Funformation |
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Funformation |
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Coffee. You love it. A lot. Some need it to survive; others, to not homicide someone. But not all coffee is the same, let's be real. That tar that's in every workplace (except for cool places like FB and Google headquarters) isn't that great. Maybe you need a coffee-connoisseur bucket list. It's not surprising that the West Coast is the best coast for coffee, according to Rent.com. Seattle is the froth on top, followed by San Francisco, and Portland. Maybe you can't live your ultimate coffee dreams, so perhaps some kick-ass coffee cake will make that tar better. Courtesy of simplyrecipes.com: Classic Coffee CakeIngredients: For the streusel topping: 1 cup (150g) brown sugar, packed 1 cup (96g) all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon Pinch kosher salt 1/2 cup (113g) unsalted butter, very soft For the cinnamon layer: 1/4 cup (50g) sugar 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon For the cake batter: 3 cups (384g) all-purpose flour 2 1/4 cups (450g) sugar 3/4 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt 1 cup (227g) unsalted butter, very soft 1 cup (227g) sour cream 1/4 cup whole milk 4 large eggs 1 tablespoon vanilla extract Instructions: Preheat the oven to 350°F and butter or spray a 9x13 inch pan. In a small bowl combine flour, brown sugar, cinnamon, and salt. Use a fork to mash the butter into the mixture until completely combined and crumbly. In another small bowl, combine sugar, flour, and cinnamon. Set both to the side. In the bowl of your mixer, add flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and kosher salt. Using the paddle attachment for your stand mixer, stir on low to combine. Add the softened butter and beat on medium-low speed for 2-3 minutes, or until all of the butter is mixed in and the mixture resembles moist sand. In a medium bowl, whisk together the sour cream, milk, eggs, and vanilla until combined. Add the mixture to the dry ingredients. Beat the batter on medium speed until you get a smooth batter. A few small lumps are totally fine. Spread half of the batter into the prepared pan. Sprinkle the cinnamon-sugar layer over the top of the batter in an even layer. Spread the remaining batter over the top (this does require some patience since the batter likes to lift off the cinnamon-sugar layer). Top the final layer of batter with the crumble mixture. Bake for 55 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool on a rack for 1 hour (or until the cake comes to room temperature) before serving. You can make this cake a day or two in advance. Remove the cake from the pan and cover with plastic wrap. Keep it on the counter. To freeze the cake, wrap it in plastic, followed by foil.
When it comes to big, spooky good times, apparently the big cities are where it’s at. WalletHub gathered some info and “carried the one,” and determined that NYC is the top place to be for Halloween, followed by L.A., and Vegas.
Why? Based on things like candy and chocolate stores per capita, to the average price per Halloween party ticket, and potential trick-or-treat stops.
Source: WalletHub
That’s great and all, but nothing brings the feels like a hometown Halloween. So we say you take your kids around the ‘hood for treats, then gather together at home for fun and feasting.
Try this spookylicious recipe from Kraft. Cheesy Mummy Wrapped Dogs
Ingredients: 1 can (8 oz.) refrigerated crescent dinner rolls 4 KRAFT Singles, cut diagonally in half 8 OSCAR MAYER Beef Franks Instructions: Heat oven to 375°F. Unroll dough into 8 triangles. Place Singles triangles and franks at short ends of triangles; roll up. Place, seam-sides down, on baking sheet. Bake 12 min. or until golden brown. Where or where do the vampires go? For funsies, Lawn Starter felt the need to discover where the best places are for vampires to live. You know, they have some specific needs, and such. It appears that fang-tastic living is in Illinois, with two cities in the top three. Naperville is number one; Chicago is number three. Which leaves Pittsburgh in the runner-up spot. What makes Naperville and Chicago so attractive? Chicago has an active vampire community at more than 700 members (who knew?), plus it took first place in the "food and drink" category-- meaning a large population and a high number of blood centers and drives. Meanwhile, suburban Naperville is perfect because of cloud cover, available basements for vamp dwelling, and a healthy blood supply. Maybe if you're still Twilight fang-girlin', you need to take a trip to Naperville. Or mention your blood-sucking love on Tinder. Vampire's Kiss Cocktail*recipe courtesy of thespruceeats.com Ingredients: 3/4 ounce raspberry liqueur, divided, plus more for rim Red sugar, for rimming 1 1/2 ounces vodka 1 1/2 ounces sparkling wine Instructions: Rim a cocktail glass with red sugar: Wet the rim by dipping it in a shallow dish of raspberry liqueur then roll it in red sugar