Tis the season for the holiday office party. A time to kick back. A time (for some) to make an ass of yourself. A time to suck up. The holiday party could be the perfect chance to make a good impression on the “big bosses”. Angela Civitella is a business management coach and found of the firm INTINDE. She has some marvelous tips on how to be savvy and not sauced at the big shindig.

Behave yourself. Don’t laugh. You wouldn’t believe how many people forget themselves when staring down a bowl of eggnog. Let’s ration the levels of alcohol consumed in an environment where you can’t afford to lose your mind, or your manners. Oh, and don’t forget to dress like presence matters to you

Crack Wise-dom: Guess we’ll leave the two-fisting for our own holiday party…

Make the first move. Here’s your moment. Here’s where you make it count. Just a little liquid courage (very little) and off you go to introduce yourself to the person who signs your paycheck. Make sure your drink is in your left hand because you don’t want to extend a clammy cold hand to your boss and have that be your first contact with him or her. Remember to clearly state first and last name and do not forget to mention which department you work in. This is very important. Remember, less is more. Don’t be like a bull in a china shop. Be smooth, light and quick. You have eight seconds to make a lasting impression, not eight minutes.

Crack Wise-dom: So we shouldn’t use the boss to balance our unsteadiness on? Check.

Be social. It is a party after all. You certainly don’t want to be seen as a wall flower or as someone who goes to the bathroom all the time because you don’t know how else to circulate the room, right? And don’t talk about work with the boss. Pick any other subject to engage the boss in conversation with. It is considered poor form to discuss at a holiday event something that can be discussed at the office any day of the week.

Crack Wise-dom: But what about a causal conversation about how Sarah is banging three different co-workers? No?

Include their plus one. You would give yourself away as a corporate climber if you do not pay attention to the person accompanying your boss at the event. Be inclusive, ask them questions and show interest in wanting to get to know them. If your boss brought someone to the office holiday party, chances are this person is important to know and to include.

Crack Wise-dom: But don’t sleep with them. That’s bad…

Make an easy and quick exit. Do not overstay your welcome. You are not the only person that should hold the boss’s attention. They need to make sure everyone is enjoying themselves. Be open, be friendly and be on your way.

Crack Wise-dom: Be quick like a dude with whiskey d&ck… Got it.

​While the majority of people are all swept up in holiday warmth and sappiness, others want to make the Naughty List.

Our pals at WalletHub have compiled a list of 2019’s Most Sinful Cities in America. To determine the most wicked places in America, WalletHub compared more than 180 U.S. cities based on seven sinful behaviors: anger and hatred, jealousy, excesses and vices, greed, lust, vanity and laziness. (Which makes us want to travel to these horrible places.)

Topping the list, as it should--Las Vegas. The least sinful? Pearl Harbor.

Drop these gems on the family at Christmas dinner:

Irvine, California, has the lowest violent crime rate, 0.56, which is 35.9 times lower than in Detroit, the city with the highest at 20.08.

Fremont, California, has the lowest share of obese adults, 15.30 percent, which is 3.1 times lower than in Detroit, the city with the highest at 47.40 percent.

San Jose, California, has the lowest share of adult smokers, 8.20 percent, which is three times lower than in St. Louis, the city with the highest at 24.69 percent.

West Valley City, Utah, has the fewest beauty salons & spas (per square root of population), 0.184699, which is 36.9 times fewer than in New York, the city with the highest at 6.812589.

How sinful is your city? Find out.​

​With Black Friday behind us and Cyber Monday in our face, it’s so tempting to just spend, spend, spend on our family and friends. Because it’s Christmas and stuff. But ringing in the New Year with a hefty credit card bill is not fun, nor credit score smart. 
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Steve Siebold is the author of the book “How Money Works”. He’s a self-made millionaire who has some advice on keeping your spending in check.

