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CRACK WISE MAG

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​wellness

​Explore always-relevant tidbits of funformation in our archives...

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Red Light District

2/27/2019

 
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For years, we’ve read about the benefits of red light therapy. No, we’re not talking about making-nice in the ho-bag district. We’re talking about exposing your body… to low-level red wavelengths of light. Health benefits include:

Improved skin health
Fat loss
Faster muscle recovery
Reduced joint pain
Enhanced thyroid function
Increased testosterone production in men

Awesome! And how can we get this redness into our lives? With Joov Go. No need to seek a medical professional for treatment, because medical professionals created these in-home devices to address your health concerns. The Joov Go ranges in different sizes and price points depending on what you’re hoping to accomplish.

Sounds like seeing red is a good thing…
​

Unprotected

2/25/2019

 
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Seriously. What. The. Eff.

The dedicated research staff at Adam & Eve polled over 1,000 adults about their condom usage. The results were... flaccid.

In regards to rubber wearing, 40% of men and 35% of women said they use ‘em, while 63% said NOPE.

Resident Adam & Eve sexologist Dr. Jenni Skyler is shocked:

“While there are many people involved in long-term, monogamous relationships who can safely opt not to use condoms, condoms are still the best way to protect your partner and yourself from unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease. Condom designs have improved dramatically over the years, and more people need to take personal responsibility for their sexual health.”

Duh!

It’s amazing how many people are still willing to risk some down-low warfare or unplanned pregnancy.
​
Further proof that we aren’t thinking with our brains…

Good Vibrations

2/20/2019

 
We’re starting to believe a magical Utopian place really does exist—the Grand Velas Riviera Maya.

This spa is amazing!

We’ve shared such other-worldly stories with you about healthy tequila sampling, pumpkin facials, creative pampering… and now something else we’d love to try if we could spend someone else’s money--Vibrational Healing Massage.

This is not an Adam & Eve special—not that that’s a bad thing (wink, wink).
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Guests will enjoy an energy boost, improved mental concentration and will fall into a deep state of relaxation. A therapist begins by placing vibrational bowls on the massage table alongside the guest and then using tuning forks on his or her meridians and energy centers. Next, the therapist places the Quantum drum at a frequency of 432 hz. The vibrations blended with the drum will tune the soul to the frequency of the earth, universally harmonizing the beats.

​The 80-minute massage also improves shoulder, neck and lower back pain and migraines from tight muscles………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

We’re sorry. We drifted off from all that awesome.

Body by Hems

2/18/2019

 
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Guys, let’s take a moment to be honest with each other. We’re never going to be Chris Hemsworth. Ever. He’s disgustingly good-looking, has an over-abundance of everything—including talent. And his body is what we’d want to have if we could quit $1 taco night.

Alas, there is hope. We can get *this* close to our own Hemsworth-y body with his new health and fitness app called: CENTR

Chris and his most-likely-equally-buffed team of internationally renowned experts—including elite trainers, celebrity chefs, meditation teachers and well-being experts want us to live our best lives.

“I believe we all have untapped potential. And we all need support to achieve our goals,” shares Hemsworth. “Centr puts the world’s best in the palm of your hand, to help you develop a healthier body, stronger mind, and a happier life.”
​ 
You can customize the program to suit any fitness level, dietary and lifestyle needs. You’ll get daily workouts, meal plans, meditations, and a 24/7 community offering support, extra tips and exclusive behind-the-scenes gems.
​

Dude’s so extra he doesn’t even have to spell the name of his app correctly. Hate him even more...
​

#GymFail

2/14/2019

 
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How those New Year’s fitness goals coming along? For those of you still hanging in there, maybe you’re not yet seeing any results. It’s not because your body is fit-resistant. You might be making some mistakes when it comes to the workout lifestyle.

Vince Sant is the co-founder and lead trainer of V Shred. He says many of us are guilty of common mistakes when starting on the path of fitness.

Failing to Assess Your Body
“Trainers and gym staff see this all the time. People who are new to working out and  get a few workouts from a friend and head into the gym without analyzing their bodies with a trainer.” This becomes harmful because these people are not trained to pinpoint their body’s imbalances, where their weaknesses lie and how their body is compensating subconsciously.  “They go to the gym pay for the membership and spend months doing exercises incorrectly and damaging their joints and their back.”