until evenly coated. Pour the vodka and half of the raspberry liqueur into the glass. Top with Champagne. Pour the remaining Chambord over the back of a spoon so it floats on top of the drink. Serve and enjoy. New York may have Hell's Kitchen, but the heat is on in Miami. For those looking to put on the chef's hat for a career, Miami is the place. According to Lawn Starter, the food industry is large in Miami with the best job growth, job outlook, and awesome cooking programs. With South Beach, a bunch of art deco hotels with yummies, and Café con Leche, well.... bring on the Latin flavors! With that in mind, tempt your tastebuds with this Latin dish: Arroz Tapado*courtesy of allrecipes Ingredients: 2 cups uncooked white rice 4 cups water 1 egg 1 potato, peeled and cubed 1 cup vegetable oil for frying 3 small tomatoes, coarsely chopped ½ cup water 1 tablespoon vegetable oil ½ large onion, finely chopped 3 cloves garlic, chopped 1 teaspoon ground dried aji chile ½ teaspoon ground cumin ¼ teaspoon ground black pepper 2 teaspoons chopped fresh oregano 1 pound lean ground beef 2 large carrots, peeled and cubed ¼ cup frozen peas 1 tablespoon peanut butter 1 teaspoon chopped fresh cilantro 1 teaspoon chopped fresh tomato 1 teaspoon ketchup Instructions: Bring the rice and 4 cups of water to a boil in a saucepan over high heat. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer until the rice is tender, and the liquid has been absorbed, 20 to 25 minutes. Place the egg into a saucepan, and cover with water by 1 inch. Cover the saucepan and bring the water to a boil over high heat. Once the water is boiling, remove from the heat and let the egg stand in the hot water for 15 minutes. Pour out the hot water, then cool the egg under cold running water in the sink. Peel once cold. Chop the egg and set aside in a small bowl. Heat 1 cup of vegetable oil in a deep-fryer or large saucepan to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Deep fry the potato cubes until golden brown, about 5 minutes; drain on paper towels, and set aside. Place tomatoes and 1/2 cup of water in a blender, and puree until tomatoes are liquefied (peel and seed first, if desired). Heat 1 tablespoon of vegetable oil in a large skillet over medium heat, and cook and stir the onion, garlic, aji chile powder, cumin, black pepper, and oregano until the onion begins to brown, 8 to 10 minutes; pour in the pureed tomatoes, and simmer for 5 more minutes, stirring often. Mix in the ground beef and carrots, and cook until the meat is no longer pink and the carrots are tender, about 10 minutes. Break the meat up into small chunks as it cooks. Mix in the chopped hard-cooked egg, peas, and peanut butter until thoroughly combined. Finally, gently stir in the cubes of fried potato. To assemble the dish, oil a flexible plastic bowl (at least 1 cup size) and press cooked rice into the bottom to fill 1/3 of the bowl. Layer about 3/4 inch of meat mixture over the rice, and top with more cooked rice to fill the bowl. With an oiled hand, gently press on the rice to compact the mixture; place a serving plate on top of the bowl, flip, and turn out the rice and meat-filled form. Repeat with remaining ingredients. Garnish with sprinkles of cilantro, chopped tomato, and dollops of ketchup on each serving.
How romantical is your town or city? Probably never really thought about it, and who knew there could be such bragging rights, but… Mixbook.com compiled some info and created a Mixbook Romance Index (fancy!) which examines the number of romance themed photo books and other thoughtful items created on their platform.
So who takes the big red heart? The Big Apple. Well, maybe not just NYC—but the state of is the most wanting to make that love photo book. New Jersey is second, followed by Florida. New Jersey? All we can imagine is some Snooki big-haired-themed book of all the guidos she’s loved before. Ick. Whatevs. Maybe it’s something in the water in that Jersey/NY area. Fine. Make this romantic cocktail, then create a photo book. #romancehandled Love Potion Cocktail
*recipe courtesy of alwaystheholidays.com
Ingredients:
1½ ounces Vodka ½ ounce Peach Schnapps 3 ounces Pink Grapefruit juice 1 Candy heart Ice cubes Drop of red food coloring (optional) Instructions: Partially fill a martini shaker with ice. Pour in the Vodka, Peach Schnapps, and Grapefruit Juice. Shake well and strain into martini glass. Garnish with a pink striped straw that has a candy heart on a tooth pick inserted into the end.To get a richer pink color, you can add a drop of red food coloring to the drink, but this is optional.
Burgers are a big deal. Seriously. A joint is only as good as its burger. So, where in all of the U.S, is the best place to get a burger? According toLawn Love, that would be Washington D.C. We would've pictured D.C. as the #1 place for beef jerky (you know what we mean). But we digress. Let's get beefy with the best burgers in your kitchen (we'll send your certificate of achievement telepathically). Try this one from Creole Contessa.