Leave your emotions on the shelf: It’s easy to get wrapped up in the spirit of the season, but when it comes to buying gifts this year, leave your emotions on the shelf and let reason be your guide. This is when you must start using logical thinking in the decision-making process. While your spouse might really like that $1,000 necklace, is that really the smartest move if you don’t have the money?

Crack Wise-dom: Buy your spouse Sweet Tarts necklace instead. Say you’re “reliving your youth”. Get ready to sleep in the garage.

Plan ahead: Make a list and check it twice. Before you head to the store, make a list of each person you need to buy for, and allocate a certain amount of money for each of them. Don’t overspend by even a dollar. This is important because if you start overspending by five dollars here and 10 dollars there, it adds up quickly and you can easily go into debt.

Crack Wise-dom: Make your own “Naughty or Nice” list. Determine that 99.9% of the people you know are assh&les. No gifts for them!

Be honest: The last thing your friends and family want is to see you go into debt, or further into debt. Remember, there’s no shame in telling people that this year will be a lean holiday season when it comes to exchanging gifts. People will appreciate your honesty and attention to your finances.

Crack Wise-dom: “Hey, Uncle Larry. You really are a giant douche. So, I don’t want to spend my hard-earned money on you.” #LeanChristmasForYou

Don’t get caught up in the moment: If your shopping cart is overflowing, step back, regroup and make sure you can really afford everything you plan to purchase. While there are some good deals to be had, don’t fall for marketing campaigns that make you feel as if you’re getting a great deal when you’re really not (i.e. buy it today – pay for it tomorrow). The key is to be mentally tough to know when enough is enough.

Crack Wise-dom: We don’t need an 85-inch 4k TV. Our home isn’t even 85-inches big.

Don’t pull out the plastic: Don’t even think of using a credit card unless you are 100% sure you can comfortably pay it off at the end of the month. The last thing anyone needs is to get hit with high interest rates and a blemish on their credit score. Ask yourself this critical thinking question: Would I rather have the short-term satisfaction of expensive material possessions, or the long-term results of financial freedom and abundance?

Crack Wise-dom: The only plastic we’re interested in is the containers with the leftovers. What are we talking about here?

Learn from the past: Did you overspend last holiday season or some other year in the past? Remember how it set you back financially? Remember how bad it felt when you opened up your credit card statement and realized you couldn’t pay it all? Revisit that pain and how miserable you felt before you start shopping this holiday season. 

Crack Wise-dom: Remember how it hurt getting kicked in the nuts? Yeah. That.

Black Friday, Black Schmiday. If you’re feeling déjà vu-y with this year’s “deals” that’s because this year’s deals are last year’s—when it comes to certain retailers.

WalletHub uncovered the black Black Friday truth—that 18 percent of deals are recycled. Harbor Freight is the Number One offender, followed by Office Depot and OfficeMax and Ace Hardware.

Should Santa put these folks on the naughty List?
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Check this out:
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​Props to Costco for keepin’ it deal-y always.

P.S. We’ll take a gift whether it’s a re-deal or not…

While Clark Griswold has the exterior Christmas lighting covered, why not be the Clark Griswold of the indoor lighting world? You know you want to. And BlissLight will help you earn that crown with its groove-tastic laser lights. 
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BlissLights were originally made for theme parks, then re-engineered for homeowners wanting that same sparkle.

Top your tree with the Laser Christmas Tree Topper: This festive laser tree topper adds color to your tree and projects brilliant laser stars on your ceiling! Classic five-pointed star design also glows from within, featuring a color-changing LED light show. Available in silver or gold trim, plus your choice of red or green laser stars. Velcro and stake base mounts easily to any tree and provides excellent stability. Energy efficient USB-powered design! Includes a wall adapter plug to easily connect to traditional outlets.

Set the mood with a SKY lite: Instantly projects a galaxy of moving green stars against a transforming blue nebula cloud. Enhance your home theater experience, sleep under the stars, or light a romantic dinner for two with a simple push of a button.

