You can get sauced. Or you can get souped. (Some do both, but we won't judge...) Nothing takes the edge off the bitter cold than a nice bowl of soup. And since we are perpetual cheese lovers, this hits the spot. Easy to make. Easier to devour. Thanks, Crave Brothers-- for making us run another 10 minutes on the treadmill.
Creamy Mascarpone Mushroom Soup
5 T. butter
1 bunch green onions, chopped (use some green part)
2 lbs. assorted wild mushrooms (shiitake, portabella, cremini, white button), leave some whole for garnish, slice remainder
5 cups chicken broth
¾ cup port
¼ t. dried thyme
1½ cups heavy cream
2 T. lemon juice
1/8 t. ground black pepper
8 oz. Crave Brothers Farmstead Classics Mascarpone
Crusty bread or breadsticks
Put butter in 5-quart saucepan; melt. Add onion; sauté. Cook about 5 minutes until soft, stirring frequently. Stir in mushrooms; cook about 8 minutes until tender. Add chicken broth, port and thyme; heat to boiling. Reduce heat. Ladle mushroom/broth mixture into blender; blend until puréed. Pour into large bowl. When all mixture puréed, return to saucepan. Add cream, lemon juice, black pepper and mascarpone. Heat soup over low heat just until heated through. Ladle into soup bowls; garnish with whole mushrooms. Serve with crusty bread or breadsticks.
Tastes Like Love
Feed the beast and spank that beast into action on Valentine's Day with a "love diet" filled with proven aphrodisiac foods. There really are foods that possess chemical properties that could increase pheromones and heighten our desires for some down-under lovin'. This is according to Board Certified NYC Internist and Gastroenterologist Dr. Niket Sonpal. We wonder if these foods are in his diet. Meow...
Top Aphrodisiac Delicacies:
One of the most infamous aphrodisiacs, as their appearance mimics the labial folds of a vagina; oysters are high in zinc and have a reputation for being great for love and fertility. Researchers found that oysters contain amino acids that trigger the production of sex hormones.
Crack Wise: Whoa! Watch your filthy mouth. We don't want to get sand in our crack to see if we can make a damn pearl...
They have many health benefits as they contain protein and fiber. Nevertheless, they also help to reduce symptoms of erectile dysfunction. This could be due to the fact that pistachios lower cholesterol and stimulate blood flow throughout the body.
Crack Wise: So... nuts for nuts. We get it.
The typical spices in this brew include ginger, cloves, and cinnamon, all come from exotic places and certainly will get the blood flowing, and it has almost no caffeine so the stimulant effect is less than coffee.
Crack Wise: We start most mornings with Chai. Alone. But we've never Divinyls-ed ourselves.
Red wine will be sure to leave you feeling less awkward and aroused. The scent alone has been proven to get people in the mood. It is proven that wine decreases inflammation and gets your blood pumping.
Crack Wise: Sniffing it? All we can think of is that scene from A Fish Called Wanda where Kevin Kline gets a good whiff of Jamie Lee Curtis' boots, and then...
High levels of folic acid, vitamin B9, and B6 all provide your body with energy and even help to increase testosterone production. Food has been used throughout time to work as a way to increase sexual arousal.
Crack Wise: But millenials aren't having sex, so... is the toast part 'cado-blocking?
More from Dr. Sonpal…
For something to be considered an aphrodisiac, it would need to be:
Crack Wise: Isn't that the end goal? Oh... you mean something else.
Reliably increase libido or sexual desire (no placebo effect).
Crack Wise: But a placebo effect makes me think whatever, so if happy-naked-time happens every time I eat Doritos, wouldn't Doritos be an aphrodisiac because in my mind it is? Who doesn't want a happy trail of Cool Ranch crumbs down their happy trail?
Take effect relatively immediately.
Crack Wise: This could be a lot of fun especially if you "aphrodisiac" someone's meal. Like Uncle Larry's. Watch him hump the neighbor's dog!
Wrap It Up
Boys, you’ve got to keep your bottle protected with Valentine’s Day right around the corner. No, really. You need to keep that third bottle of unfinished wine fresh. Why not gift yourself or your sweetie the Wine Condom for V Day?
Packaged like a condom, this little device is your spill-proof solution to storing an opened bottle of wine the safest and most effective way. No spillage! These condoms seal flush with the rim for easier fridge shelf storage. That means *clears throat* don’t get any ideas for re-purposing your wine condom for, well….
Get a six pack for $17.
Haus of V is a creative collective that shares a similar mindset -- with a twist.