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We admit it. We are complete ignoramuses when it comes to fashion designers. It’s because we don’t have the kind of jack required to be designer-ed up, nor the desire. So when we saw what this collection was priced at, we shouted: “What the f&ck!?!?”
Rich people would be richer if they wouldn’t drop $6,985 on a Burgundy Chrysants Flower Robe from Charlene Tang. 
This robe is made-to-order and takes seven-to-14 days to construct. Still doesn’t justify a robe we’d sit around and get Froot Loops crumbs on. Want pajamas? Get ready to drop nearly $4,000—because thetop and pants are separately priced. Again, custom-made. Blah, blah, blah. Mom made all our clothes from those McCall’s Patterns. Yes, we got picked on. But we learned how to punch, and we had money for college. Boom! We can afford Tang (do they even still make that stuff?) We’ll spend money on something tangy because we like a little zing. Suppose the only tang this Tang benefits is the kind a man can buy with a fat wallet…
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Everything is going organic—including men’s underwear. Tired of seeing the Swiss-cheese-holey undies in the draw? Or the questionably “marked” pair? Then snag these snazzy styles from Marc Skid. Yes, you saw that correctly. Every pair is made from organic Pima cotton with a waistband created from up-cycled plastic water bottles from landfills. That’s nifty. On top of that, your underwear is charitable. Buy a pair, and $4 will be donated to saving the planet. By the way, the company name is a call-to-action to “Make your Marc on the world.” Right after we have our avocado toast… *Ladies-- you have organic undie choices, too. Like what you read here? Click on the HOME page and subscribe today to unlock premium, members-only content—some of which you won’t find any place else on the internet! Start with your FREE 10-day trial. We’re just gonna drop this here:  No doubt this chick is smokin’ hot. No doubt we’d look like an extra-large silk pillow. But we seriously thought this was a robe. Because the first time we saw this dress, a Victoria’s Secret model was wearing it to a store event and so we thought V.S. was selling it. Nope. Thank Hello Molly for this number. The dress, named Talking to You has received 5-star reviews from satisfied customers. But the consensus is, you need some large melon-action to make this work. The vote around the office is we’re torn about this dress. But we did come up with this... Crack Wise randos: We’re blaming Hefner for this one. Dude wore his robe 24/7. Aren’t you going to slide off your seat? One good wind gust and we’re seeing your womb. What exactly are you saying? Like what you read here? Click on the HOME page and subscribe today to unlock premium, members-only content—some of which you won’t find any place else on the internet! Start with your FREE 10-day trial. We have friends that become enraged when you utter the word “bicyclist”. Not that they are adverse to the sport. Instead, they’re irritated by faux cyclists and their snobbery—feeling as if they own the road because they’re pseudo cyclists. These folk wear the gear and use the road to pretend they’re participating in the Tour de France. Pfffft. To enrage our friends even more, French apparel brand Café du Cycliste launches its Toile de Jouy collection.  That means you can look like douche anytime! Whether you ride a bike or not… Like what you read here? Click on the HOME page and subscribe today to unlock premium, members-only content—some of which you won’t find any place else on the internet! Start with your FREE 10-day trial. Sometimes we forget that Speedo is more than just tighty-whitey-swim trunks on European men or large-and-in-charge American men. There are actually other items the brand slaps its name on.  Forever 21 is kicking-off summer right now with its collaboration with Speedo for Forever 21 x SPEEDO collection. The pieces infuse the hottest trends like neon, PVC outerwear, and mesh. Men, women’s, plus, and juniors can all indulge in the merch that ranges in price from $13 to $45. Hmmm. These items sound swampy bad. For example: the pseudo Baywatch one-piece swimsuit is definitely gonna floss betwixt the cheeks. And the meshy neon dress? Can someone say hooker time on the beach? Catch a wave right into someone’s dolphin cove… Like what you read here? Click on the HOME page and subscribe today to unlock premium, members-only content—some of which you won’t find any place else on the internet! Start with your FREE 10-day trial. Sometimes we forget that Speedo is more than just tighty-whitey-swim trunks on European men or large-and-in-charge American men.
There are actually other items the brand slaps its name on.
Ladies can channel their inner princess with this latest collaboration between footwear designer Ruthie Davis and Disney—a Princess Jasmine-inspired collection.
Officially named: Disney Princess X Ruthie Davis, this is the third time the two entities have put their marketing minds together. The Snow White and Mulan capsule collections were big hits, so why not? Just in time for the launch of Disney’s Aladdin, you can get your foot-bling on (we’re sure the foot fetish folks will appreciate your efforts). The nine styles features stilettos, metallic ankle boots, and platform sneakers. Or, you could just grab your Bedazzler and Sharpies for, what, $20 and truly create something one-of-a-kind. Gonna have to find a prince to pay for these foot holders.
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Since the days of James Dean, the white t-shirt has been an easy fashion piece for gents. Dudes of all shapes and sizes wear the white t-shirt with jeans. Or if they’re fancy, under a jacket with some Don-Johnson-Miami-Vice loafers. You could go to Walmart and stock up on a pile of classic white tees for the price of one Mercy&Loyal white shirt.  Price tag: 60 mother-effin’-dollars. $60! This shirt better make every dude look like he has a six-pack for $60. Well, this shirt is made of soft Supima cotton. (WTH is that?) Hey, if you want Supima rubbin’ your nips—good for you. But are you really gonna drop coin on something that you’re gonna drop wing sauce on? Like what you read here? Click on the HOME page and subscribe today to unlock premium, members-only content—some of which you won’t find any place else on the internet! Start with your FREE 10-day trial.  Guess what’s back en vogue—short shorts. But not for the ladies. That’s right, dudes, get them pasty-white calves ready for primetime! Fendi, Prada, and Missoni have all gone to the Etch a Sketch and bestowed upon us short shorts for their Spring 2019 lines. Whatevs. While some ladies may be thinking: “Oooh, yes. Let’s see some nice man legs,” we’re thinking: “No. These shorts are gonna look like a tight Ziploc bag over-stuffed with fruit.” Plus, it’s usually the people that we don’t care to see in thongs, Speedos and short shorts that will be wearing said items. Let’s keep the short shorts on Tom Selleck and athletes from the 80s… and Daisy Duke. Like what you read here? Click on the HOME page and subscribe today to unlock premium, members-only content—some of which you won’t find any place else on the internet! Start with your FREE 10-day trial. We’ve had a love-hate relationship when it comes to singer Ariana Grande. We dig some of her music, but then she acts a fool and we loathe her. And let’s not even get started with the too-tight ponytail. But we must give her props for her collaboration with NASA on some pretty cool clothing.  We don’t know if Ariana is trying to win-over the geek niche, or if NASA is trying to get hip. But we like the results.  Ariana surprised fans with the pop-up exclusive merch while she headlined Coachella. The eight-piece collection was to honor the song “NASA” from her album thank u, next. The prices weren’t too terrible, ranging from $20-$70. But this…  Once reserved as a preventative measure from contracting the bird flu or some other nasty, masks are becoming a fashion “thing.” It’s great if your mouth is jacked for whatever reason, or if you have a nasty “cold sore”. But otherwise, what are you hiding? And, you might kill yourself if you have funk breath. Get these items for a limited time by clicking HERE. Like what you read here? Click on the HOME page and subscribe today to unlock premium, members-only content—some of which you won’t find any place else on the internet! Start with your FREE 10-day trial. |
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