“Turnabout is fair play” is one of those phrases we liken to “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander”. What we’re trying to say is: “We’re getting you back.” But in this case, it’s a little creepy. If you’re looking for something different to get dad for his day, why not some man undies from Cariloha? What caught our eye is the image on the left. Of men in their undies. Which we’d like to have delivered to us on Father’s Day for some “call me daddy” time. But we at Crack Wise had Cariloha underwear pitched to us for Father’s Day. We really don’t want to imagine our dad in underwear at any time for any reason. Ever. If you can stay away from that mental dark side, Cariloha men’s under things are pretty cool. Literally. Made of viscose from bamboo, moisture-wicking technology helps keep dad’s “boys” fresh all day. Vurp. They come in nifty prints and schemes, or solids, and are priced from $22 to $28. The turnabout here is that your parents probs bought you underwear for your birthday and now it’s your turn to buy… nope. Still struggling with the thought of gifting dad with drawers knowing it will be some kind of AARP seduction moment around 4 pm. And if those thoughts weren’t bad enough, this: Who had the task of taking a scrotal temp to determine these shorts are cooling? Seriously. Kids are expensive: diapers; food; clothing; education… but aren’t they worth it? And this cute little dress from Posh Peanut just makes us… GAH! As a kid, we were all about horses, so this would’ve been perfect. And the price is acceptable at $29.25, considering “posh” is in the name. We’re kind of jelly that there isn’t a Posh Coconut, or something like that, for bigger girls. But we did find this: Love the garment name for this: Glamorous Milkmaid Maxi Dress. Cuz farming needs more glamour… Tie dyeing is all the rage, with people bored from sheltering at home and needing a project, or from people sheltering at home and needing a wardrobe refresher. No wonder Mila Kunis was sporting a cool tie dye sweatshirt from Splendid on a video she shot with her hubs Ashton Kutcher. Of course, that sweatshirt cost her $148. Uhmmmm… do you know how much grub we could get on DoorDash for $148? Lookie here at these tie dye kits you can get on Amazon: Yeah, tie dyeing takes some effort… But, you’ve got some time on your hands… Don’t make your co-workers say WTH because your WFH (Work From Home) fashion is, well… hideous. Granted, you don’t need to put on the heels and hose. Or even a bra. But perhaps you could appear as if you showered recently and washed your clothes. Bohme has some super cute styles that can actually transition to life outside your four walls. Prices are decent, in our Crack Wise opinion. Plus, you’ve got some stimulus cash… Silk and satin are beautiful fabrics. As pieces of clothing? Hell-to-the-no. Why? You need the smoothest, lack-of-lumps body to wear a silk dress. A silk scarf is the only acceptable piece of silk clothing… But kudos to whomever can pull-off and afford this dress from Silk Laundry: At least it’s discounted to $198.75. Whew! We’ll only have to give up our toilet paper budget for this dress. If you must silky/satin up your life, why not choose this option from Shein (found on Amazon)? This is at least a sexier choice for a fraction of the price: Starting at $15.99. Both options are dangerous for boob slippage, but at least this one looks dressier than quarantine-y. Quite frankly, when we think “silk clothing” we think napkins at a fancy restaurant for whatever reason. Sunny days require some bomb shades. Sofia Vergara loves her 19-34 Olive Sunglasses with Green Lens. And she can afford the $145 price tag. While we’d love to have a 1/1,000,000th of her fabulousness, our bank account is equally decimal. So… we found these fashionable affordable alternative aviator glasses. Ladies are all fierce and fabulous—even on days when we’re rockin’ yoga pants and our hair is in a bun. The warrior is always within. Well, put that warrior on display with the latest collab between Disney and Ruthie Davis—The Mulan Warrior Collection. This collection of footwear embodies the fearless, inner strength of the film's protagonist. "Mulan is my personal favorite Disney character because she is a warrior heroine with a strong sense of honor and spirit. I am inspired by her courage, perseverance and drive. She is a force to be reckoned with and this collection reflects that," said Ruthie Davis, founder. "These sporty, edgy styles armor up women to feel confident as they head out each day to fight for their beliefs and goals." We’ll be battling ourselves just trying to stand upright with the first two pairs. The boots and sneaks—we could rock those—if we had the cash. The lowest price shoe is $398. Our inner warrior just said she’d kick our ass if we dropped that kind of money, so… And we don’t mean the extra pounds. Those are beautifully earned since you incubated a human, you super mom! We’re talking the baby bag that you carry your baby’s stuff in. You could try to channel your inner Eva Longoria with this Riley Versa Oh Baby bag: If you want to drop $295! Couldn’t you spend that on something better, like diapers? We’re disappointed because we expected more bag for the buck. This thing is just, plain. And boring. Sure, some may say “chic”. But we’re not. Look how adorbs this is. And, it’s seven pieces for $37.50 on Amazon. Or, if you’re a chic chick—this: A little fancier. But still saving on the bucks. $38.99 on Amazon. Chic-ching! No matter what, we believe that there's a piece of us that exists inside that speaks to us. That tells us we're a shining little star. Stars are cool, right? Apparently, though, we need the money of a real-life twinkling celebrity in order to afford these cute leggings from Ultracor. $198 is a lot to feel all star-dusty-fabulous. Considering the shape we're in, we're gonna stretch those stars into a gigantic broke-down galaxy. So... let's get starry and save some cash with these. These are similar. And cheaper. $22.99 for the most expensive. Maybe with all the money we save we could buy an actual star... Maybe you got proposed to for Valentine’s Day. Congrats! Now it’s time to get into planning mode. So, how ‘bout that dress? Designer Madeline Gardner has the inside scoop on what’s trending for the bride in 2020. Seriously. She’s been crafting the most beautiful bridal gowns, prom, and Quinceanera dresses for more than 25 years. Oh—and she sketched Meghan Markle’s wedding gowns from the TV coverage, and had them produced and available within 10 days of the royal wedding. Gardner says to watch for: 1. Plunging Backs and Plunging v-necklines. 2. Whimsical Skirts. Fairytale weddings are very popular. 3. Ball Gowns! Think "Tara" large, whooshing and whirling or layers of soft tulle with flowing, layered skirts. 4. Super Wow, dramatic trains that tell a story. Remember Meghan Markle's veil featuring gorgeous, intricate embroidery specifically with the signature flowers from all of the countries in the British Commonwealth. Well, since then, brides have been eyeing sweep and fishtail to statement-making trains. Personalization and customization is happening where brides are adding touching details to the fabric of their wedding dress. 5. Beyond the Veil. Sophisticated, classic silhouettes are trending. Paired with lace-edged, long dramatic statement veils. Nostalgic or embellished, veils are available in different lengths, shapes and color. 6. Voluminous Puff sleeves. Dreamy. Romantic. Detachable. 7. Sexy, lingerie bodices. See-through ideal for beach and beachy weddings. Find these gorgeous gowns on Morilee’s website. Go get ‘em, girls. Enjoy your picture-perfect day—because it’s going to be no matter what! |
AuthorHaus of V is a creative collective that shares a similar mindset -- with a twist. Archives
June 2020
Categories
All
|