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Brooke Shields has been making hearts flutter for, like, ever… what 70s-era little girl didn’t want to be Brooke in her Calvin Klein Jeans? And what hot-blooded American didn’t want to get her out of those same jeans? Even though she was only 15 at the time, but, whatever... So, when Brooke was snapped wearing these Jen7 7 for All Mankind Slim Jeans, well, day-um!  Photo Credit: Michael Simon We’re feeling some bias here. We saw these cute maternity jeans with a soft stretch panel that sits comfortably under a baby bump and wondered: “Why couldn’t we wear these?”  Seriously. We’re about five months preggo with a food baby. Doesn’t that count? We’re tired of low-rise and skinny jeans. We want sit-on-the-couch-eating-Fritos jeans. Perhaps a pair with a stretchy waist the sits just below the boob sag… Like what you read here? Click on the HOME page and subscribe today to unlock premium, members-only content—some of which you won’t find any place else on the internet! Start with your FREE 10-day trial. Who doesn’t dig a pair of ripped jeans? Instant, cool, rockstar cred! Men and women have been donning ripped leg coverings forever. We prefer earning ours—you know, from years of wear-and-tear because they’re your favorite pair (and they still fit—bonus!) We scoff at purchasing ripped denim because of the asinine price tag. Case in point: Socialite’s Kendall High Waist Slim Jean in Sin City. Retail price: $189.  They look all comfy (we’re becoming fans of high-waisted, cuz muffin tops are only delicious when they’re actual muffins.) They look tres chic with the fringy-stuff on the bottom. But there is no way we’re spending this much on a pair of jeans—unless they magically massage our butt cheeks (don’t judge.) Here’s an acceptable pair for you ladies, courtesy of Old Navy.  High rise: check Ripped: check (in two places!) Fringe: nope Price tag: Win!!! On sale for $35. With the extra money, you can buy a pair of scissors to make the leg fringe, if you desire. Don’t get “ripped” off… yeah, you can slap us for that one. Like what you read here? Click on the HOME page and subscribe today to unlock premium, members-only content—some of which you won’t find any place else on the internet! Start with your FREE 10-day trial. When famous people wear stuff, some other people (with way less money and fame) want to wear that famous-people-stuff. Dudes are not immune to this desire. If you want to walk with a little swag like you’re some baller, then you may want to crack open that wallet and buy this ensemble from Mercy & Loyal that famous-person Milo Manheim is wearing.  Layer the Classic Crew Tee ($60) under the Reverse Raglan Sweatshirt ($105) and throw on the Classic Blue Jeans ($155). A total cost of: $320. What else could you buy for $320? A lot of booze and snacks. But… don’t you want that swag more? Buyer beware. You may turn back into a height-challenged commoner with a beer gut when you take these duds off. Like what you read here? Click on the HOME page and subscribe today to unlock premium, members-only content—some of which you won’t find any place else on the internet! Start with your FREE 10-day trial. We all have goals in life. Ours is to be so damned fashionable, that it’s so exhausting that we need to lie down like actress Heather Morris.  Apparently, her OLIVIA High Rise Skinny Jeans inspire a lackadaisical attitude. That’s probably true for famous people. But for common folk like us, we’re probably lying down in these jeans because they’re too tight after eating too many slices of pizza and seven-layer dip. These jeans would make our gluttony look… acceptable? |
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