The Fifth Season

A round of shots for everyone—it’s officially “Flu season”!

Where’s the décor section at Target and Starbucks flavor of this season? Nowhere, because it sucks.

People that know things advise us every year on how to prevent getting the ick:

Get a flu shot

Avoid close contact

Cover your mouth and nose

Wash your hands

Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth

All very helpful tips. But we want real-life answers. So, Crack Wise turned to Comedian Mike Conley of Conley’s Corner. Here are his ways to karate-chop the flu:

Don’t settle for the generic choice of liquid medication. No matter your insurance, only go top shelf. Grey Goose, Maker’s Mark, and of course… The Captain!

Get plenty of fruits and vegetables. Lime wedge for the Captain, orange twist for the Goose, and a couple of olives for your Martinis. I’m not sure if olives are a fruit or a vegetable, but hey… you’ve covered your bases.

Prevention is key! It’s too late if you already have the flu to start self-medicating. In fact you should be having 8-12 ounces of prevention while you’re reading this just to be on the safe side.

Finally, “medicine” we can handle… Eff you, NyQuil.

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