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CRACK WISE MAG

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​wellness

​Explore always-relevant tidbits of funformation in our archives...

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Get Stoned

6/22/2020

 
Self-care has become even more crucial in this stressful CF we’re calling 2020. While some feel safe venturing back into spas for their much-needed “me” time, others are not. And that’s totally cool. Treat yourself to some at-home TLC with your own Lava Stone Massage Kit.
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It’s your chance to indulge in a heated massage treatment while reducing stress and strain in the body. The stones remain heated for up to an hour and can be warmed up by simply inserting stone into a Lava Gel sachet and Activator Solution including in the kit. Use the stone anywhere on the body that needs relaxation.

Could be a great way to enjoy virtual spa time with your squad. Everyone is relaxing, having wine, dishing about so-and-so… 

M is Your Friend

6/16/2020

 
Hey, Ladies. Wish you could send your Aunt Flo in quarantine?

Ditto.

While that isn’t possible until the “change”, Midol swears to be our monthly bestie.
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Not only will Lady M knock out pp (period pain), but so will these tips:

You Are What You Eat: Feeling bloated? Foods with high amounts of sodium make the bloating in your body even worse, so even though chips and French fries can be comforting, best to avoid them. Feeling worn out? Foods with high sugar and high doses of caffeine can promote those peaks and valleys in your energy levels. You may feel fatigued before you are going to get your periods, so you load up on coffee or candy, only to have that crash and burn after the fact.

Crack Wise-dom: Sorry, Midol. This is our monthly “excuse” to dip our fries in mayo. We have to find other “excuses” for the other occurrences. Back off!

Get Moving: Whether you stream a workout class or take a quick stroll around the block, exercise during your period gets your blood circulation going which helps reduce cramps.

Crack Wise-dom: Another thing that gets our blood moving? Wine.

Take Midol: The average woman spends 50 days a year treating period-related symptoms, but few treat them with a period-specific product that can provide multi-symptom relief of cramps, bloating, fatigue, water-weight gain, headache, and backache.

Crack Wise-dom: One, nice plug. Two, sounds like we need this every day…

Get a Good Night Zzz’s: People get uncomfortable during their period and if you're uncomfortable, it does become a little bit harder to sleep. In addition to taking Midol to help ease your symptoms, make sure your room where you are sleeping is a comfortable temperature. The ideal temperature is 62 degrees and while that might sound chilly, there is nothing worse than sleeping in a super-hot room where you feel like you're going to perspire through the night.

Crack Wise-dom: Because naked sleeping during this special time has you looking like a hot air balloon with the tether line flowing beneath.
  
Focus on You: Physical discomfort is going to translate into some emotional stress as well, so treating physical symptoms will automatically help you feel emotionally a little bit better. Taking time to do things for yourself - exercise, good diet, the anticipation of your symptoms – can help relieve the mental toll that period symptoms have on your mood.
​
Crack Wise-dom: (Note to self) Take Midol so you don’t punch Karen in her judge-y face at the grocery store. Gotcha.

P.S. Midol’s all proud of their new look. We dig how the new look is like a punch. Because Lady Time feels like a punch to the ovaries…

Everybody Walt Disney Now

5/25/2020

 
Something about cryotherapy gives us the chills. It’s not the deep freezing. It’s the creepy factor (in our minds). Yet, cryotherapy has benefits. So, if you’re in the market for your own chamber, CryoBuilt can hook you up.​
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You can choose your own music, change the color and ambiance of the chamber, and set custom fan speeds and session time for comfort--starting at $90,000. So, maybe you can go into the cryo biz for yourself. It’s all the rage with celebrities and athletes. Who need to live forever…

Luxe Hands

5/18/2020

 
Feel luxurious without the luxe price tag with DefineMe Hands.

We’re doing our part to stay germ-free with all the hand washing and anti-bacterial gel-ing. But who needs to smell like alcohol (unless it’s all that box of wine imbibing while in QT?) HANDS is pleasant smelling—with notes of Peony, Sandalwood, and Jasmine. 
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Most importantly, HANDS is vegan, cruelty-free, and eco-friendly. Its ingredients include 75% Ethyl alcohol (derived from organic sugarcane), aloe vera, and coconut oil. Plus, you get 460 sprays per bottle at a price tag of $15. And, DefineMe is donating $1 from each sale to non-profits that support feeding children and families impacted by COVID-19.

Feel fancy and de-germed all at the same time.

Horizontal Workout

5/11/2020

 
Sometimes you can get a workout in bed, and sometimes you can work out in bed.
 
If space is tight and you don’t want to get a gym membership, then BedGym may be the solution. It’s the first bed workout system that gets you in shape using resistance bands. It’s simple, affordable, and fun. 
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Plus, it’s a low-impact, user-friendly workout that strengthens, tones, and tightens your body. Secure the BedBelt around the fitted sheet; attach the resistance bands; do your exercise thang; hide BedGym under your flat sheet and covers when done. 
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And, it doesn’t matter what your fitness level is. Older adults can use BedGym with success, as well as people with physical limitations, and patients with MS.

Crack Wise-dom:  
Uhhmmmm… don’t leave your sweaty sheets on the bed after a workout. Gross.
​
And… The BedGym could spice up the other aspects of bed activity: wink, wink.

