An Open Letter

The Kardashian/Jenner clan should be on their knees (familiar position) thanking sister Kim and momma/momager Kris for their contribution to the world and letting us know who these beyotchs be. Momma K is *this close* to negotiating a $300 million pay day for appearing on Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

I think they should write sis and mom a letter.

Dear Kim & Mommy,

Kimmie—thank you so much for letting Ray J bang you “secretly” on video. Your vageen is, indeed, golden, and has brought us such good fortune and infamy. Had it not been for Ray J’s trip to Magical Vagina Land, we would’ve ended up working at 7-11. We’re not meant to work an honest day in our lives.

Mommy—thank you so much for being a sleazy opportunist. Most moms would be mortified that their little girl was caught on video playing the skin flute, but not you! You saw dollar signs and brokered a deal of a lifetime. Now, we’re household names! And some of us are billionaires for doing absolutely nothing! P.S. Tell our stepdad, Satan, we’re grateful to him, too.

Hugs,
Kourtney, Khloe, Kylie and Kendall

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