ice", or "Rubik's" or perhaps "cheese." And if we're old school, we're still using ice cube trays. Imagine Ice cube trays of all cube sizes, and not just for use in the freezer. How 'bout cubing things in the oven, too? We know. Mind. Blown. Think of the possibilities: pre-portioned foods like chilis, stews, soups, meatloaves, and more stored in the freezer in non-wastable-sized portions, then popped in the oven for delicious goodness. Souper Cubes come in 2 cups, 1 cup, 1/2 cup, and 2 tablespoon portions. The 100% food-grade silicone containers are BPA free and can be frozen or baked up to 415 degrees F. Nifty! Well, if we're gonna impulse buy this, we're gonna put it to good use. Here's a tasty recipe from Souper Cubes. No Bake Cookies and Cream Cheesecake Ice Cream Bars Ingredients: Cookie Crust: 20 Oreo cookies 1 stick (½ cup) unsalted butter, melted Filling: 12 Oreo cookies 16 ounces (2 packages) cream cheese, at room temperature ¼ cup granulated sugar ¼ cup powdered sugar 1 tablespoon lemon juice ½ teaspoon vanilla extract ⅛ teaspoon salt 2 cups cold heavy cream Instructions: To prepare crust: Add 20 Oreo cookies to the bowl of a food processor. Blend, scraping down the sides of the bowl as necessary, until fine crumbs form. Drizzle in ½ cup melted butter and pulse until the mixture looks like wet sand. Set aside. To prepare filling: Place 12 Oreo cookies in a zip top bag and crush with a meat mallet, rolling pin, or heavy glass. Set aside. Beat 16 oz (2 packages) cream cheese, ¼ cup sugar, ¼ cup powdered sugar, 1 Tbsp, ½ teaspoon vanilla extract, and ⅛ teaspoon salt in the bowl of a stand mixer with the paddle attachment or in a large bowl with a hand mixer until fully incorporated and resembling a paste. If using a stand mixer, swap the paddle attachment for the whisk attachment. Add 2 cups heavy cream to the cream cheese mixture in the bowl. Whisk on low until combined, then increase the speed to medium and mix until the filling is whipped, 3 to 4 minutes. Stir in the reserved bag of crushed Oreo cookies. To assemble cheesecakes: Place a small amount of the cookie crust mixture to just cover the bottom of the Souper Cubes tray wells. Pat down the crust with the back of a spoon, a small rubber spatula, or a clean finger. Top with the cheesecake filling and spread evenly across the crust. Place a lid on each tray and freeze overnight. He's baaaack! Peter Gabriel has dropped new music for the first time in 20 years. "Panopticom" is the first song from his forthcoming album i/o, and it does not disappoint. Upbeat guitars, haunting electronic stylings, and all the mood and vibe one would expect from this twice-inducted Rock and Roll Hall of Famer. Check it out: And check out Gabriel on the road this summer: Sept. 8 - Quebec City, Quebec @ Videotron Centre Sept. 9 - Ottawa, Ontario @ Canadian Tire Centre Sept. 11 - Toronto, Ontario @ Scotiabank Arena Sept. 13 - Montreal, Quebec @ Bell Centre Sept. 14 - Boston, Massachusetts @ TD Garden Sept. 16 - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania @ Wells Fargo Center Sept. 18 - New York, New York @ Madison Square Garden Sept. 20 - Washington, D.C. @ Capital One Arena Sept. 22 - Buffalo, N.Y. @ KeyBank Center Sept. 23 - Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania @ PPG Paints Arena Sept 25 - Columbus, Ohio @ Nationwide Arena Sept. 27 - Cleveland, Ohio @ Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse Sept. 29 - Detroit, Michigan @ Little Caesars Arena Sept. 30 - Chicago, Illinois @ United Center Oct. 2 - Milwaukee, Wisconsin @ Fiserv Forum Oct. 3 - St. Paul, Minnesota @ Xcel Energy Center Oct. 7 - Vancouver, British Columbia @ Rogers Arena Oct. 8 - Seattle, Washington @ Climate Pledge Arena Oct. 11 - San Francisco, California @ Chase Center Oct. 13 - Los Angeles, California @ Kia Forum Oct. 14 - Palm Springs, California @ Acrisure Arena Oct. 16 - Denver, Colorado @ Ball Arena Oct. 18 - Austin, Texas @ Moody Center Oct. 19 - Dallas, Texas @ American Airlines Center Oct. 21 - Houston, Texas @ Toyota Center They don't call it the "great outdoors" for nothing. Camping really grew in popularity during the lockdown, and it's not losing any steam. LawnLove crunched the numbers to find the best places to leave conveniences behind and connect with nature. They compared the 50 states based on 25 metrics, such as campsite access, acreage, and trails.They also considered safety, supplies, camper satisfaction, and affordability. The West Coast-- California and Washington-- take the top two spots. But... you need to be a real-deal camper to enjoy the experience. Both states lack phone coverage and have high rates of park deaths. California holds the record for the most park deaths between 2010 and 2020 at 300. Always check the weather before venturing out, and bring enough water to last your journey. Let's not turn into a Lifetime movie, okay? Perhaps