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“Turnabout is fair play” is one of those phrases we liken to “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander”. What we’re trying to say is: “We’re getting you back.” But in this case, it’s a little creepy. If you’re looking for something different to get dad for his day, why not some man undies from Cariloha?  What caught our eye is the image on the left. Of men in their undies. Which we’d like to have delivered to us on Father’s Day for some “call me daddy” time. But we at Crack Wise had Cariloha underwear pitched to us for Father’s Day. We really don’t want to imagine our dad in underwear at any time for any reason. Ever. If you can stay away from that mental dark side, Cariloha men’s under things are pretty cool. Literally. Made of viscose from bamboo, moisture-wicking technology helps keep dad’s “boys” fresh all day. Vurp. They come in nifty prints and schemes, or solids, and are priced from $22 to $28. The turnabout here is that your parents probs bought you underwear for your birthday and now it’s your turn to buy… nope. Still struggling with the thought of gifting dad with drawers knowing it will be some kind of AARP seduction moment around 4 pm. And if those thoughts weren’t bad enough, this: Who had the task of taking a scrotal temp to determine these shorts are cooling? Seriously. We get it—designers are all ethereal, and cutting-edge, and… weird. We’ve got the weird covered, but we don’t have the juice to design bullsh*t clothing that no one would buy. No real-world person, that is. Mission accomplished, Thom Browne. Everyone’s mouth-gaped-open at your Spring 2020 collection that fuses Marie Antoinette, and rich-people sports. Check this out:  WTF is this!?!? How bad is life that you need a cod piece? And this dude looks miserable, like: “I should’ve gotten that degree in basketweaving.” Cod pieces best be left to rock stars and celebrities. Like Larry Blackmon of Cameo. NOTE: This is how you wear a cod piece. Make that thang stand out instead of Thom Browne’s “let’s blend it all together.” Like what you read here? Click on the HOME page and subscribe today to unlock premium, members-only content—some of which you won’t find any place else on the internet! Start with your FREE 10-day trial. Pump the brakes on dropping serious cash on some fine duds, dudes. You can look fine without breaking the bank. We appreciate when a man makes the effort to look good for us, but we want you to have some cash left over to treat us to some wine and a steak dinner. While these threads are super fly, we almost passed out from sticker shock.  This colorful collared shirt from Robert Graham is fun. And $158. You’re laughing—not because of the fun factor, but because of the WTF factor.  Meanwhile, this sweet Robert Graham jacket turns sour… clocking-in at $479. We know it seems like we’re Old Navy’s bitch, but we’re not. You can get some cool looking clothes for a fraction of the price. Check out this shirt:   $79.99. Sure, it’s not made from fine Corinthian leather, or rabbit fur, or whatever. But it looks good. Dudes—what we care most about is that your clothes are clean, your fruit bowl ain’t rank, and that you tried and succeeded. Like what you read here? Click on the HOME page and subscribe today to unlock premium, members-only content—some of which you won’t find any place else on the internet! Start with your FREE 10-day trial. Actor Jeremy Piven is cool. Right? He doesn’t seem like a total d-bag. So, we suppose dudes are likely to follow his fashion cue? Do guys even do that? The Piv-ster was photogged wearing a cool-looking striped tee from Mercy & Loyal. We’d show you the image, but it’s all copyrighted, blah, blah, blah. Here’s the shirt:  FYI: Piven did not have this soft-man look with the floppy hair and the “who farted?” face. He wore his shirt with jeans, and a white cropped denim jacket and gold chain. The later two items are on the wanna-be-Jersey-Shore list, but that’s not the point of this tale. The point is: this designer shirt is $75. This Italian-imported sweat-catcher is $75!!! This is a way better option:  Men—save your money. This tee is also striped. It’s also cool. And Old Navy is selling it for $7! It’s soft-washed! Plus, this guy looks like he knows how to have fun. He looks like he has a job and a gf. The other dude still lives with his parents. Be the Old Navy-fun-guy-with-a-life and save your money. Then you can buy your own gf. Wha!?!? Like what you read here? Click on the HOME page and subscribe today to unlock premium, members-only content—some of which you won’t find any place else on the internet! Start with your FREE 10-day trial.  Guess what’s back en vogue—short shorts. But not for the ladies. That’s right, dudes, get them pasty-white calves ready for primetime! Fendi, Prada, and Missoni have all gone to the Etch a Sketch and bestowed upon us short shorts for their Spring 2019 lines. Whatevs. While some ladies may be thinking: “Oooh, yes. Let’s see some nice man legs,” we’re thinking: “No. These shorts are gonna look like a tight Ziploc bag over-stuffed with fruit.” Plus, it’s usually the people that we don’t care to see in thongs, Speedos and short shorts that will be wearing said items. Let’s keep the short shorts on Tom Selleck and athletes from the 80s… and Daisy Duke. Like what you read here? Click on the HOME page and subscribe today to unlock premium, members-only content—some of which you won’t find any place else on the internet! Start with your FREE 10-day trial. Dudes and baseball hats. They go hand-in-hand. Or is that hat in hand? If your baseball hat game is out of control and your significant other is threatening to spark joy by offing your stuff, then you best invest in Canopy Hats. This company is changing the baseball hat game, and hats in general. Instead of 20 hats, you can purchase one hat and add your choice of interchangeable patches.  NOTE: Ladies, you can baseball patch-switch, too.  ASIDE: An apparently, both look forlorn... Anywho, tres chic. Canopy is currently funding their magic hat project. But now’s the time to take advantage of limited early-bird specials. For $29, get a hat and three patches. Choose from baseball hats, trucker hats, dad hats, and flat brims. Now that the hat clutter has been “capped”, what about the socks-all-over-the-floor dilemma? Like what you read here? Click on the HOME page and subscribe today to unlock premium, members-only content—some of which you won’t find any place else on the internet! Start with your FREE 10-day trial. |
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