Failing to Set Realistic Goals
Nowadays a lot of people scroll through social media and try and mimic the amount of weight being lifted and want a six pack in two weeks. Contrary to popular belief, fitness models and trainers don’t start off deadlifting 200 lbs. They train for months, maybe years, perfecting their form. When you set major goals with an unrealistic time frame you are setting yourself up for disappointment. “A lot of what a trainer does is manage your goals and give you honest timelines to get you there. We cheerlead you through the rough times and the plateaus,” says Sant.

Consistency is Key
New gym goers lose their excitement over working out a few weeks in. They start skipping workouts and making excuses. This will add to the time it will take for you to reach your goals and may even hinder your enthusiasm overall. Push yourself through the first few months of working out and eating nutritiously. Make a habit out of working out. Consistency will become easier once you start seeing those desired results

Delaying Your Workouts Into The Night
We get it. People work tremendously hard and they have errands to run and people to care for. People want to sleep as much as possible. “Here’s a pro tip: If you want consistency to be an easier hurdle to overcome… Plan to workout in the morning. In life, things come up and schedules change. The morning will always be more available than your night. We also tend to make more excuses at night and let things override our plans to work out,” says Sant.

Giving Up When You Hit A Plateau
If you hit a plateau it means you have consistently been doing the same routine for an extended period of time. Kudos for the consistency, but that is just one part of getting the results you want. “You need to learn or get guidance on how to effectively change your workouts to continue challenging your muscles and prevent your body from falling into a comfort zone with your regular routine,” explains Sant.
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Overdoing the Cardio
Don’t misunderstand, cardio is an important part of any fitness journey especially one that is centered around weight loss. However, in the eagerness of the first few weeks people who start going to the gym concentrate overwhelmingly on cardio and needlessly exhaust their body. Trainers see it all the time, people who spend 2 hours on the elliptical. You’d be better served to do a 30-minute cardio session followed by light weights and circuit training. Remember you want to strengthen the muscle as well.

Unorganized Lifting
When you are working on weight training you have to educate yourself on what exercises belong in a superset together and how much is wise to lift when shooting for a certain amount of repetitions. “Gym goers often lift too heavy making it difficult to complete a set or too light, failing to challenge the muscle,” says Sant. It is important that you don’t lift too heavy out of vanity and that you don’t too light out of laziness. When doing supersets (two different movements, one after the other you without rest it is important that you learn about the movements that go together as one might affect your form for the other and open you up for injury.

Record Your Progress
Failing to record the amount of weights and repetitions per set that you can lift per movement easily leads to plateaus and lack of interest. If you don’t record what you are doing then you have no way of increasing intensity meaning you will not get any better. “Working out without a clear goal for each movement can become boring. You lose interest and consciousness about what you are doing. Record what you are doing, perform it consistently and then increase intensity to avoid plateaus.

Stretch
For many, stretching is common sense. Many people still ignore the importance of it. Working out without stretching can lead to reduced muscle mind connection, poor form and muscle strain. Stretching helps your range of motion and aids in preparing you mentally and physically for the workout ahead.                              
  
Failing to take an Active Rest Day
Many people go all out the first few weeks of their fitness training looking desperately for quick results. This is not wise. Taking a rest day allows your muscles to heal. An active rest day is a day where instead of training at full power you incorporate some sort of low-intensity cardio or HIIT training. This way you keep your body active and don’t let any soreness settle in while still resting from your much more comprehensive workouts.

This Sant guy really knows his shizz. Like, our heads are bursting with too much knowledge!

Note: We’re #winning because we don’t go to the gym. Can’t fail if you don’t go!
​

via GIPHY


Wheatgracias

2/11/2019

 
When bad habits and good habits collide something good can come from it. At least we feel this way because this collision involves relaxing at a spa.

Grand Velas Los Cabos spa on Mexico’s Baja Peninsula wants to mix up fun and health with its Wheatgrass Margarita kit. With February 22nd slated as National Margarita Day, guests of the Wellness Suites will find this gift awaiting them.

Lucky!
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Wheatgrass is high in nutrients and antioxidants like vitamins A, C, and E, as well as iron, magnesium, calcium, and amino acids. It’s also known to lower cholesterol.

Does that mean we can devour a cheeseburger with a wheatgrass shake?

Probably not.

The Wellness Suites offer all kinds of fitness and wellness amenities, including a MUSE brain sensing meditation headband, artisanal soap selection, healthy gluten free snacks and daily juice options, water menu, and an in-suite exercise kit comprised of a yoga mat, dumbbells, resistance bands, and even an exercise bike.