you just want to camp near your current homestead, or even in the backyard. We vote for backyard camping because we're going to end up sleeping inside. Anywho, here's a tasty campfire breakfast you can whip up, courtesy of Fresh Off the Grid. Sausage Breakfast Sandwiches Ingredients: SAUSAGE PATTIES 1 pound ground pork 2 teaspoons dried herbs: thyme, rosemary, sage, etc 1 teaspoon salt SRIRACHA HONEY SAUCE ½ cup honey 2 tablespoons Sriracha SANDWICH ASSEMBLY 6 eggs 6 slices cheese 6 English muffins Instructions: PREP THE SAUSAGES: Mix the ground pork, herbs, and salt in a large bowl until thoroughly combined. Form into 6 equal sized patties, keeping in mind that they will shrink slightly while cooking. PREP THE SAUCE: Combine the honey and sriracha in a small bowl and stir together. Set aside. COOK: Heat a griddle or skillet over your campfire or stove top. Once hot, place the sausages on the surface and cook until browned, 2-3 minutes. Flip and cook the other side until browned, 2-3 minutes more. Meanwhile, cook the eggs as desired and toast the English muffins. ASSEMBLE & SERVE: Spread the Sriracha honey sauce on the English muffins, then layer with a sausage patty, egg, and slice of cheese. Imagine we're whispering right now. Because you had a rough go of it yesterday. Yes, you pretended you were Irish. But you're not, and that cute little leprechaun done kicked your ass. Well, here's a little hair of the dog, Irish style. Hopefully, this will ease you back into the living. Irish CoffeeIngredients: 1½ to 2 oz Irish whiskey, to taste 4 oz fresh-brewed coffee 1 tablespoon brown sugar 2 oz heavy cream, very cold Unsweetened cocoa powder, for garnish Instructions: Fill the cups with hot water to warm them up. Whip the cold cream until thick, but not stiff; it should still be able to run off of a spoon. Set aside. Tip: The key to success for whipped cream is to keep it very cold, so put your whisk and a stainless steel bowl in the freezer for 10 minutes before. Pour the warm water out of the coffee mugs. Fill ¾ full with coffee, add the brown sugar and stir well until dissolved. Add a few drops of coffee into the whipped cream and stir to combine. Add the whiskey into coffee and stir to combine. Hold a spoon upside down over the coffee, the tip touching the glass edge and the surface of coffee. Gently pour the cream over the back of the spoon, allowing it to gently pool on top of the coffee; filling to the top of the mug. Do not stir. You should obtain a lovely layering that looks like a pint of Guiness! Sprinkle cocoa powder over the cream. It blows out there. Seriously. It's officially tornado season in the U.S. which means don't be a fool-- know what to look for and what to do. Here's what to look for: Dark skies, possibly tinted green A long, rotating cloud, known as a funnel Roaring noises Hail Debris Let's say those boxes are all checked. Now what? Designate a shelter – Establish shelter zones at home and work. If your home has a safe room, you already have a designated emergency shelter, otherwise look for a secure place underground, like a basement or cellar. If these options aren't available, choose a small room without windows, such as a closet, on the lowest level of the structure. Crack Wisedom: Put some damn booze in that safe room! Create an emergency kit — Kits should include canned food, bottled water, essential medications, blankets, a radio, flashlights, batteries and spare clothes. Crack Wisedom: You want to look good for your closeup on the TV news. Charge all cell phones and have back-up batteries – Your electricity may go out and having a phone to call for emergency services or check up on loved ones will be key. A portable backup battery charger can be used to recharge your phone or other devices needed during the storm, such as a radio or flashlight. Crack Wisedom: If you don't post your happenings on the socials, it didn't happen. All wise-cracking aside. Be prepared. Thanks to ServiceMaster Restore for the safety (just the) tips. Whether you're a real-deal golfer, casual golfer, or a putter, this just seems like a ton of fun. Your own putting green. Indoors. Outdoors. Anywhere you go, it can go with you. Putt-A-Bout is a high-quality putting surface that always stays smooth. It has built-in sand trap cutouts to catch missed shots with non-skid backing. Available in 5 difference sizes and-- personalization is available. That means we can pretend to be a great golfer, or create our own mini-golf course in our living room. The possibilities are endless. Get yours HERE. And invite us over. We'll make the drinks. Is anybody really surprised that California is THE place for wine in the U.S.? Of course not. Is anyone surprised that Napa is the #1 wine county in Cali? Again, nope. LawnStarter has the breakdown on how to properly do a California wine tour, in case you're interested. In