Nothing ruined Halloween more as a child than when you dumped that glorious bag of treats on the floor to peruse the spoils of your labor, only to discover some downright horrible items.
See if you agree with CandyStore.com’s list of the Worst Halloween Candy—as determined by their customers.
#5 Peanut Butter Kisses (Not Hershey’s. Some off-brand b.s. your grandma tried to pass off as “so delicious.”)
#4 Necco Wafers (Anything that sounds like the word "necrophilia" to us is not something we want in our mouth.)
#3 Wax Cola Bottles (Who else accidentally nearly-choked to death on these evil things?)
#2 Candy Corn (Eat too many, and you’ll make a candy corn-colored turd… from what we’ve "heard.")
#1 Circus Peanuts (Neither peanuts, nor something that should ever be consumed by humans. For years we were scared of packing peanuts because of these vile bastards!)
We don’t want to leave you tearful and sad. So here are CandyStore.com’s Best Halloween Candies:
#4 Kit Kat
#1 Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
Agreed. We’ll take ‘em all.
Pork is the other white meat. It’s a good choice, until we ruin it (happily) with barbecue sauce. If you want a more healthful recipe that doesn’t sacrifice taste, this is a good one.
Autumn Pork Chops
Serves 4, 1 pork chop with ¼ cup sauce per serving
Prep time: 10 minutes
Cook time: 20 minutes
1 tablespoon canola oil
4 (4-ounce) boneless center-cut loin pork chops, well-trimmed
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon black pepper
½ cup pitted prunes, sliced
½ cup dried apricots, sliced
1 onion, thinly sliced
½ cup water
Brown sugar substitute equal to 2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
In a large skillet over medium-high heat, heat oil until hot. Sprinkle pork chops with salt and pepper, then cook 4 to 5 minutes per side or until browned.
Add remaining ingredients to skillet. Cover, reduce heat to low, and simmer 8 to 10 minutes or until pork is cooked to medium (145 degrees F) or until desired doneness. Serve each topped with sauce (about ¼ cup).
Calories from Fat 100
Total Fat 11.0 g
Saturated Fat 2.8 g
Trans Fat 0.0 g
Cholesterol 60 mg
Sodium 340 mg
Potassium 740 mg
Total Carbohydrate 29 g
Dietary Fiber 4 g
Sugars 20 g
Protein 23 g
Phosphorus 215 mg
*Recipe courtesy of: Mr. Food Test Kitchen's Guilt-Free Comfort Favorites
We try so hard to make better food choices, but sometimes we’re deceived by items we think are healthy for us—when actually, they are not. People are quick to jump on the low-cal bandwagon, only to discover that there’s more sugar in that version than in the full-fat. You can’t win.
In the past, we’ve turned away from granola because of the calories and sugar content. Now, you can win the granola game with GrandyOats. The company prides itself on being the premier granola factory in the country. Why? Because their granola is homegrown, made fresh, and is the highest of quality.
What say ye, Nature Valley? Hmmmmmm?
All of their products are made in a solar-powered facility generating more than 95,000 kWh of clean, renewable energy on an annual basis. Well, we guess that’s a good thing, too!
Organic Grain-free Chocolate Chunk Coconola- Coconut Granola will set you back $33 for a three-pound bag. That’s not too bad, actually. It’s cheaper per pound than some of the other brands—for instance, Archer Farms. Love their foods, but comparison shopping shows GrandyOats is a better value—and according to them, better for you.
But, seriously. Three pounds of granola? Wonder if they offer a discount on Charmin…
We feel like putting on a flannel shirt and hiking through the woods. Check that. Forget the hiking-- just hand over the granola and flannel.
We’ve always wanted to attempt a world record. We just haven’t figured out what that would be, and what we could actually accomplish. Yeah. That’s the tricky part. Anywho, we completely support this Guinness World Records title attempt:
The Sicilian Butcher Creates the Largest Negroni cocktail
We need a moment… How beautiful. Two things we love—awards and cocktails.
Sheldon Wiley, director of beverage for The Maggiore Group, will be mixing up this classic cocktail inside a 500 liter oak barrel using equal parts premium Italian spirit brands: Carpano Antica Formula, Malfy Gin Originale, and Campari. That’s approximately 132 gallons, 504 bottles and 16,722 ounces of Negroni.
“This Guinness World Records title has never been attempted before and we have a lot of moving parts to make this happen,” said The Sicilian Butcher Owner, Joey Maggiore.
See, we just need to find that special-never-attempted-before thing!
Once the drink is concocted, guests will have the chance to purchase a Negroni tapped straight from the barrel for $5 each. A portion of proceeds will go to the Pearce Family Foundation.