Water menu? That’s fancy. We’ll take ours bottled (it is Mexico).

If you can’t make it to this fab healthy retreat, try this healthy marg recipe.
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​Wheatgrass Margarita

Ingredients:
1 wheatgrass shot (teaspoon of wheatgrass powder diluted in 2 oz of water)
1 ½ oz white tequila
1 oz Cointreau
1 oz lemon juice
½ oz agave honey

Directions:
Combine all ingredients in a shaker, shake and pour over ice.

I *Heart Health* You

2/4/2019

 
Perhaps flowers and candy ain’t your Valentine’s Day style. That’s fine. Perhaps you’re all zen-my-body-is-a-temple goodness. What to do on Valentine’s Day that won’t put you in a sugar coma on a bed of roses and stuffed animals…

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The fitness and nutrition experts Hatherleigh Press have some ideas:

1. START THE DAY WITH STRAWBERRIES
Colorful and oh-so-romantic, strawberries are packed with Vitamin C, which bolsters the immune system. Serve them with low-fat fruit yogurt, and a cup of green tea instead of coffee. Green tea contains powerful blood-thinning agents called flavonoids, which can reduce the risk of dangerous blood clots by 60 percent. Dark chocolate covered strawberries are a great choice, says The Mamma Mia! Diet author Paola Lovisetti Scamihorn.

2. TAKE A YOGA CLASS TOGETHER
Expert Gwen Lawrence, author of Body Sculpting with Yoga, says yoga refreshes, relaxes and restores. It increases strength and flexibility. Enthusiasts even claim yoga boosts your desire! So what are you waiting for?

3. GIVE (AND GET) A MASSAGE
Stock up on a bottle of fragrant massage oil infused with jasmine. Jasmine is a relaxing, sensuous, and alluring scent. Rub those achy shoulders and backs. You’ll be steaming up the room in no time!

4. GET AWAY FOR A HEALTHY WEEKEND
Rather than stay at home, venture to a quiet and cozy bed and breakfast or spa where you can spend the weekend hiking, cross-country skiing, or mountain biking. Perhaps even do some “forest bathing” as recommended by Nina Smiley, author of Mindfulness in Nature.

5. SPICE IT UP IN THE KITCHEN
Cook a delicious low-fat, low-calorie meal together. Experiment with healthy cuisine from around the world. Nutritionist Sara Haas, author of cookbook Taco! Taco! Taco!, suggests you add some real spice, too! Onions, garlic, and ginger are rich in compounds that destroy viruses and bacteria.

6. INDULGE IN A GLASS OF RED WINE
Rather than beer or other alcoholic beverages, opt for a glass of red wine. Red wine is rich with anti-oxidants called phenolics, and red wine drinkers have a 50% lower risk of diabetes.

7. SINGLE? TAKE A GROUP EXERCISE CLASS
Exercise classes are not only very motivating, they are a great way to meet new friends who share a common interest in exercise and health, says expert Hollis Liebman, author of Complete Physique. Treat yourself to new workout attire, while you are at it.

8. BUY YOUR SOULMATE A NEW PAIR OF RUNNING SHOES
Over time, running shoes wear out. The soles no longer act as shock absorbers and the shock gets passed along to your bones and joints. Terri Schneider, endurance athlete and author of the Runner’s Workout Handbook, recommends a brand new pair of running shoes as a great fitness gift which also helps prevent injuries.

9. GO DANCING!
That’s right, dancing is a great way to burn calories together. Try the twist, the foxtrot, or–if you are daring–the tango, the most romantic of all dances. Want more? Dancing can burn over 300 calories per hour.

10. WHATEVER YOU DO... DON’T FORGET A VALENTINE’S CARD
While non-traditional ideas are great fun and can be healthy too, don’t put yourself under needless stress by forgetting to give your special someone a Valentine’s Day card! "Love can be a tonic for all of life’s challenges, so don’t take it for granted," adds Dr. Shaelyn Pham, author of Love Match.
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via GIPHY


The Crack Wise staff applauds such healthy efforts. But we want all the decadent treats for Valentine’s Day. Seriously, Cupid didn’t get to be such an adorable, large-and-in-charge fat ass by doing Downward Dog. He most likely got that way by downing a bunch of hotdogs. And we applaud that. 

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