Butterflies and nervous laughter. Sparkle in the eyes and awkward convo. Ah, yes. The beginnings of new love. So fun and carefree and perfect.
Then comes marriage and building a life. But then one day the two of you find yourselves without commonality. No sparks. No witty convo.
Relationships are work. Every day. Work. Here are some tips from authors and experts Tod Jacobs and Peter Lynn on how to get your marriage back on track.
We have some tips, too. We're experts, you know! We don't what that is, exactly...
Take a second and think back to your first date. Odds are you spent hours on google searching for the perfect restaurant, found a way to leave work early in order to get ready and showed up in-style.
Gradually, those dates - and the exciting preparation for them - took a back seat. It’s an unfortunate reality, but the natural grind of life and routine in relationships can weigh heavy on our ability to be fresh and exciting. But it’s not too late!
Revisit that first date spark and the depth of love and commitment will climb back!
Here are the rules:
- Make the date
- Keep it consistent but not routine
- Try to get out -- If you can’t go out, stay in - but change the lighting and music and add a bottle of wine
- And always look your best!
Crack Wise-dom: Dudes, don’t wear your sweats with the hole in the crotch. Save that for later. Meow.
Chances are when you first started dating, you’d wait to take your phone back out at the end of the night and find 5 missed calls and 20 unanswered texts. But now a call can’t wait and our thumbs are glued to the next text. Somehow, our phones and computers have become a second (or first…) spouse to many of us. What's the fix?
It all comes down to bracketing out time. If we set aside time dedicated to our spouse, then it requires our full attention. Would you text anyone or even think about taking a phone call in front of your boss? Of course not! So why is that acceptable with the most important person in your life? The answer: It’s not.
Technology can play an amazing role in the service of our relationships, but it can also cause subtle destruction.
Here’s the rule: the time spent together should be without distraction. In other words, when you set aside time to relate to your spouse, do not relate with your phone.
Crack Wise-dom: Put the phone down. Or you’ll end up storing it in your hind end. Capice?
We strive to be creative in our careers, strive to reinvent ourselves in the workspace in order to earn our keep and make our boss justify our salary.
On the other hand, once we get to marriage, our creativity “A” game seems to drift away. We tend to think that marriage is not a “job,” but in truth the responsibilities we have to our spouse are endless. With the recognition that I am responsible for this person, that this person deserves my best, my drive for creativity and performance shoots up.
Think outside the box.
Buy something special.
Go somewhere different.
Explore yourselves and explore the world. Coming up with creative solutions to build your marriage keeps the energy high, the moments fresh, and will show your spouse how important the relationship is to you.
Crack Wise-dom: Meet you at the no-tell motel. Bring the bed bug spray. Holla!