So many "holidays". So little time.

Saturday, October 26th, we shall all gather together to celebrate: World Swim Day.
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Yup. It's an "international holiday that empowers people around the world to be more active through swimming. The holiday promotes living a healthy lifestyle through swimming and raises awareness for the importance of water safety."

That's cool. But we have no place to swim. And our bodies are never any-season ready. But, we will spread the word. Like a bad belly flop.

P.S. Can you pay to create a national holiday? Because we need a Crack Wise Day of Crack Wise-ing...

National Breast Cancer Awareness Month is a day away. With that in mind, the Vibrant Body Company introduces the world’s first “clean” bra designed specifically for women’s breast health, wellness, and comfort.
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"Every aspect of the Vibrant Bra is intentional and made with a women's body in mind," said Vibrant Founder and CEO Michael Drescher. "When a woman says, 'my bra is killing me,' she usually means her bra is annoyingly uncomfortable. The irony is that the underwire and chemicals in her bra may actually be affecting her health and well-being. We took this to heart when we designed our bra."

In Europe, more than 1,300 harmful chemicals and compounds are banned from clothing—but are legal in the U.S. The Vibrant folk ain’t having any of the nasty.

“The Vibrant Bra is extraordinarily comfortable and is free of potentially harmful chemicals and dyes, but we didn't stop there," said Heidi Lehmann, Vibrant's master designer and one of the world's foremost intimate apparel designers. "We wanted a bra that gives women an amazing shape and lift, creating a sexy glow of self-confidence for our customers."

Keep them girls healthy and get “vibrant”. The company will donate 5% of all net sales between October 1st and December 31st to the Breast Cancer Alliance.

Trying to get preggo, but a love connection isn’t happen in the womb? Revamping the diet (for both men and women) may help.

Dr. Zaher Merhi, Director of Research & Development in IVF Technologies at New Hope Fertility Center, says supplements are great and all—but it’s best to receive nutrients from whole food sources.

Here’s a fertility feast:
Sunflower seeds and sunflower seed butter - Sunflower seeds are a great source of Vitamin E, which has been shown to boost sperm count and motility.

Freshly squeezed grapefruit and orange juice - Both grapefruit and orange juice are high in polyamine putrescine, which is thought to improve egg and semen health.

Mature cheeses - These are high in polyamines, which keep the reproductive system healthy by boosting egg quality in women over 35.

Full fat yogurt and ice cream - Women who consumed full fat dairy products were less likely than women who consumed low fat products to have ovulation problems.

Indulge in these foods, then indulge in “dessert” later. Meow…

Bad news. We’re not getting enough shut eye. Each year, it’s getting worse. Sleep deprivation among U.S. workers has risen significantly between 2010 and 2018. And it’s costly in two major ways: Our health, and the bottom line.

According to the Journal of Community Health, sleepy workers cost employers $41 million in health-related lost productivity and 1.23 million working days. Fatigue impairs employees’ ability to function properly, and 13% of work injuries are due to sleep deprivation.

The most sleep-deprived professions:
 Protective service and military
Health care support occupations
Transport and material moving
Production occupations 
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When are we going to start taking sleep seriously? The American Academy of Sleep Medicine is urging adults to get seven or more hours of sleep each night.

The AASM has these Healthy Sleep Tips: (FYI: tips we’ve failed at.)

Keep a consistent sleep schedule. Get up at the same time every day, even on weekends or during vacations.
Crack Wise-dom: We love having a sleep marathon on weekends.
 
Set a bedtime that is early enough for you to get at least 7 hours of sleep.
Crack Wise-dom: We tried. And then Netflix made us its bitch.
 
Don’t go to bed unless you are sleepy.
Crack Wise-dom: Aren’t there other things to do in bed? Wink wink.
 