Or, make any space the ultimate with a Starport Laser USB: plug this portable tiny magic maker into any USB and instantly transform your space with hundreds of pinpoints of light.

WWGD? (What Would Griswold Do) Get all three and own the indoors!

P.S. Snag some BlissLights on Amazon...

Take a break from the torturous/embarrassing questions 'round the Thanksgiving table, and drop some good ol' knowledge on your peeps. You can thusly be deemed "The drunk-yet-knows stuff Uncle Larry." It's a step up from just being drunk and pathetic.

You can thank WalletHub for their hard work and wealth of knowledge that you'll take credit for.

While passing the mashed potatoes, you could drop this gem: $313 is what the average person spends over the five-day Thanksgiving period. (Guess that's Wednesday through Sunday?)

While going for that second helping, keep in mind that it will take 10 hours and 33 minutes to burn the 4,500 calories consumed at the average Thanksgiving meal. WTH are you eating!?!?

And please, no deep frying the turkey near the house. Property loss caused by residential fires each Thanksgiving is around $19 million.

Enjoy your feast, and your fat, lazy nap...

P.S. Here’s some more stuff you can read-up on while stuffing the stuffing. 

Thanksgiving. You remember this holiday, though many retailers have seemed to have forgotten it. You know, that holiday that falls between Halloween and Christmas? Happens every November? Yes, that one. There are people amongst us that love Thanksgiving for the food and fellowship, and-- gratitude.

Instead of sticking the kids at the kids table this year, why not celebrate Kidsgiving in advance? Hey, if we grown folk can throw a Friendsgiving bash, why not something for the littles?

On-line event planner The Bash has whipped (potatoes?) up a couple of cool kid-friendly ideas:

Charlie Brown Celebration: Throw A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving viewing party! Kids can come to the get-together as their favorite movie characters, such as Snoopy or Linus, to watch the film and eat a delicious potluck dinner of popcorn, buttered toast and more. During the party, you can pass out a Peanuts quiz for kids to take, and you can set up a T-shirt making station where the youngsters can create a Peanuts character on the shirt. To take the party to the next level, invite Snoopy as a special guest by hiring a costumed character.

Football Fest: Organizing a Turkey Bowl to play with family or friends and watching pros throw around the football on TV are essential Thanksgiving Day traditions. For some fresh air and exercise, host a tag football party for kids. Divide the group into two teams, and have two adults, either one of the kids’ parents or a member of your own family, volunteer as captains or coaches to make sure things are running smoothly. Remind the kids that the game is touch football, not tackle. The winning team will get to help themselves to a piece of a football-shaped cake first.

Giving Thanks Party:  For a more mindful approach, focus on gratitude. After all, gratitude is more than just a buzz-worthy self-care trend on Instagram. This theme reminds kids—and adults too!—to count their blessings. For a kid-friendly craft activity, set up a thank-you card station. If you want to add a little show and tell action, ask everyone to go around the table and share one thing they are thankful for this holiday season.

Wonderful ideas!

Or, if you wanna do Kidsgiving the Crack Wise Way: the kids all sit on the floor, in the corner, eating Chef Boyardee products and Hi-C. This is a reminder that if they misbehave during the main event (Thanksgiving), they'll be re-living this scenario all over again... 

Pets bring so much joy into our lives. Bringing home a fur baby from a shelter is one of the coolest things you can do. National Animal Shelter Rescue Appreciation Week is November 3-9.

Mutual Rescue is a non-profit animal welfare initiative founded by Carol Novello, who recently authored the book “Mutual Rescue: How Adopting a Homeless Animal Can Save You, Too.”

If you’ve ever had an inkling about rescuing an animal, check out these amazing stories:

An adopted German shepherd mix helps a young couple bond again. Devastated by the death of their newborn baby, Lana gave them an outlet for their grief.

A homeless kitten named Lollipop touches a couple’s hearts and guides them to a safe harbor. Bhuvana and Abhishek’s marriage hit unexpected turbulence that caused them to drift apart, until they met a kitten.

