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Wrap the Fruit Bowl

5/2/2019

 
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This may be a conversation that will never go away: Using contraceptives. More specifically, condoms, during sexual activity. It appears both men and women believe the disease-and-potential baby-protector interferes with happy-fun-time.

Sigh.

Adam & Eve routinely conducts surveys of its customers. They found that over half of the adults polled—55%-- said the use of condoms interferes with their love game. Dr. Jenni Skyler, Adam & Eve Sexologist (we need a job with a cool made-up title) encourages adults to sample different sizes, styles and brands of condoms to find the right… fit.

"Condoms are still a necessity for most people who engage in sexual activities. With the wide variety of styles, designs and materials available in condoms today, I recommend couples explore the different options until they find one that suits their needs."

We think Adam & Eve needs to go deeper with their research. Because we think the condoms aren’t the issue. It’s the mental fog of the participants. When the army is up and ready to do battle, there’s only one mission: raid the cave. Bombs may be going off all around you, but the missile is aimed and ready. Rational thought like: “Maybe I should protect my junk in case this skank has a wildfire in her compartment and things might melt off.” Or, “His Oscar Mayer could be a wight. Dead and on its last legs.”

We need to invent some kind of instant condom, or a robot that’s hanging around to help out when the time is right.

Stop being lazy when getting laid! Respect the fruit bowl and the cookie jar!
​
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