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Fierce

5/18/2020

 
With Memorial Day right around the corner as the “unofficial” kick-off to summer, it’s time to think swimwear. Which may be more dreaded this year because of that #Quarantine15. But who cares.

This number from Garnet Hill is pretty sweet.
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The Playa Ruffle Surplice One-Piece will set you back $139, but most swimwear is outrageous. We’re getting to the point we may wear our underwear instead…

Anywho, we dig the fringe because it’s a great distraction tactic to the beach ball that is resting just below…

P.S. This swimsuit kind of rocks a Raquel Welsh vibe… like we’re her older, softer sister named Rochelle. The one who ate all the Ho-Hos… 

WFH

4/20/2020

 
Don’t make your co-workers say WTH because your WFH (Work From Home) fashion is, well… hideous.

Granted, you don’t need to put on the heels and hose. Or even a bra. But perhaps you could appear as if you showered recently and washed your clothes.

Bohme has some super cute styles that can actually transition to life outside your four walls.
​Prices are decent, in our Crack Wise opinion. Plus, you’ve got some stimulus cash…

Silky Smooth

4/6/2020

 
Silk and satin are beautiful fabrics. As pieces of clothing? Hell-to-the-no.

Why? You need the smoothest, lack-of-lumps body to wear a silk dress. A silk scarf is the only acceptable piece of silk clothing…

But kudos to whomever can pull-off and afford this dress from Silk Laundry:
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At least it’s discounted to $198.75. Whew! We’ll only have to give up our toilet paper budget for this dress.

If you must silky/satin up your life, why not choose this option from Shein (found on Amazon)?
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​This is at least a sexier choice for a fraction of the price: Starting at $15.99.

Both options are dangerous for boob slippage, but at least this one looks dressier than quarantine-y.

Quite frankly, when we think “silk clothing” we think napkins at a fancy restaurant for whatever reason.

Shady

3/24/2020

 
Sunny days require some bomb shades. Sofia Vergara loves her 19-34 Olive Sunglasses with Green Lens.
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And she can afford the $145 price tag. While we’d love to have a 1/1,000,000th of her fabulousness, our bank account is equally decimal.

So… we found these fashionable affordable alternative aviator glasses.
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And only $13.98 on the Amazon.

Our future’s so bright…
​

We’re All Warriors

3/17/2020

 
Ladies are all fierce and fabulous—even on days when we’re rockin’ yoga pants and our hair is in a bun. The warrior is always within. Well, put that warrior on display with the latest collab between Disney and Ruthie Davis—The Mulan Warrior Collection.

This collection of footwear embodies the fearless, inner strength of the film's protagonist.

"Mulan is my personal favorite Disney character because she is a warrior heroine with a strong sense of honor and spirit. I am inspired by her courage, perseverance and drive. She is a force to be reckoned with and this collection reflects that," said Ruthie Davis, founder. "These sporty, edgy styles armor up women to feel confident as they head out each day to fight for their beliefs and goals."​
We’ll be battling ourselves just trying to stand upright with the first two pairs. The boots and sneaks—we could rock those—if we had the cash. The lowest price shoe is $398.

Our inner warrior just said she’d kick our ass if we dropped that kind of money, so…

Seeing Stars

3/2/2020

 
No matter what, we believe that there's a piece of us that exists inside that speaks to us. That tells us we're a shining little star. Stars are cool, right? Apparently, though, we need the money of a real-life twinkling celebrity in order to afford these cute leggings from Ultracor. 
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$198 is a lot to feel all star-dusty-fabulous. Considering the shape we're in, we're gonna stretch those stars into a gigantic broke-down galaxy. So... let's get starry and save some cash with these. 
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​These are similar. And cheaper. $22.99 for the most expensive. Maybe with all the money we save we could buy an actual star...
​


This Socks!

2/5/2020

 
If you only give half a damn about Valentine’s Day, make that “damn” count with these affordable, adorbs socks from MeMoi!
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​Novelty socks are the only cool thing about winter, seriously. At only $6 a pair, you can V gift yourself multiple sampler boxes of chocolates when they go on clearance on the 15th.

P.S. The tights cost a little more. Guess it depends on how true your love really is...

Not on the White Track

10/3/2019

 
A white tee and jeans. The classic combo that transcends genders, ages. But we're gonna stop your fashion fantasy right there. Because this little white tee is just too damned expensive.

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The Cass Crop Tee from Splendid is $48. Forty-eight dollars? And there's less material? Nope.

Get this instead.
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​A soft cotton blend that's breathable, and only $5! Go get it!

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Me-ternity

9/23/2019

 
We’re feeling some bias here. We saw these cute maternity jeans with a soft stretch panel that sits comfortably under a baby bump and wondered: “Why couldn’t we wear these?”
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​Seriously. We’re about five months preggo with a food baby. Doesn’t that count? We’re  tired of low-rise and skinny jeans. We want sit-on-the-couch-eating-Fritos jeans. Perhaps a pair with a stretchy waist the sits just below the boob sag…

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Bag It

9/16/2019

 
At one time, we were the Queen of Handbags. All shapes and sizes. But—we were and still are a bargain shopper. And, our needs have changed. We are envious of those babes that can carry around a small bag like this one that’s all the rage from Vagabond:​
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​It comes in a variety of colors:
For one, we can’t handle the price tag: $175. For two, this purse is too friggin’ small. Why? Because now that we’re older, we have more stuff we need to carry. Because if we don’t carry something, we’ll need it. Bottle of Tylenol. Need. Hair oil. Need. Nail clipper. Need. We grown-ass women with grown-asses and grown handbags. Actually, we need totes. 24/7.

Like this one from Betsey Johnson:
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But if you’re all fashionable-and-skinny-and-stuff, then grab a Vagabond bag. We’ll live happily ever after digging for our keys and hand sanitizer. 

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