the meantime, if you can't enjoy the finer wines from the West-- crack open your favorite under-20-bucks brand and enjoy this dip with it. At least you'll feel a little bit bougie. Crab Rangoon Dip*recipe courtesy of BakeMeSomeSugar.com Ingredients: 4 oz cream cheese softened 1/4 cup greek yogurt 3 Tablespoons mayonnaise 8 oz crab meat or as desired 1 cup cheddar cheese 1/2 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce 1/2 teaspoon soy sauce 1 1/2 teaspoons sesame oil or to taste 1 teaspoon dehydrated garlic to taste - Salt or 1/4 cup parmesan cheese your preference (do not add both) Hot sauce to taste Green onions optional garnish 3 cups oil of choice peanut or vegetable 1 package wonton wrappers Instructions: Preheat oven to 350F. Then grease your baking dish and set it aside. Then combine your Greek yogurt, cream cheese, mayo, and 1/2 cup of cheese, soy sauce, sesame oil, Worcestershire sauce, garlic, and your hot sauce. Feel free to taste and adjust seasoning to your liking. Next fold in your crab meat. Once well mixed, pour the dip into the oven-safe dish and top with your leftover shredded cheese. Bake for 10 minutes, or until your cheese is slightly golden brown. While the dip is baking, start working on your wonton chips. Heat oil in a deep fryer or a heavy pot (like a dutch oven). Or opt for the air fryer method below. Slice wonton wrappers into triangles (Cut in half diagonally) then fry a few at a time in the hot oil. Make sure they have room and flip after 30 seconds on one side. Place cooked wonton chips on a plate that is lined with a paper towel. Pull hot crab dip from oven, garnish with sliced green onions and serve with wonton chips. Air Fryer Wontons | Prep your wontons as directed and spritz with oil. Place in your air fryer, in a single layer. Heat at 350 degrees for 2-3 minutes, and then flip and cook until they are evenly browned. Memories of childhood-- especially Summer-- wouldn't be complete without tossing a frisbee, spending endless moments keeping that hula hoop up, or pretending to be a superhero while staying cool on that slip n slide. We've got Wham-O to thank for that. And the company is celebrating 75 years of fun times for kids of all ages. Richard Knerr and Arthur "Spud" Melin founded the company in 1948. They sold slingshots and other toys at first, then grew into a big ol' company with lots of fun offerings. We browsed their website, because we're big kids who are looking forward to fun Summer activities. Plus, we have insurance. So bring on that slip n slide, foam party and other Wham-O things that we probably shouldn't mix with some adult beverages but most likely will. Pizza is a staple. We love it. We eat it for breakfast. We eat it after a night of cocktailing. We debate the toppings, crust thickness, and who's got the best pie. Well, we know that NYC is always going to top the list for pizza lovers. But let's talk about dessert pizza. Imagine eating a pie, having a dessert pie, and then... Anywho, we turn to our friends at Pillsbury for this sweet, happy ending. Chocolate-Hazelnut Pizza Ingredients: 1 can (13.8 oz) refrigerated Pillsbury™ Classic Crust Pizza Crust 1/2 cup hazelnut spread with cocoa 1/4 cup dark chocolate chips 2 tablespoons semisweet chocolate chips 2 tablespoons white vanilla baking chips 1 teaspoon vegetable oil 1/4 cup hazelnuts (filberts), toasted, skins removed, chopped Instructions: Heat oven to 400°F. Grease 12-inch pizza pan with shortening, or spray with cooking spray. Unroll dough in pan. Starting at center, press out dough with hands, forming 1/2-inch rim. Bake 12 to 15 minutes or until golden brown. Immediately spread with hazelnut spread; sprinkle with dark chocolate and semisweet chocolate chips. Bake 1 to 2 minutes longer or just until chocolate begins to melt. In small microwavable bowl, microwave white vanilla baking chips and vegetable oil uncovered on High 30 to 60 seconds, stirring every 15 seconds, until melted. Sprinkle hazelnuts on pizza. Drizzle with melted white chips. Cool 5 minutes. Cut into wedges. Serve warm. In case you're curious, here's some other pizza stats courtesy of LawnStarter. When we first saw the subject of an email we received, we thought it read: "Secret MASSAGE Candles". We were like, "what!?!?" A candle that will massage us? Then we re-read the subject line, revealing the true words: "Secret MESSAGE Candles". Quite different, but cool. Candles by Celsius54 do all the talking for you. As the wax melts, a secret message is slowly revealed at the bottom of the glass holder. What a tease! Messages include: You Light My Fire You’re Smoking Hot You Are Loved You Light Up Every Room You’re My Spark In The Dark Meow! And they're only $15. May lead to that massage after all... Shop HERE. |
AuthorThe cracked Crack Wise Staff-- warriors of the Funformation Movement. Archives
March 2023
Categories
All
|