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CRACK WISE MAG

the crack files: sounds

​Explore always-relevant tidbits of funformation in our archives...

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Stars in His Eyes

12/28/2018

 
They are many indicators of “making it”. Hit singles. Piles of cash. Longevity in the biz. Having a musical made out of your life or your work.

Guess Foreigner is historic, because a new musical built around its massive music catalog will premiere in Toronto on February 20th.

Jukebox Hero, The Musical tells the story of the biggest factory closing down operations in Blaydon, Pennsylvania. With unemployment and depression set to hit the rust-belt town, the community calls on Ryan—a local boy-turned rock star—for help. Ryan has a lot of bad blood with his hometown and must confront his past and a lot of other demons. 
​
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CREDIT: DON MOLYNEAUX

So why a Foreigner musical? Because lead founder/guitarist Mick Jones had a chance encounter with Diana Ross in an airport lounge in the 80s. She told Mick that the music of Foreigner belonged in a stage production.

Thirty years later…

We’re thinking Toronto is a cool city; Foreigner’s music is cool. So, let’s grab our passports and check out this musical!
​

K-tastic!

12/25/2018

 
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When we first saw the name Monsta X, we thought this artist was a rapper. Or this was a new product Monistat product for the super-yeast infection.

We were so wrong on both fronts. Monsta X is a K-Pop group. For those of you unfamiliar, K-Pop is short for “Korean Pop” music. Since Crack Wise Editor-in-Chief Kathy Vogel has some Korean flavoring in her gene pool, we were excited to know these cuties have released their first all-English single “Shoot Out”.

These boys can sing, rap and dance. Here’s the official video. Sorry, it’s not in English. But what’s cool is that you can appreciate the song, vocals and instrumentation without knowing what in the af they’re saying.

“Walker walker walker growling”
​


What a Mother Mother

12/21/2018

 
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Aside: We love band photos. Especially ones like this where the photog makes each member look... somewhere. Props to ol' boy in the back (beardo) who's just looking up. LOL

They’ve been kickin’ around for a decade and they can’t be stopped. Canadian band (we won’t hold their nation of origin against them) Mother Mother is following up their popularity—41 million streams—with a new album entitled: Dance and Cry.

Their tune “Get Up” is reminiscent of “Werewolves of London” with the howling. 


And again, army boots + alt music = life. Not sure we’d wear a bathing suit with said army boots. It’s kind of counter-productive, don’t you think? Like jeans and a tank top; flip flops and socks...
​

Praise

12/19/2018

 
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If you strip the labels off of Christian Contemporary music, you might find you like it. Planetshakers has a fun, vibrant, praise-filled song, “Heaven on Earth”.
Is there talk of God, the Kingdom and Jesus? Yup. What we enjoy about CCM is that it’s good music with a message that doesn’t feel like an uncomfortable wooden church pew with no cushion.

“When Jesus taught us to pray, He encouraged us to ask for God’s Kingdom to come on earth as it is in Heaven. This is the heart and desire of this song. That we would experience the Kingdom of God. This Kingdom of joy, freedom, peace and healing as we worship together. And as the presence of God is manifest. This Our prayer is that listeners will listen to this song and experience a piece of Heaven on earth.” - Joshua Brown, Planetshakers

Whether you believe or not, this song is uplifting. No Crack Wising here. Just wise listening.

Soothe your soul with this one.
​

No Labels

12/14/2018

 
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We quite enjoy when love songs aren’t about true love. Props to Whitney Woerz for not defining a relationship status in “Love Me Not”. Not only does she have consignment-store-chic, she has tons of subtle confidence. 

While we love love, just enjoying some lovin’ is fine, too.
​

But if you decide to label things, Whitney, write a song about it. We’re probably gonna love it. 

Toothy Grin

12/12/2018

 
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She’s a Disney star, which means she sings, too. We’re okay with that. Meg Donnelly’s “Smile” makes us, indeed, smile.

Just come back and watch this video if the weather is disagreeable and your disposition is gloomy.
​

Ah… all better now.

We usually want to roundhouse-kick a Disney "starlet" (ie: pain in the booty) in the head. But not this time. So...  way to go, Meg!
​

Where's Bones & Brennan?

12/7/2018

 
“Bones” is a song from Culture Wars. Cool song. We hear actual instrumentation, a real guitar, and the lead singer’s voice works. But let’s watch the video:
​

Crack Wise
has three takeaways from this video:

One: This chick is gonna get a lot of ball grease on her. And then more later if dude plays his cards right. Wink, wink.

Two: Why don’t we ever see a hot chick dancing like this during our bowling league? All we get is some two-tons-of-fun female in a four-sizes-too-small t-shirt with nacho cheese sauce stains, and her whale tail hangin’ out while dancing around to “Pour Some Sugar on Me” like she’s Demi Moore from Striptease.

Three: R&B artists Bell, Biv, DeVoe warned us to “Never trust a big butt and a smile.” In the alt music world, never trust a skinny chick in army boots.​

Man for Mankind

12/4/2018

 
Oberhofer (short for: Brad Oberhofer) has this new tune out called: “Dreamt I Was Gonna Be Your Man.” 

“Usually, musical ideas come to me through observing the light in darkness, the darkness in light, and sometimes through observing the darkness in darkness. Not often enough do they come from observing the lightness in light, and the potential chaos that lies within it. This song is about a dream that came true,” said Oberhofer.

Sometimes, we believe artists just say things like the above to sound cool. Cuz we don’t know WTH he really means. What we do know, is that we find this song quirky. And the video—you’ve got to see it and get that retro vibe.
​

Oberhofer is like some sort of superhero, and since we’re accident-prone-- this is awesome.

Personally, we think Oberhofer is The Hoff’s younger, alter ego. Both musicians; both got some type of German-lovin’ going on; both with questionable hair….

FYI: We saw this same fuzzy/furry coat at Target… so we need to have it so we can channel our inner pop star.
​

via GIPHY


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