Boosted and Better

4/27/2020

 
While staying at home on the daily might seem miserable, there are some benefits. We have a chance to slow down, reflect, and learn.

Tammy Fry is a health and lifestyle expert and is the force behind Fry Family Foods, which produces over 60 different plant-based brands which can be found in 28 countries around the world.

She is a forever optimist and believes that life is getting better through this pandemic. One way life is getting better--our health. We can focus on taking care of ourselves now that we’re home more, and this is the time to work on our immunity before we wander back out into the unknown.
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Her five tips to boosting immunity include: Good food; Supplements; Natural mood boosters; Calming practices; and--STFU.

This is our favorite, which means: Sleep. To. Feel. Unbelievable.

Tammy says, “Sleep is a wonderful immune booster and let’s face it, a good REM sleep  not only feels good, it grounds you by giving both your body and your mind the rest it needs to mentally, physically and emotionally stave off whatever comes your way. Now that there are no late-night parties, dinner with friends, or drinks at the pub, you can more easily prep to get 7-9 hours of quality sleep. Studies have shown huge benefits to the immune system and increased number of T-cells (immune cells which protect the body from cancer cells and other pathogens), when getting your full sleep quota.”

Crack Wise-dom: Now when we tell someone to STFU, we can tell them it’s because we care about their health. No, really. We do.

P.S. If we attempted what Tammy is doing in the picture above, there’d be a guaranteed health insurance claim.

Like a Glove

4/20/2020

 
Hands down, our hands are taking a beating. Normal activities are bad enough, but throw in the obsessive hand-washing and hand-sanitizing that most of us are engaging in and, well, things are rough.

Regular moisturizers and creams can’t handle this level of raw, dry, cracked-ness. That’s where Gloves In a Bottle waves in.
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This is a shielding lotion that bonds to the skin to create a protective layer that lasts through four hours of washing and sanitizing until it needs to be re-applied. Its unique formula helps rebuild skin so it can hold its own natural oils and moisture again while reducing skin irritation from over-washing.
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It's a miracle!

Stretched

4/13/2020

 
​The gym may be closed to the public for now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t work out—even if your space is small.
If your place is too tight to do a routine via stream, that’s fine. You’ve got your body. Use it.
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​Heather Gunn Rivera, co-founder of Grassroots Fitness Project, says drop to the floor and do these:

1. Pushups (15)
2. Squats and Single Leg Squats (15)
3. Plank Scaption (10)
4. Lunges (20 - 10 each side)
5. Plank (1 minute)
​
*Repeat 3-5 times

Look at you, all fit and fab. No #Quarantine15 for you!

Today's Letter is 'S'

4/6/2020

 
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We live in strange times, united by a bitch named COVID-19. Remember those times you’d lament about only wanting some time to lie around on your couch and do nothing? Now that a lot of nothing is happening, a lot of crazy is setting in--stir crazy, that is.

Author Kay Hutchison of My Life in 37 Therapies has five therapies that begin with “S” to help with our cabin fever.

SLOW DOWN
You now have a once-in-a-life-time opportunity to slow everything down. The strictures are gone, just let it all go. Take time over the simple things in life. Eating, walking, cooking, and sleeping. Perhaps turn off all the notifications on your devices and just check in with things a few times during the day.

SORT YOUR DAY
Even if you aren’t working and having to look after children it’s worth trying to have a degree of routine, a schedule. Nothing too rigid but it’s worthwhile to set out rough times for Working – Eating – Sleeping – Exercising – Relaxing – and having Fun.

SILENCE
Be willing to welcome silence into your day, and even being completely alone. We’ve become used to incessant noise, music, traffic, phone conversations, but it’s not a natural way of being. If you are self-isolating, try to find joy in being on your own. Many people who live alone are probably at an advantage at this time as they are naturally used to being self-sufficient and enjoying their own company. 

SLEEP
As the pressures of society are changing it’s a great opportunity to make time for a good night’s sleep.  You’ve possibly always thought taking a slow, relaxed approach to going to bed was a good idea but never quite managed it. Now might be the time to try. Put down the digital devices in the early evening, ignore the news headlines, take a bath, go to bed with some light reading, perhaps even listening to a guided meditation or some soothing music. 

SELF-HEALING
There’s one simple, no-cost, practice we can do which will help us and our bodies through this time. Slow and gentle breathing. In for a count of 6, hold it for 2, then breathe out for 6. Notice the cool, clean air as you breathe in, the warmer air as you breathe out.

Crack Wise-dom: These are helpful tips. Because we can’t kick COVID-19 in the crotch like we want to…

Sexy Time

3/24/2020

 
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Let’s set the scene:

You’re strongly urged to stay inside so that nasty COVID-19 won’t get you. You don’t have any kids. You have a lot of wine and free time. Put on some saxy music, drop them pants, and get on the Love Train…

Perhaps your love life could use some help. That’s where the Lovers app slides in, so to speak. 
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Dr. Britney Blair is the founder of the largest sex therapy clinic in Northern California and is a behavioral medicine faculty member at Stanford. She desired to create an app that’s personalized, accessible, and science-based.

Lover is your toolkit for more pleasure in bed.

Oooh la la!

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