The Sicilian Butcher is well-known for its hand-rolled meatballs and fresh- made pastas and Italian butcher-style meats. Oh, and you can choose-your-own meatballs (damn straight we’re gonna choose what balls go in our mouth) and build-your-own charcuterie board. What is it about The AZ and it’s fab food?
The big-ass cocktail attempt is this Wednesday from 1:30 to 2:30 pm at The Sicilian Butcher in Phoenix, AZ. Send up some positive vibes for them.
Now this is the kind of fall flavors we can appreciate. Thanks to our friends at Landerhaven for this tasty concoction:
All you need are the three ingredients pictured above. And a glass. (Or drink it straight out of the shaker if it’s been a tough day.)
Pour ½ ounce of Kahlua in shaker; Add 1 ounce of Pumpkin Spice; Add ½ ounce of Absolut Vanilla; Add ½ cup of cream.
Shake 3-4 times; Strain into glass.
Today is officially World Food Day. Seriously. Every day is food day. There’s not a day that goes by that we don’t dream of sticking something yummy in our mouths.
WalletHub did the thing they do best—research stuff. Here are 2018’s Best Foodie Cities in America. Did your city do you proud?
Chew on these findings:
New York has the most gourmet specialty-food stores (per square root of population), 1.3816, which is 46.1 times more than in West Valley City, Utah—the city with the fewest at 0.0300.
Orlando, Florida, has the most ice cream and frozen yogurt shops (per square root of population), 0.3313, which is 21 times more than in Lewiston, Maine, the city with the fewest at 0.0158.
Here’s an interactive map-thingie to see where your city lands on the "tops" list:
We're craving real-life research. This information is cool, but our neck of the woods will never top anything, unless we get real. Like what we see and experience every day. Our town could win:
Most people per capita that eat like slobs
Biggest portions, biggest asses
Ranch dressing is a food group
If it looks like cheese, we’ll eat it
How ‘bout that, WalletSnob?
Halloween candy is not just for kids. It’s for us. Adults need the “fun size” treats to deal with all the halloweeners begging for stuff they don’t have to pay for. We’ve always prided ourselves on having a special stash that the kids will never get their greedy little hands on.
But are you feeling guilty that you’ve got a Good & Plenty gut growing? A PayDay paunch? Hershey's hiney?
Show your guilt the door with Chocodate candies—a date filled with an almond and covered in European grade chocolate. At just 45-52 calories per serving, you’ll enjoy deliciousness and fiber, antioxidants and vitamin E. They come individually wrapped, so you could hand them out instead of stupid fruit. No trick-or-treater wants that.
Or, again, keep these candies for yourself. Available in milk chocolate, coconut or dark chocolate. Available at Walmart, Publix, and online at Amazon.
We can’t help ourselves. Chocodates remind us of that scene from Caddyshack.
This just might be the worst attempt at seasonal-izing a food product.
Christmas tree-flavored potato chips.
Little Debbie Christmas tree snack cakes—good. Food tasting like bark and pine—nope.
Indeed, the main ingredient is pine salt seasoning. For that:
“piney, woodsy taste.”
For now, they’re just an overseas flavor. But if you really want to enjoy every taste of Christmas, then we’re sure you could order these. Better yet, just drink a bunch of booze and go tongue a pine tree. That would at least be memorable.
If you’re an Oreo eater that’s all about the cream filling, then you’re gonna lose your shizz over Most Stuf Oreos.
We’re talkin’ more cream than any Oreo—EVER! Like, double the double stuf.
Coming to stores soon. Enjoy the sugar rush.
Avocados are expensive. And if you don’t have some type of keep-them-fresh device, they turn brown. You can still eat that brown layer on top, but sometimes the visual overpowers the need to feed, and well… gross.
Welch’s to the rescue!
The food company is offering ripe-frozen avocados. We know that frozen veggies are more convenient, and are the best alternative to fresh because they’re frozen right after picking to retain all that good stuff we’re supposed to eat them for.
“So convenient—not sliced, not diced, just perfectly hand-chunks so versatile, they can be used in a variety of recipes like Poke bowls, dressings, sandwiches, even desserts!”
Nice try with the dessert thing, Welch’s. We like our desserts fully fatted and sugared up. That’s why they’re desserts.
Welch’s boasts that avocados are sodium and cholesterol free, a source of fiber and just 50 calories per serving. Yipee!
Priced at $5 for a 10-ounce bag, these emeralds of the fruits world might be a good buy.
Get a bag at Walmart or online at Amazon-- and eat until you turn green! Really, don’t eat until you turn green. That would be bad. Unless you’re auditioning to play the Jolly Green Giant in some local theater production, then you might win the part for your dedication to the role.
Haus of V is a creative collective that shares a similar mindset -- with a twist.