Baked Butter BurgerIngredients: 2 1/2 lbs ground beef 8 tablespoons butter 1 red onion, diced 1 1/2 tablespoon seasoned salt 1 1/2 tablespoon garlic powder 1 1/2 tablespoons onion powder 1 tablespoon black pepper 1 tablespoon paprika Sliced cheese Slider buns or regular hamburger buns Instructions: Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Mix seasoning blend together and set aside. Butter a 9X13 casserole dish. Add two tablespoons of butter to a pan over medium heat. Add onion, season with 1 tablespoon of seasoning blend and cook for about 5 minutes. Allow onions to cool. Add meat, onions and spices to a large bowl and mix well. Place meat into buttered casserole dish and flatten well. Top meat with remaining butter and bake at 400 degrees for 35 minutes. Remove from oven, top with cheese and broil for 2 minutes or until cheese melts. Burgers can be cut into 6 regular size burgers or 12 slider size. Assemble burger on your favorite buns and top with condiments. When you like pretty things, but don't have the ambition to go all "garden and landscaping" you do the planter thing. Plus, planters can range in sizes and can jazz up any area instantly. (Is "jazzing up" still a thing? Was it a thing?) Here's how to planter like a pro, with tips from Bremec Gardens: Step 1 - Gather Your Materials Select a planter that appeals to you and more importantly fits the area you intend it for. Choose a quality potting soil. Decide which plants are best suited for a fall planter. Keep in mind this rule: Thriller, fillers & spiller. Crack Wisedom: Michael Jackson? Step 2 - Choose a Thriller Thriller plants add height and drama to any planter. They can be flowering, foliage or ornamental grasses and are usually placed center or rear of the planter. Crack Wisedom: What about Billie Jean? We're not gonna let this go... Step 3 - Fill up Space Fillers are rounded plants designed to “fill” space and make the planter look full. Place around or in front of the thriller. Crack Wisedom: So a filler that looks like Kim Kardashian's ass... Step 4 - Don't Forget to Add a Spiller Spiller plants usually “spill over” the sides of the container and are often of the vine family. Place close to the edge so they cascade. Crack Wisedom: Think "drunk uncle at Thanksgiving". Step 5 - Make it Yours Seasonal decorations provide personality. Crack Wisedom: Perhaps we need to add seasonal stuff to our person, as to appear personable.
We've discovered the awesomeness that is using gourds (think pumpkin and butternut squash) in savory recipes. We've dabbled with Butternut Squash Fettuccine Alfredo, and now-- courtesy of Food Network: Pumpkin Lovers Lasagna.
Garfield would be so happy... Pumpkin Lovers Lasagna
Ingredients: Kosher salt 1 head escarole, coarsely chopped 1 head garlic, cloves separated but not peeled 6 tablespoons butter 10 to 12 fresh sage leaves, torn 1 pound butternut squash, peeled and cut into bite-size pieces Freshly ground pepper 1 1/2 cups chicken stock 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour 3 cups milk Freshly grated nutmeg Two 15-ounce cans pure pumpkin puree 3 eggs 2 cups fresh ricotta 2 cups freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano 1 box no-boil flat lasagna 12 ounces Italian Fontina, Fontina Val D'Aosta or Gouda cheese, shredded Directions: Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Bring a few inches water to a boil in a large pot and add salt. Cook the escarole for 5 minutes, then drain. Cover the garlic cloves with water in a saucepan and simmer for 20 minutes. Drain and let cool. Squish the garlic pulp from the jackets into a bowl and mash with a fork. Meanwhile, melt 3 tablespoons butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Add the sage and stir. Add the squash, stir and season with salt and pepper. Add the chicken stock and cook, stirring occasionally, for 15 minutes. All the stock should be absorbed and the squash should be lightly browned and tender. Remove from the heat. Melt the remaining 3 tablespoons butter in another medium saucepan over medium heat. Add the flour and whisk for 1 minute. Whisk in the milk and mashed garlic and season with salt, pepper and a little nutmeg. Cook until slightly thickened (the sauce should just coat the back of the spoon evenly without breaking up on the spoon's surface). Whisk together the pumpkin puree, 2 eggs and some salt and pepper in a small bowl. In another bowl, whisk together the ricotta, half the Parmigiano-Reggiano and the remaining egg. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Soak the lasagna sheets in water for 5 minutes. Pour about half the garlic sauce into the bottom of a 9 by 11-inch baking dish. Add a layer of lasagna sheets and then half the pumpkin mixture. Make another layer of lasagna sheets and spread with all of the ricotta mixture, followed by the squash and then escarole. Top with half the Fontina, another layer of lasagna sheets, the remaining pumpkin and another layer of lasagna sheets. Finish with the remaining garlic sauce and sprinkle with the remaining Parmigiano-Reggiano and Fontina. Bake the lasagna, covered, for 45 minutes. Raise the oven temperature to 400 degrees F and continue to bake, uncovered, for 15 minutes more. Let rest for 15 minutes, then cut and serve. |
AuthorThe cracked Crack Wise Staff-- warriors of the Funformation Movement. Archives
May 2024
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