A woman should have the option to feel and look fashionable no matter where she is in life. Whether she’s pregnant, aging with grace, or recovering from a medical battle, a gal can look like a million bucks. Eileen & Eva is an online boutique featuring beautiful, yet functional, pieces for women facing BRCA and breast cancer surgeries, treatments and recovery. The Heal with Style collection showcases wraps, tunics, pants, shawls and scarves. The Heal with Style pieces feature flattering lines, soothing colors, breathable, soft, moisture-wicking and anti-microbial fabric that prevents infections, moderate hot flashes and provide ample room for lymphedema and weight gain. Founder and CEO Eva SooHoo launched Eileen & Eva as an homage to her mother’s experience with ovarian cancer and her own BRCA gene mutation preventative surgeries. All fashions are priced under $120. Crack Wise is happy that there are good people doing good things out there. Imagine the benefits of acupuncture without the getting stuck… with needles. We’re intrigued. If you’re all about the zen, then you’ll appreciate the Yogi Jacket. It’s an everyday acupressure jacket that helps you (allegedly) reach your maximum state of relaxation. The creator says his jacket can also:
The creator of Yogi Jacket suffered from all kinds of aches and pains and low energy thanks to our fast-paced society. He had success with acupressure therapy and wanted that good feeling all the time. Voila! An awesome idea was born. The $79 price tag is the cost of one acupressure session. Good deal. If you don’t want to drop the change on the Yogi Jacket, a Crack Wise staff member could use his/her own acupressure technique by jumping on your back for a piggyback ride. We guarantee to hit all your pressure points, but you might need a chiropractor. And we mean that with the utmost respect. Don't you believe us? Celebrities looking uber fashionable while partaking in a good cause. Hillary Duff, Whitney Cummings, Olivia Munn, Maria Menounos and Michelle Trachtenberg joined fab forces to raise money for Love Leo Rescue. Guests gnoshed on fancy hors d’oeuvres, sipped fancy cocktails, and opened up their wallets. And the famous ladies wore custom paw necklaces from Judi Powers. Hopefully, they opened up their wallets as well. A Crack Wise fundraiser would’ve consisted of a cheese n crackers tray, pizza rolls, beverages from a can (Hello, Schlitz!) and a stare-down until you donated a minimum of $20 to whatever cause. And—you can wear whatever you want. What’s better than overpriced pretentious fashion? Two celebs wearing the same overpriced pretentious fashion! You decide who wore these 7 For All Mankind leather biker pants better: Olivia Culpo or Vanessa Hudgens? We sure some of you gents would prefer if these two wrestled-it-out to decide the victor (cue the Cinemax-after-hours-music). Crack Wise wants you to vote on this: who had more chafing? Vanessa or Olivia? P.S. The price tag is a mere $899. Thank you, in advance, for gifting us with these. LOL
Nothing makes us want to hurl more than items made with faux hair. It’s just creepy. It’s like putting a strap on baby animal and carrying it around. So, it’s perfect that our least favorite celebmouth, Gwyneth Paltrow sports an overpriced Calf Hair handbag.
The Senreve handbag is just $1,850. Perfect stocking stuffer! The bag needs to be larger, though, to hold her pretention and self-absorption. We suggest this bag: We love these earrings by bonheur. They look all cool and space age-y and maybe James Bond-esque. We feel like we could use them as a boomerang, or a whistle. With a $320 price tag, we need to multi-purpose the shizz out of these! But what we feel best about bonheur jewelry? They apparently make you pose like this: Kendall Jenner looks all cool and unphased. We stand just like this after eating too much. Conclusion: if we wear this jewelry, we can look supermodel fab in our normal daily. Except our stomach is a little bigger. And that unphased look for us means we’re trying to suppress a burp. Otherwise, Bella Hadid is gonna hit us in the head with her heel. Holly Robinson Peete is a fine dame. But this outfit… She’s proudly wearing Beyond Proper. Great. But we feel like this is something one of those zombies from The Walking Dead would wear. We want to like this, but we can’t. Just writing about it is making us itch. We want to give ourselves some cash and direct ourselves to the nearest shelter because this combo looks… worn. Perhaps it’s the name Beyond Proper. It seems quite the opposite. More… unkempt. The only reason this work is because she’s a beauty. Always will be (wench). Activate! Shape of: zodiac signs Form of: jewelry Satya Jewelry and The AstroTwins have joined forces to create the Zodiac Collection. This might be the perfect gift for someone with stars in their eyes. “Every piece is handcrafted with love and infused with powerful intentions that will uplift you for 2019.” Groovy. “Each totem draws the cosmos down to Earth, grounding us and reminding us what we are all made of—stardust.” So that’s not dandruff on our shoulders. Whew! This collection is plated with 18 karat gold (we’d prefer 24 karat magic, ala Bruno Mars), and embellished with white topaz. Honest moment alert: In our twisted minds, we turned Satya into “satay” because we’re always thinking of food, and AstroTwins into……. “astro glide”. Don’t judge. |
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