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All About the ZZZZZs

3/13/2019

 
Guess we should all call off from work Friday—because it’s World Sleep Day! 

Picture

With that in mind, New Chapter is pushing it’s nighttime supplement Zyflamend. Catchy name—NOT!

It’s designed to help you enjoy a deep and restful sleep through a combination of multiple time-tested herbs like Lemon Balm, Hops, Chamomile, and Valerian.

Wait. Can’t we get Hops from beer? And Valerian… as in Game of Thrones?

Oh, and this stuff contains Ginger and Turmeric to help reduce the cellular damage caused by free radicals.

We’ve never tried this product because we could sleep on stage during a death metal concert. But you may try if you feel like it.

P.S. The press release for this story cracked us up. Why are the words “hops” and “ginger” capitalized? We capitalized them just cuz.

P.P.S. Check out this snippet: “We have an in-house specialist who can help break it all down for you. She’s our “Clarissa Explains it All” but her name is Charlotte. She is available on-call to guide you through the New Chapter line for all things sleep health.” Why would you reference a Nickelodeon show when it comes to adult health? Why wouldn’t you just rip that reference off and call your chick “Charlotte Explains It All?”


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