If you don’t fall asleep after 20 minutes, get out of bed.
Crack Wise-dom: But we’re soooo comfy…
 
Establish a relaxing bedtime routine.
Crack Wise-dom: Wine, wine, and more wine probably isn’t AASM approved…
 
Use your bed only for sleep and sex.
Crack Wise-dom: No wonder this bed feels brand new…
 
Don’t eat a large meal before bedtime. If you are hungry at night, eat a light, healthy snack.
Crack Wise-dom: Cheez Whiz straight from the can isn’t healthy?

For women, the “annual” involves spending way too much time in a waiting room, then in the exam room, for about five minutes of smearing, probing, and breast-kneading.

Dr. Kamilia Smith has taken a different approach. The Dallas-based gynecologist has opened Charleston House—a first-of-its-kind office for women’s health and wellness. She’s created a quaint office filled with Southern charm, taking into account that her patients are multi-taskers. The plantation-style home features a conference table with WiFi, outlets, and a coffee bar.

Dr. Smith also realizes that bedside manner is crucial, spending 15 minutes talking to her patients about mental health and wellness during appointments.

Pretty cool. But not as cool as Crack Wise would do it. We would have:

WiFi (that’s strong enough to be on our laptop while doc is on our “lap”.)
Taco/Nacho Bar
Chocolate Fountain
Heavy bag (to pretend we’re punching an annoying person in our lives)
Margarita Machine
Hula Hoops

This is why we are not allowed to be a doctor of anything…

P.S. Thoughts that come to mind: Southern Charm the TV show, but in your crotch; and Huddle House. Obviously, we’re always hungry.

Proper dental hygiene is crucial to a health life. It’s not an exaggeration. Yet, it’s amazing how many people blow of a visit to the dentist—which is supposed to happen twice a year. We get it. Many health insurance plans don’t cover dental; it’s a separate plan that one must purchase. Regardless, you need to keep your chiclets healthy!

Here’s what you expose yourself to if you don’t take care of business:
Heart disease
Respiratory infections
Alzheimer’s disease
Diabetic complications
Periodontal disease
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Dr. R. Craig Miller is a dentist and author of Get Back Your Smile, Take Back Your Life! He says many parents don’t prioritize their own health care, and that causes problems. Here are his tips for good oral health:

Prioritize your oral care. Miller says that starts with recognizing behaviors that undermine self-care, or in effect, people putting themselves last. “Parents just get caught up in their daily family life,” Miller says. “When it isn’t family, it’s work. Self-care takes a back seat to everything else.”

Regular brushing and flossing. People with good oral hygiene spend less on health care overall. “Proper brushing and flossing can turn back the clock on gum disease. Oral hygiene has a direct impact on the mouth’s microbiome, which is the balance of organisms that keep decay at bay. Without good oral hygiene, the mouth is at risk for developing periodontal disease — the leading cause of tooth loss in adults.”

Commit to a healthier diet. Excess sugar is one of the primary culprits of plaque, a sticky deposit on the teeth in which bacteria proliferate. “Without eating healthier foods and having good levels of vitamins and minerals in the body, good bacteria turn to harmful, which leads to tooth decay.”
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Stick with the program. “Dental treatment alone offers no guarantees for the long term,” Miller says. “The patient is the key person in the whole process. Successful outcomes rely on the patient to be a member of the care team.”

Crack Wise-dom:
Grab a toothbrush and toothpaste. Floss. And go see the dentist. Seriously. You get a free goodie bag with a toothbrush, toothpaste and floss every time. Win!

​We really need some (a lot) of disposable income so we can live our best life. It appears life is great at Velas Vallarta in Puerto Vallarta.

On the resort’s jetty, which extends into Banderas Bay (Is Antonio there? Because that would really make for best living…) couples can receive a Moonlight Massage. For 60 minutes. For $348.

This is the setting:
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From the press release:

“Bathed in moonlight and showered in fragrant flower petals, listening to the soothing sounds of the night tide rolling in, couples are treated to a gentle massage for full relaxation. Following the treatment, sparkling wine and chocolate-covered strawberries are served to enjoy beneath the stars. As a special takeaway, couples will receive petals soaked in fragrant essences to trigger their mind to the memory for days to come.”

