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Predictable

3/27/2019

 
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Who’s more likely to drop trou on the first date? Men? Or women?

An unnecessary survey of 2,500 U.S. adults discovered that 13% of men admit they’d go to Tuna Town in their tugboat on or after their first date. Only 4% of women felt the same way.

Those not-so-shocking results were compiled by Psychic Guild. Another “duh” factoid:

“… the third date remains true for both genders. It’s by far the most popular date by which couples would expect to sleep together,” said Psychic Guild Editor Alice Ruffle.

Well, then. You’d better be armed and ready.

via GIPHY


P.S. Wouldn’t these psychics already know the results of their research? So why do the research? And thanks for stating the obvious, Ms. Cleo.

Eggscellent!

3/25/2019

 
OMG! We totally need this in our neck of the woods—an Egg House!

No. Not a Waffle (Awful) House. Not an Egg Castle. Not a breakfast joint. But a big ol’ egg city!
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Thanks to some famous person named Edy Ganem, we're all gonna learn about this awesome magical land!
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Egg House is the first egg-themed pop-up space offering a multi-sensory eggsperience (we came up with that pun). With multiple rooms of immersive installations and interactive experiences, Egg House is full of dreams and fantasies that saves you from the busy concrete city, and brings you a shareable fun time to spend with friends and family.
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The latest pop-up hit Melrose Place in West Hollywood. This Egg House featured 12 scenes showing L.A.’s must-see attractions and four snack stations serving free egg-themed items.

Egg House is the creation of BiuBiu Xu, who created this world around the character Ellis the Egg. This curious egg started his journey in the Lower East Side of NYC in 2018 and has traveled many places, including Shanghai, China.

Sounds like fun!

But now we’re really craving an omelette.

Breathe Out

3/20/2019

 
​Spring is in the air. And it best be in your mouth, too. Don’t let the funk of winter linger. Grab some Listerine and make a change.
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Listerine Ready! Tabs transform from solid to liquid and transform your breath from yuck to yes. Pop one in your mouth, chew for 10 seconds, swish for 30 seconds, swallow and go. You’ll have pleasant breath for up to four hours. Sounds like a mouth aerobics routine. Who’s going to time all this out for us? What if we chew for 15 and swish for 25—will the end result be ruined?
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​If you’re old school and need that bottle of wash, then grab Listerine Ultraclean Cool Mint. But this isn’t your average mouthwash. Everfresh technology provides dental chair quality clean without an aggressive hygienist digging for gold. This magical mouth potion fights tartar and is clinically proven to kill germs that lead to nastiness. Get a cape for this bottle, and let's fly!

So when you decide to get all Dracarys on someone, your breath will be a hot bunch of minty freshness. 
​

via GIPHY


It's Madness

3/18/2019

 
You’ve studied the stats, the odds. You’ve got on your lucky sweat socks from 2001. You believe in the magic of colors and sports mascots and Sweet 16 upsets. You believe this year you’ll win the whole damn thing. All while eating fried foods, drinking copious amounts of beer, and arguing with your friends about your picks.

Yes, friends. That fever isn’t from Influenza A. It’s March Madness. And it lasts a couple of weeks.

WalletHub did their thang again—which is dominate stats and info—to compile factoids on how M.M. affects us and which cities are pros at college basketball.

Check out this long-ass banner of March Madness by the Numbers:
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2019s-March-Madness-By-The-Numbers
Source: WalletHub

Where does your city rank when it comes to the hardwood? 
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Source: WalletHub

Here’s hopin’ you make it to the Final Four.
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Green Beer Responsibly

3/14/2019

 
Since our last “Life” post addressed the places with the best St. Patrick’s Day celebrations, we felt we needed to put this out there.

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Moderate drinking is defined as one drink per day for women, or two for men. An overdose of alcohol happens when a person has a blood alcohol level (BAC) that produces impairments that increase the risk of harm.

According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, these are the critical signs of alcohol poisoning:

Mental confusion, stupor, coma, or the person cannot be roused

Vomiting

Seizures

Slow breathing (fewer than 8 breaths per minute) or irregular breathing (10 seconds or more between breaths) 

Hypothermia (low body temperature), bluish skin color, and paleness

Please responsibly have fun. We need all you Crack Wisers to stick around!
​

via GIPHY


Green... With Beer

3/11/2019

 
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A week from today, many amateurs will be calling off “sick”. It’s only a half-truth. They’re sick, alright. Sick from too much booze because they played “Irish” for a day—or even the entire weekend.

Thanks to WalletHub, here are some St. Patrick’s Day facts to stick in your shamrock:

There’s an 819% increase in Guinness consumption compared to the rest of the year.

The market value of a leprechaun’s pot of gold is $1.3 million. (We’d better catch that sneaky little effer this year!)

Oh, and a lot of people are Irish on St. Pat’s Day. A whopping 32.6 million claim it to be true.

If you want to be an amateur, or a pro party animal for the holiday we Americans love to bastardize, then you need to know where the best parties are. Check out this nifty map to find out where your city ranks amongst the “green eggs and keggers”.
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Source: WalletHub

Slainte!
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via GIPHY


The Language of Lust

3/7/2019

 
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YouPorn won’t be outdone by Tinder, damnit! After Tinder announced its Spring Break Mode feature, YouPorn decided to up the bang game with its own web-based app: “Sexy Lingo.”
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The app is designed to help men and women master the art of flirting in other languages. Is that what we’re calling it? Flirting?

“Communicating in another language, especially in a foreign country, can be difficult for many,” said Charlie Hughes, Vice President of YouPorn. “From understanding the proper use of nouns to establishing consent, misreading signs and saying a phrase that may come off as offensive are all problems men and women face.”

Best we get schooled by Sexy Lingo! Lessons are offered in four key categories:

The Basics: Learn the proper use of nouns and pronouns, as well as their designations.

Starting a Conversation: Hi, Hello, Hola, Bonjour! This lesson walks through greetings and questions, places and times, adjectives and activities.

Flirting: Everyone loves a compliment, and speaking in a native language can really make an impact.  From making plans to the next step, this lesson dives in to continue conversations.

Intimate: Reading signs correctly? This final lesson gives an overview of intimate words and bedroom talk, but most importantly, establishing consent!

Well, here’s to you and your quest on getting some action across the world. Aren’t you just the U.N. of naughty time? Meow.
 

via GIPHY


Nice Box

3/4/2019

 
We could all benefit from a tidy box. No, we don’t mean cat litter or any kind of personal grooming. We’re talking about keeping your stuff in check. Storage, people. Storage!

If you’ve never surfed on The Grommet, you need to. So many cool, innovative products that will make your life easier. The Grommet is home to the Foldable Storage Box with Handle—a foldable storage box. It’s got the convenience of shopping bags with a sturdy design that folds flat for storage and unfolds quickly. A padded carrying strap makes toting more comfortable, too.
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Carry or organize up to 65 pounds of groceries, sports equipment, trunk contents, or… whatever needs organized.

For just $45 you can be the eco-friendly bomb diggity boss of the organizational world… if you want.

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    Haus of V is a creative collective that shares a similar mindset -- with a twist. 

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