Bye, Booze

Trend Alert: the Sober Curious Movement. For the youngins, “sober is the new cool.” Recent studies have shown that a third of those responding want to drink less for a variety of reasons: anxiety, regret, and better health. Millennials are the biggest number of “sober curious-ers”…

And because this is how life is nowadays—there’s an app for that!

Loosid is “digital sober community” app that has dating, travel, and even components that allow teetotalers to meet. We totally respect this app as a means for those battling addiction to meet others who are clean. But for others to hijack this app? We feel uncomfortable. Like wool sweater uncomfortable.

Can we be honest here? We think “sober curious” is code for “cheap ass”. Millennials are known for polishing a turd and calling it gold, ie: “We’re evolved and smarter than you old folk, though we haven’t lived much and know less. But, we are superior creatures and won’t taint our bodies with such poison… and mom won’t spot me five to grab some Boone’s.”

Has anyone else figured out that millennials are the lizard people? They don’t want to drink and they’d rather watch Netflix than procreate, so—end of humanity! 

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