Again, is Antonio doing the massaging? He hasn’t been in a movie in a while…

For whatever ails you, stick your body in a Prism Light Pod and come out fantastic!

Photobiomodulation therapy—or light therapy for us simpler folk—is an up-and-coming trend riding the wave of red light therapy’s popularity. This therapy is credited with enhancing weight loss and muscle recovery, and relieving chronic pain and skin conditions.

Prism Light Pod is a full-body cold laser system with 14,000 red LEDs.
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Prism Light Pod has six settings optimized for specific benefits:

Sports Rehab and Recovery
Helps repair ligaments, tendons, and muscles, and reduce stiffness and soreness.

Wound and Injury Healing
Dramatically speeds recovery from sprains, strains, and surgical procedures.

Skin Conditions and Anti-Aging
Helps even out skin tone and wrinkles, and visibly improve psoriasis, acne, eczema, and dermatitis.

Arthritis and joint Pain
Supports improvements in rheumatoid and osteoarthritis, while slowing disc degeneration.

Chronic Pain
Helps relieve pain caused by inflammation, nerve damage, and auto-immune conditions.

Weight Loss
Accelerates shrinking of fat cells

We don’t know the price tag on this baby. Probably need to max out the credit card. But hey, if it’s like the fountain of youth..

Crack Wise-ing: You had us at “shrinking fat cells.” We want to get into this thing as Fat Bastard, and come out like Gigi Hadid. Can you do that, Prism Machine Thing!?!?

The Asians got it going on in so many ways. Korean skincare has been a popular trend the past few years, and Singapore brand Sigi Skin wants some face time here in the U.S.
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Their focus is on personalized skincare with a minimalistic routine. Yes! Instead of spackling on the layers of makeup, Sigi wants your skin to shine so that you don’t need to cover it up.

Some highlights from their skincare line:

Kaleanser Face Wash ($38): A vegan face cleanser specially formulated with kale and soy extracts to gently remove impurities while also rebalancing your skin’s natural pH levels. It has a unique, jelly-like texture that makes the cleansing process feel like a dream and doesn’t strip away your natural moisture barrier.

Morning Glow Physical Sunscreen ($58): This hydrating vegan sunscreen not only helps prevent premature aging by protecting your skin from UVA and UVB rays, but also contains added superfoods like avocado and acai extracts, which are both rich in vitamin E and fatty acids. When applied, its light, whipped texture blends into your skin with ease, disappearing completely and leaving no white residue nor greasy film.

Pink Nectar ($62): Your eyes are in for a treat! This powerhouse eye cream is packed with natural extracts such as peach and propolis as well as nutrients like vitamin E, niacinamide and 5 different kinds of hyaluronic acid. What’s more, this product doubles as a hydrating lip mask too!
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Now, if Sigi could create a potion that mimics a soft filter…

We put aside the funformation, for serious information…

When we think of SAD--Seasonal Affective Disorder—we think “winter blahs”. The lack of sun, warmth, fun. But for some people, SAD happens in the summer.

Dr. Vinjay Saranga of Saranga Comprehensive Psychiatry says reverse SAD is real. “It’s not about being a party pooper. Summer depression can really bring some people down. The sun, to them, is utterly oppressive. It drains and exhausts them. They are energized on cloudy days. This type of exhaustion can isolate people and intensify feelings of sadness and anxiety.”
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Dr. Saranga says to look for these signs in yourself, or someone you know: agitation, anxiety, fatigue, eating too much or too little, significant changes in weight, unexplained aches and pains, loss of interest in activities that usually bring pleasure, lack of motivation, depression, little to no optimism about things, lacking that zest you usually have, avoiding friends/family/social situations.

If you see these signs, reach out to a health care professional. Or download an app.
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We want your happiness.