Serenity Now!

You may have screamed this phrase meant to calm—just like Frank Costanza did in Seinfeld—yet, it had the opposite effect. Just like in Seinfeld. Well back then, there weren’t nearly as many spam calls and junk e-mails mucking-up our lives.

Spam call blocking service YouMail found that 2.5 billion robocalls blew up our phones in April alone. And April ain’t even over. Billions of B.S. calls! And spam emails? 14.5 billion messages globally every day. Damn!

So how do we cope? Clinical Forensic Psychologist Dr. John Huber has these tips... followed by our “tips.”

Don’t engage
Some individuals who receive unsolicited email or calls may choose to unleash a series of cursive epitaphs that would even make Ralphie from “A Christmas Story” wince. Some may say that this emotional release is healthy but, it will likely cause you more harm than good. Choosing to allow another to anger you is disempowering and when you are angry, decisions based on emotion can override those based on logic. Simply don’t engage these calls.

Crack Wise says: F&ck that. F%ck with those nasty cretins. Our favorite line to drop on a bogus caller: (in a panicked voice)  “I was expecting a real call from my doctor to let me know if I have herpes or not. Get off the phone!”

Change Your Ringtone
Individuals can have their mental state immediately changed by what they see, touch, or hear. Certain forms of stimuli can cause us to remember periods of peace or pain associated with them. Instead of allowing a spam caller to get the best of you, get the best of them by putting a special, empowering ringtone for blocked / unfamiliar numbers. This ring tone should be something that makes you smile & happy.

Crack Wise says: Agreed. The sound of machine gun fire or a funeral dirge should do it. We used the funeral dirge for our ex…

Don’t take spam calls & e-mails personally
Unless the call or junk e-mail cites specific details about your life that you wouldn’t want the general public to know about – don’t take it personally. You weren’t selected for a spam call or e-mail for any other reason besides the hope that you would fall prey to whatever scam the caller / e-mailer is peddling. 

Crack Wise says: Who really feels this way? We know it’s not personal. But we’d like to rip their nuts off anyways. Serenity now!
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