An unadoptable cat with a chronic illness and an autistic girl form an instant and unexpected bond.

The story of a strong dog and strong man building each other back up. After taking in an abused pit bull, a young competitive athlete suffers a debilitating stroke.

Rescuing a neglected dog becomes a catalyst for change in a woman’s life. Sarah’s chronic pain led her to become addicted to drugs, then her adopted dog helps her find a path to a new life.

An unlikely feline savior saves Josh from taking his own life and leads him to a life he never imagined. We follow a young soldier from a battlefield in Iraq — where he sustained traumatic injuries — to Fort Riley, Kansas, where he meets Scout.

So what are you waiting for? Better than bringing home a stray “dog” or “cat” from the local watering hole, if you know what we mean…

The holidays are almost here, and that means gathering, eating, wine-ing, and winning! There is no better way to make memories-- or get Uncle Larry so flustered that his head will explode-- than with a spirited board game.

LLAMAS UNLEASHED: (Hope this isn't like Girls Gone Wild...)
Gather up llamas, alpacas, goats, and rams. Be the first player with seven animals in their field to win.
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Crack Wise-dom: This could go horribly wrong when one family member goes missing to collect real animals after too much Boone's.

UNSTABLE UNICORNS: (We know someone who's unstable enough to think she's a unicorn. Her name rhymes with "Harah".)
A strategic card game that will destroy your friendships-- in a good way. Build a Unicorn Army. Betray your friends. Unicorns are your friends now.

Crack Wise-dom: Is this a bio of "Crazy Harah's" life? Cuz she betrayed her family by touching her boss's "unicorn horn". Allegedly.)

RUNES & REGULATIONS: (Whew! Glad it's not "prunes" and "regurgitations".)
Immerse yourself in a world of magic and the mundane by summoning mythical pets and casting powerful spells, all within the comfort of your own home.

Crack Wise-dom: Casting powerful spells? From the comfort of our lazy ass in sweatpants? Yes! Not sorry, Uncle Larry, that your fossil ween fell off... #spellcasting
 
Check these games out. And maybe get checked-- all in the name of fun...

​Why does aging have to be so difficult? Why must aches and pains, and wrinkles and sagging, and hair loss be the norm?

This ain’t cool. By the age of 50, 85 percent of men will experience visible hair loss. While some athletes and celebs are rockin’ the chrome-dome look, many don’t want to lose their hair appeal.

But there is hope—that won’t cost you a fortune.

“Though there are some issues, such as male pattern baldness, that you have no control over, you can increase the health an appearance of your hair in most cases,” says Dr. Chris Varona of Varona Hair Restoration. “Also, some people may be doing things that contribute to their hair loss without even knowing it.”

Here are six ways to promote growth and maintenance of health hair:

Brush daily. Brushing hair daily with a natural bristle brush helps stimulate hair follicle growth through scalp massage.

Avoid harmful accessories and hair products. Many hair products are laden with harmful chemicals, and those can lead to dryness, breakage and overall poor hair health.

Eat healthy. A healthy diet encourages hair growth, whereas diets high in fats, salt, alcohol or sugar can inhibit hair growth.

Hydrate. Dr. Varona says you should drink six to eight glasses of water per day. “Water encourages cellular growth and reproduction and helps the body remove toxins,” he says.

Block DHT. “Dr. Varona notes that the presence of DHT and male pattern baldness leads to progressive thinning over a lifetime. “Adding a medication like Finasteride to block the effect of DHT or minoxidil foam to increase blood flow can significantly reduce hair thinning,” Dr. Varona says.

Consider hair restoration.  According to a survey by the International Society of Hair Restoration Surgery, hair restoration procedures have risen 60% over the past five years.

Crack Wise Aside: We can do 1 & 2, maybe 3 and 4. But 5 & 6 sound weird and pricey… Maybe we’ll design some badass man-wigs and make a fortune. Somehow “badass” and “man-wig” don’t belong together…